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[00:00:00] Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life than you have come to the right place. I'm your host, coach and life alchemist, Shirin Eskandani. And I have worked with thousands showing them how to create their dream lives while living their dream life.

[00:00:23] This podcast is where mindset, mindfulness and manifestation meet together. We're going to release limiting beliefs. Put your dreams into motion all while prioritizing your ease, rest and joy. Let's do this love.

[00:00:40] Hi love. Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my Mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at @wholeheartedcoaching. Or if you want to go even deeper into this week's episode and get my free weekly journal prompts, sign up for my email list and you'll be able to explore the topics we're talking about in this episode.

[00:01:05] Even further, you can do that in the show notes or by heading to my website, wholehearted-coaching.com. And if you're interested in working with me, whether that's one on one, in one of my group programs or one of my transformational courses, you can head to my website, wholehearted-coaching.com/offerings to find out more.

[00:01:29] And of course you can also head to the show notes and all of this information. will be waiting for you there. All right. Love. Welcome to this week's episode.

[00:01:39] Happy new year love. So new year, new podcast Yes we changed the intro. We are changing some other things with the podcast, but I promise you what we are not changing is the whole hearted content love.

[00:01:53] I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I hope you had a great new year. And I know that this is a time of year in which we start to really think about our goals or what we want to do. Over the next 365 days. So I thought I would take some time this month, especially for the next two episodes to really focus in on goals and goal setting, because honestly, our traditional way of goal setting kind of sets us up for failure.

[00:02:23] And I don't want that. Listen, the past two and a half years have been really different. All of us. I don't care who you are, have had a goal that was like smashed to smithereens, a dream that you wanted to do. That was totally dashed because of the world, what was happening outside and our communities. And so I know that the new year can be a time where we feel really reinvigorated to do new things and to start all over again.

[00:02:50] But it can also be this time where we really kind of get down on ourselves for what we didn't do and what happened. And so sometimes we end up creating these goals for ourselves where we're not really intentionally thinking about, do I really want this? And why do I want this? So love, I want you to really be set up for success.

[00:03:11] I want you to do all the things that you want to do this year. And I also want you to have joy and ease as part of that process. So I wanted to take these two episodes to really center ourselves as we create these beautiful, delicious goals. Listen, I love me some goals. I love creating goals for myself, dreams for myself.

[00:03:32] I really find it so inspirational and I didn't for a really long time. I didn't because my goals almost seem to like mock me, like, I'd get to the end of the year and I'd look at that resolution list. Oh, God resolution list. I haven't made those in a while, but I would look at that list and it would be like, just mocking me and taunting me, like, see, he didn't do this.

[00:03:55] See, you thought you were going to do that. Look at you now. And it's just so tiring. It's so self-defeating. And it's not the way that I want any of us to be embarking on this new year on 2022 with, so we're going to take some time to really look at our goals and create some really achievable, but also exciting goals for this new year and an honor of it being the new year and setting goals.

[00:04:24] This month, I'm doing a free week long masterclass. It's called your best year. And in this masterclass, we're going to do three live calls together. Don't worry. Everything is recorded. So if you can't make it live, you'll also get it in your email. And we'll be talking about all of the tools and techniques and concepts that I use to set myself up for my bestie.

[00:04:49] And when we say my best year, we're not talking about just getting things done. We're talking about doing the things that really excite us in a way that is sustainable and nourishing. So if you want to sign up for my free week long masterclass, you can head to wholehearted-coaching.com/best. Or you can just head to the show notes.

[00:05:11] So again, a free week long masterclass with me to set you up for your most incredible whole hearted year. Love. I really hope to see you there. All right, let's get into this week's mindset Monday. It reads create goals for the person you are today, so that you can become the person you desire tomorrow.

[00:05:35] All right. So this is a time of year when we come out of the gate strong, when it comes to our goals, right? I'm going to get up every day at six in the morning to go to the gym. I'm going to write a thousand words every other day, so I can get started on my book. I am going to finally quit my job and make my side hustle into my full time career.

[00:05:59] I mean, all of those goals are absolutely amazing and wonderful. But we've all been there when we've created goals that are so aligned with where we want to be, who we want to become, and we just can't seem to follow through. And then what ends up happening is that because we don't follow through, especially we don't follow through on things that mean a lot to.

[00:06:23] We get so down on ourselves, we feed into stories about ourself, about how we are failures or how we can never get anything done or how we honestly mess everything up. And then this story becomes bigger and bigger. And year after year, we really start to get more and more down on ourselves. So this episode is about breaking that cycle of if that cycle sounds familiar to you, what we're going to talk about today?

[00:06:51] Is going to completely transform how you create your goals. And in turn, how you see yourself, it's going to raise your confidence. And it's going to erase a lot of the stories that you're holding onto about who you are. So here is the truth. Love the problem. Isn't you, the problem isn't that you're a failure or that you're lazy or that you lack motivation.

[00:07:17] The truth is. Is that the problem is with your goals. It's the goals you're making. And I know that maybe you're saying, wait a second, it's not the goal. Like I really, really want to do this thing. It's not the goal's fault, but I just want you to open yourself up to this idea and we'll talk through it. So one of the first things that we do when we have an amazing idea is we start to create goals that are in service of that idea goals that are going to allow us to move towards what we designed.

[00:07:45] And I see this time. And again, with new clients, they name their dream. Whether that's starting a business, moving across the country, writing a book, they get super excited and inspired and they start to create goals that are going to lead them to that dream, right goals like contacting new clients, prospective clients, or hosting their first ever virtual workshop or getting out of debt in six months.

[00:08:08] And these are all amazing goals. But as their coach, I know that these are not the goal. That are actually going to be helpful towards reaching their ultimate goal. You see, while those goals are all incredible and they're in service of their dreams, they don't take into account something incredibly important.

[00:08:29] They don't take into account the person that they are today and what they're going through in short they're creating goals for the person that they wish they were. And the life that they wish they had, or they should have, or they're supposed to have, they're not creating goals for the person they are today, right?

[00:08:49] They're creating goals for version of themselves that just doesn't exist yet. Now it's hard to live up to these goals because they're not structured around the most important thing you and the life that you're living now. And that's why you can't follow. Not because you're a failure or you lack motivation it's because those goals you're creating are kind of setting you up to fail because they are not in support of the person you are today.

[00:09:16] Goals that don't take into account who you are, where you're at and what you're going through. They're only going to let you down love. So what I love to create with clients is what I call sweet spot goals. Sweet spot goals are the intersection of where you want to be going and where you are at now.

[00:09:39] They're goals that are in service of your big, amazing dreams. They're going to challenge you and stretch you, but they also really take into account who you are today. Sweet spot goals are incredible. I mean, I've seen such amazing results because of sweet spot goals, because they're going to propel you to where you want to go and they're going to sustain you because they take into account who you are right now and where you want to be going.

[00:10:09] So how do we create these goals? So the first thing is really being honest with yourself and asking yourself, what is my life like? Right. What are the resources I have available to me, what's the support system I have, what is going on in my life? What are the demands on my time and my energy that are non negotiable.

[00:10:28] Right? And also the second thing you got to know is who am I? You have to know about your quirks and tendencies and habits. And yes, a large part of coaching is shifting and changing habits. But some habits, well, they kind of stick with us. Like, I'm going to be super honest with you. I use this example often.

[00:10:49] I am someone who I love to get up early, but I also lays about my dilly dallying. That's what I call it. I'm a total dilly dally. And I, for the longest time would try to get myself sitting at my desk at 10:00 AM on a client. 10:00 AM on a client. Got, which sounds like super reasonable. Right. And I'm super privileged.

[00:11:10] I know this and that. I get to work for myself. I get to set my own hours. I'm sure someone is listening to this saying, oh wow. What 10:00 AM Sharon. Okay. But seriously. So my, my stretch was 10:00 AM. 10:00 AM on a client call. Y'all the amount of times I had to email a client and say, I'm so sorry. Can we start in five minutes, 15 minutes.

[00:11:32] I know this about myself. 11:00 AM is when I can be a respectable human to others when it comes to just, you know, showering and getting myself together. I'm a very nice person before 11:00 AM, but just like I can't get my life together before 11:00 AM to work with someone else. There are tons of times where I get at my desk at 8:00 AM and I work and I'm in my pajamas and my hair is in a messy bond.

[00:11:58] But like, if I want to interface with someone, it's gotta be 11:00 AM. And I kept pushing against this for the longest, longest time. But you know what, that's just a habit of mine that I can't seem to shift or change. And so that is my non-negotiable. That is my habit. 11:00 AM. So I want you to think about that when it comes to you.

[00:12:22] What are those things about yourself that, you know, just probably aren't going to shift for quite some time, maybe it's that you're not a morning person, maybe it's that, you know, you can't be doing 10 things all at the same time. Maybe it's that your energy levels, the end of the day are higher or maybe they're lower and you can't just shift those things.

[00:12:45] So instead of judging those tendencies, what have we worked with them? And. Right. What have you worked with that? And look at it as data. Like, I'm just not a morning person. So if I want to go to the gym or if I want to write 500 words every day is the morning. The best time for me to do that, is there another time of day that I can carve out for myself in which I can do that thing?

[00:13:14] Love it. These things. I just really want you to know they're not things to be ashamed of or to push against when we create our goals. These are things that we can work with and that we need to take into consideration. They need to be part of the plan, right? For me, 11:00 AM. I have just made that part of my plan.

[00:13:33] And now I get on my call. I look all fly. I look good. I'm ready to go. 11:00 AM. By doing this, I guarantee success because I know myself so well that I can't fail. So this is what sweet spot goals are all about knowing yourself so well that you can't fail. Love sweet-spot goals are a combination of self-awareness right?

[00:13:58] Knowing yourself. Well, self-compassion not judging yourself for who you are and seeing your habits and your tendencies as. And self-growth because you're also challenging yourself to get where you want to be. Right. You're challenging yourself, but you're also being realistic and compassionate and only, you know, what that means for you.

[00:14:20] And I know that, you know, especially at the beginning of the year, this is where it gets tough is that sweet-spot goals are going to be smaller and in the world of self-growth and develop. It can be easy to feel like, well, this isn't juicy or big enough. They're not challenging enough, but small is all love.

[00:14:40] This is why small is so important when we can follow through on these small things. On these small goals, we show to ourselves that we're capable, that we can do things we reinstill our sense of self-trust. And that's when we start to get confident, the word confident the Latin roots are , which means with trust.

[00:15:07] That's all confidence means it's the trust and knowing that you will and can do the things that you set out for yourself. It's about no longer betraying yourself. So often we create our own goals. We're setting ourselves up to fail. We are betraying ourselves. And when we do that, we start to create this narrative about who we are and we lose our sense of self-trust self-confidence and sweet spot goals are all about you reclaiming that you're claiming who you are.

[00:15:41] I am not a morning person and creating these beautiful goals that are in service of where you want to go and who you are today. And that's how we become. That version of ourselves that we desire to be love. It's through these goals. It's through that sense of self trust. When I started this business, holy crap.

[00:16:07] I mean, what an overwhelming thing, I'm going to start my own business. There's so many things to do, and this is how I did it. Small little pieces, small little wins, small ways in which I showed myself. But I can do things that I'm capable, that I can actually trust myself. So love as you're thinking of the goals, the dreams, the desires you want to accomplish this year.

[00:16:36] I really want you to also embrace who you are today, those quirks, those tendencies, and where you're at in your life. Right? Which means what are the resources that I have available? The support system? What are the demands on me? And know that regardless of what is actually going on in your life, you can still do big things.

[00:16:57] You truly can, but you have to also take all of that into consideration. It's not about bumming you out. It's really about you getting honest and realistic love this year. You can do everything that you desire and starting small. Starting with that sense of real self-awareness and self-compassion is going to lead to the growth so that you can become that version of yourself that you truly desire to be by the end of this year.

[00:17:28] Love. I am so excited for you. I'm so excited for you to try out these tools and see what you come up with and see how the next 365 days unfold for. So love go and create those sweet spot goals. Those goals that are in service of where you want to be, and that honor who you are today. And if you want to spend some time with me an entire week with me creating your most incredible whole hearted year, I hope you'll join me for your best year.

[00:18:03] We start on January 16th and we get to spend an entire week together with live calls. Everything is recorded and I'll be sharing some of my favorite tools and techniques that I use. And my clients use to create a really amazing year. You can find out more in the show notes, or you can head to my website, whole hearted-coaching.com/best year until next week.

[00:18:30] Love I'll talk to you then.

[00:18:35] Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend subscribe or follow where you love listening most. And if you haven't yet leave a review, you can do this on apple podcasts, task box, pod, chaser, or podcast addict until next week. Love.