Manifestation 101: How do I manifest the life I want? | ep114
If I know one thing to be true it’s that the Wholehearted Community LOOOOVEESS to talk all about manifestation. My podcast episodes on manifestation are the most downloaded and the most shared. So, this week on the podcast, we’re diving deep into manifestation. Manifestation is the process of bringing something into existence and today, I’m offering practices, tools, and manifestation exercises so you can really embody all we’re exploring today.
This month, I have manifested FIFTEEN speaking engagements. That’s right, love, 15! Now, if I could show you my vision boards and manifestation journal entries over the last few years, you’d see public speaking at the top! And this year, ya girl has been speaking with some pretty big companies.
I’m doing 3 workshops for Google.
Ulta flew me out to San Antonio!
So, like I often say, I am in this with you! We’re going to talk about how to start manifesting the life you want, your wildest dreams (like speaking for Ulta!). But first, I need to let you know that I didn’t always think so highly of manifestation. It actually was pretty difficult for me at first.
Before we dive in, if you’re ready to go even deeper into the basics of manifestation and learn my go-to 4-step manifestation process, click below to join my FREE Manifestation Masterclass:
I used to think manifestation was a bunch of crap
I was one of the skeptics, love. I would roll my eyes when someone would mention manifestation because I really thought it was just a bunch of BS.
Now, let’s add a little backstory here: I am a first-generation immigrant, I am a woman of color, and I got the things in my life through hard work, ok?
So, this whole “setting your intention and it just coming back to you” thing just seemed too good to be true. But, I also secretly wanted it to be real, you know? I was actually watching Abraham Hicks on YouTube, setting new moon intentions, creating visualization boards - listen, I even read The Secret. But nothing was happening for me. Nothing.
For a long time, I just felt like manifestation isn’t for people like me, but that was the furthest thing from the truth.
What exactly is manifestation
Back in the day when I was feeling all “Is manifestation real??” my biggest issue was actually with how manifestation was being taught and by who. I mean, I want you to think right now of who pops into your head when you think of the word manifestation. It’s quite possible they’re someone who’s privileged, white, able-bodied, cisgendered and I’m not trying to shade anyone or be mean in any way, but when I was learning about manifestation, it was hella white. It also never touched on things like trauma.
What we have to understand about manifestation is that there is no one source of manifestation or one expert of what manifestation is. Manifestation has been around forever and it’s been practiced in one form or another by so many cultures and peoples. There are manifestation examples found in Egyptian texts, African spiritual beliefs, Asian traditions, Indigenous communities. The roots of manifestation run deep.
But, what’s kind of happened is these beautiful, powerful ideas and traditions have lost their soul and meaning over time. Over the last century, it’s become kinda whitewashed, privileged, and jammed full of “positive thinking” with a heavy emphasis on receiving money, supporting consumerism and capitalism. No shade on making money, but that energy just didn’t feel good to me.
The truth is manifestation is actually an incredibly healing and powerful tool.
It requires you to completely change and transform your beliefs and the foundation of your being. Manifestation is about healing ancestral trauma, creating generational wealth, overcoming the fear and trauma you’ve experienced or inherited.
But in today’s world of social media, we’re really losing the depth of the beautiful, magical tradition that manifestation is.
3 things we first need to address about manifestation
Since manifestation has really lost it’s depth and true full meaning, many people of the global majority are feeling like it’s just not for them. So there are 3 really important things we need to address first.
We can’t talk about manifestation and not…
…honor the cultures that have been using it for centuries, too
…talk about racism, white supremacy, and systems of oppression
…talk about trauma
Love, manifestation is for everyone and even more so, manifestation is your mother tongue. It is the language of ease and dreams of magic and flow. This all exists within you. So, let’s talk about how to start manifesting what you truly want and desire.
An intro to F.L.O.W: my proven 4-step process to manifest the life you want
Many years ago, I created a 4-step manifestation process and it’s called F.L.O.W. which stands for:
Focus
Live in the Energy
Outcome Detachment
Work
Since I could literally write for ages on this process, what I really want to do is take you through the first step, Focus, to give you a great idea of what this process entails. And if you want to go deeper into all 4 steps and learn exactly how to start manifesting the life you want, check out my free masterclass Manifestation 101.
The first step to start manifesting: Focus (know what you want)
One of the most important steps in manifesting what you want is to actually know what you want — figure out what you truly desire and proclaim that. If you’ve ever read or watched The Secret, this may sound familiar to you. A lot of it is based on this principle of determining what your desire is, putting it out into the world, and then waiting for it to happen.
But for me, I’d get so frustrated with this. Like, I know what I want, where is it!? If you’re like me, let’s talk about what actually keeps us from being able to manifest. I find that there are two types of “blocked focuses” that actually keep us from manifesting what we desire.
Wishy-Washy Focus
These are people who are afraid to say out loud what it is they truly want or they never actually sit down to get clear on what they want. Whether it’s fear, indecision, or uncertainty, it doesn’t matter - the Universe cannot manifest wishy-washy or half-assed desires. Without asking, you won’t receive, love.
What holds you back
More often than not, you’re scared of your dream or you've lost your ability to dream. But, dreams are the foundation for manifestation and being able to dream and imagine again is the first step in being able to manifest.
Manifestation Exercise to know what you want: Wouldn’t It Be Nice
Either out loud or by writing in a journal, set a timer for 2-3 minutes and begin with the prompt, “Wouldn’t it be nice…” I want you to start small here. For example,
Wouldn’t it be nice if I had a really incredible lunch today?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I went for a walk today?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I went to bed early today?
Start off with easy, very plausible things and then expand from there.
Wouldn’t it be nice if this weekend I took the entire time off and did all of my favorite things?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I just booked a trip to Maui?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I got a book deal?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I was a New York Times bestseller?
I absolutely love this exercise because in a lot of manifestation practices we’re told to do it as if it’s happening right now and that’s sometimes really hard. Instead, the Wouldn’t It Be Nice exercise is playful. It’s an invitation. Instead of saying we’re doing this thing right now, we’re just playing around with the idea of doing it.
To dive deeper into this manifestation exercise, check out 110 | Big Dreams vs Practical Plans.
Focused & Frustrated
These are people who have been focused on their manifestation for forever and ever and are frustrated that it hasn’t arrived. This person isn’t afraid to dream. In fact, you probably have your long list with all of the specifics and you just don’t know where your thing is.
What holds you back
Focusing on your doubt versus your actual desire
When we’re trying to manifest, we think we’re focusing on our desire and what we want, but what we’re actually doing is focusing on the lack of it and the fact that it’s not here now.
For example, if you desire a partner, instead of focusing on all the amazing memories you’re going to make with this partner, you’re really focused on all the ways you don’t have a partner or how difficult the dating scene is.
The way we frame and focus on our desire is so key. How are you thinking of your manifestation? Are you thinking of the possibility? Are you thinking of how amazing it’s going to be? Or are you thinking of the fact that it’s not here?
Manifestation Exercise for You to Try: Future Diary
For 1 week, I want you to write journal entries in the future. Focus on 3 to 5 years into the future. When you write these entries, they don’t have to be long, but I want you to focus on how amazing it feels for this manifestation to have come true. Focus on the feelings. Focus on the possibility.
This exercise really allows us to get excited about our desires again. There’s always a time where we plant the seed of desire and feel that initial excitement. What this exercise does is brings us back to why we wanted the thing in the first place.
And there you have it, love. Now that’s just an introduction to my 4-step manifestation process. If you’re ready to learn how to start manifesting the life you want, click here to sign up for quick access to my free masterclass, Manifestation 101.
Whether you do or don’t, I highly encourage you to try these manifestation exercises because they are life changing (and I’m living proof of that).
Related: Want to hear about the dream life I manifested? Listen to 121 | My Story of Courage: How I Became a Life Coach
After listening, you’re going to love these episodes!
110 | Big Dreams vs Practical Plans
If you’re trying to create your dream life then you need to listen to today’s episode. So often we mistake planning for dreaming. And when we do so, we create practical dreams instead of the dreams we truly desire. Listen to this episode to learn how to create the life of your wildest dreams.
95 | The key to reaching your dreams
Tired of talking yourself out of your dreams? Listen to this episode to find out why you get so overwhelmed by your goals and how you can start to follow through on even your biggest desires.
93 | Manifestation: Willing vs Allowing [Best of WHC]
Sometimes we think we're amazing at manifesting and what we're actually good at is working hard. Listen to this episode to find out whether you are manifesting or willing your way into a life you think you should be living. Shirin shares some of her favorite tips to help you let go of willing and step into allowing.
84 | Leveling up for your dreams
It’s scary to reach your dreams. This is the truth. So often we’re told that in order to break through this fear we need to “Level Up.” But what does that actually mean? Listen to this episode to learn about how to embrace the fear that comes along with realizing our dreams and how to level up the wholehearted way.
A quote to take with you:
“Manifestation is your mother tongue. It is the language of ease and dreams, of magic, of flow, and this all exists within you.”
Did you know that each episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
[00:00:00] Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life, then you have come to the right place. I am your host, coach and Life Alchemist, Shirin Eskandani. And I have worked with thousands of people showing them how to create their dream lives while also living their dream.
This podcast is where mindset, mindfulness and manifestation meet together. We're going to release limiting beliefs. Put your dreams into motion all while prioritizing your ease, rest and joy. Let's do this love.
Hi love. Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my Mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at @wholeheartedcoaching.
Or if you want to go even deeper into this week's episode and get my free weekly journal prompts, sign up for my email list and you'll be able to explore the topics we're talking about in this episode. Even further, you can do that in the show notes or by heading to my website: wholehearted-coaching.com.
And if you're interested in working with me, whether that's one-on-one in one of my group programs or one of my transformational courses, you can head to my website, wholehearted-coaching.com/offerings to find out more. And of course you can also head to the show notes and all of this information.
[00:01:35] Will be waiting for you there. All right, love. Welcome to this week's episode. All right. Get ready. Love, because today we're talking all about manifestation. Now, if I know that there is one thing that is true about the whole hearted community is that you all love to talk about manifestation. My episodes on this podcast about manifestation are the most listened to the most downloaded the most.
[00:02:04] Episodes. So I knew the part of his 1 0 1 series. We had to have a manifestation episode. If you are just joining us for the first time for the month of may, I have been doing a series of 1 0 1 episodes. Now one-on-one episodes are where we look at a topic and theme, and we look at the basics of that topic and theme, but we also dive.
[00:02:28] Deeper and I offer you practices and tools and exercises so that you can really embody what we are exploring and talking about. And so today we're going to talk all about manifestation. Now this is going to be our final 1 0 1 episode for this month. And if you're listening live, you're like, wait a second, Shirin, there is an extra week in may.
[00:02:52] What's happening next week. Well, next week, I have a really special episode plan for you. It's an episode where I'm going to be sharing a lot of some personal stuff that has been going on in my life for the past few months. Don't worry. Everything is okay. But I wanted to share with you kind of the challenges that.
[00:03:11] I've been navigating and some of the lessons that I have learned as I've navigated this time, um, I've been waiting, I've been waiting a long time to share all of this with you, because I wanted to do it from a place of perspective. And next week is going to be a really special intimate episode. So get ready for that.
[00:03:32] But today, today, my love, we are talking all about manifestation and I've been thinking a lot about manifestation lately, because this month I have manifested 15 speaking engagements. Now some of these have been in person. Some of these have been virtual, but if I could show you my vision boards, if I could show you my journal entries over the last few years, you will see.
[00:04:02] Public speaking at the top of those lists, always on those vision boards, I cannot tell you what this manifestation means to me to be doing public speaking with big companies about topics. That mean so much to me. Y'all this month, I am doing three workshops for Google. I was literally flown out to San Antonio to do a public speaking engagement for altar.
[00:04:30] Yes. The alter this month has been a whirlwind and it has been this incredible month of me seeing my manifestation come to life. So today we're going to be talking about how can we manifest our biggest wildest dreams because this month for me, love has been truly my biggest wildest dream. I love to talk about manifestation because I was the person who used to think manifestation was a bunch of.
[00:05:01] Crap. I was one of the skeptics. I would roll my eyes when someone would mention manifestation. I thought it was a bunch of BS. Listen, I am a first-generation immigrant. I am a woman of color and I got the things in my life through hard work. Okay. And this whole manifestation thing of like putting your intention out there and it just coming back to you seemed too good to be true.
[00:05:28] But also secretly I kind of wanted it to be true, even though I was like, this is BS. I don't like this. This is all woo. Secretly deep down. I kind of wanted it to work. I kind of wanted it to be the real deal. I read the secret. I would watch Abraham Hicks on YouTube. I would set the new moon intentions and I would create those visualization boards, but nothing was happening for me.
[00:05:55] And so for a long time, I thought, you know what? This is a bunch of crap. This manifestation stuff. Isn't for people like me, people like me couldn't manifest. And now I am at a complete 180 of where I was before. Manifestation is real. Manifestation is true. We can all manifest and I love to talk about it.
[00:06:19] I love to teach it because I want you, my love to understand that you are able to manifest anything, your heart desires, no matter where you come from, no matter what you've experienced, no matter what you have seen, you can manifest anything. Listen, I am not a manifestation goddess. I'm not a manifestation, babe.
[00:06:42] I am someone who really wanted to figure out what this manifestation thing was. And I went in deep. I went into the real truth of what manifestation is, and that is what I want to talk about today. The truth, the magic, the science behind all of this. I have manifested my husband, my six figure business, my incredible community of friends, my speaking engagements this month.
[00:07:08] And love, I want to talk to you about how you can do this. Now, listen, if we were going to do all of the parts of manifestation 1 0 1, this would be a two hour podcast episode. And you know what? You're probably like that sounds great, Shirin. Let's do it. Let's go two hours. But listen, your girl. I do my podcast in the closet.
[00:07:29] I can't be sitting in my closet for two hours. I love you, but I just can't. So today we're going to be going over my four step process. Flow. And I'm going to be focusing on the very first step of that process. If you want to go deeper, I have a free masterclass completely free that you can sign up for by heading to whole hearted-coaching.com/one oh.
[00:07:59] The number is 1 0 1. So if you listen to this episode and you're like, this was great, but I want more head there. Sign up. It's I think a 75 minute free workshop, and you can hear all about the entire process behind flow, but today we're going to focus on the first part of flow. And let me tell you, there are a lot of things in that first part, a lot of great practices, a lot of great tools.
[00:08:25] So you're going to get a lot out of today's episode. Okay. So. Back in the day when I was like manifestation as a bunch of crap, one of my biggest issues with manifestation was how it was being taught and who taught manifestation. I mean, I want you to think right now of the person you imagine, when you think of the word manifestation, they're probably someone who.
[00:08:52] Is privileged is white, is able bodied is cis-gendered. Maybe they have a really nice hat on not to poopoo hats. I love hats, but I think, you know what I'm talking about and I'm not trying to shade anyone. I'm not trying to be mean to anyone. But when I was learning about manifestation, manifestation was hella Y.
[00:09:15] It also never talked about things like trauma, like the people who talked about it seemed so privileged. And to me it just felt so off. What we have to understand about manifestation is that there is no one source of manifestation or one expert of what manifestation is. Manifestation has been around forever.
[00:09:36] And it's been practiced in one form or another by so many cultures and peoples, you can see examples of it in Egypt, texts and African spiritual beliefs and Asian traditions, indigenous communities. There are all sorts of manifestation, rituals and practices. The roots of manifestation run deep, but what's kind of happened is that these beautiful, powerful ideas and traditions have kind of lost their soul and meaning over time and over the last century, the 19 hundreds, you know, manifestation has kind of become a little whitewash.
[00:10:16] So we see this, especially, um, in 1910, when Wallace D Wattles published his book, The Science of Getting Rich. And then in 1930 Napoleon Hill published his book think and grow rich. Now these books y'all, they're still being printed. People still buy them. People still will reference these books. These books were huge in their time and they still are now.
[00:10:41] And they're all about how positive thinking can make you read. And what we see here is this trend that we now really find in manifestation, this trend of whiteness and privilege and positive thinking. And that manifestation is just about making more money, right? Having more things, which again, I want you to manifest all the things that you want.
[00:11:04] But I think one of the things that really threw me off was just this focus on things on getting more money on this sense of consumerism, right. And capitalism. And, you know, again, no shame and making money, but the energy just didn't feel good. The truth is manifestation is an incredibly healing and powerful tool.
[00:11:27] It requires you to completely change and transform your beliefs. The foundation of your being manifestation is about healing, ancestral trauma. It's about creating generational wealth. It's about overcoming the fear and trauma that you have experienced, or that you have inherited to create. Different more and abundance and in social media now, this beautiful, beautiful, magical tradition is being packaged with these buzzwords and branding.
[00:11:57] And we're losing the depth of what manifestation is. And I think that this is one of the biggest reasons that people get put off by the idea of manifestation or that they think it's not for them. It's it's about how it's being presented and who is presenting it. So before we dive in. Three really important things.
[00:12:18] One, we can't talk about manifestation and not honor the cultures that have been using it for centuries too. We can't talk about manifestation and not talk about racism, white supremacy and systems of oppression. And three, we can't talk about manifestation and not talk about. Y'all. If you are someone who comes from a community of the global majority, our people have been manifesting from day one.
[00:12:44] Manifestation is meant for everyone. Right. But when we don't talk about things like racism, white supremacy, capitalism, patriarchy, we're leaving out a very big part of the equation. Right. I always say, did you manifest that or was that just white supremacy? Was that just systemic oppression? We really have to be conscious of privilege when we talk about things like manifestation and finally trauma, I work with a lot of clients who think that they can't manifest because they think so negatively because of what they've experienced or what they've seen growing up that they think they can't manifest because of their past.
[00:13:24] And that's. We all can manifest, but for those of us who have trauma, whether that is lived, experience trauma or inherited trauma, it just takes a little bit more patience and compassion, but love, we all have access to that magic and that abundance. Love manifestation is your mother tongue. It is the language of ease and dreams of magic of flow.
[00:13:50] And this all exists within you. And what we're going to talk about today is how you can reclaim your mother tongue were claim your ease, your dreams, your magic, and your flow. All right, let's get into it. Manifestation 1 0 1. Many years ago, I created a four step process to manifestation and it's called flow flow stands for focus, live in the energy outcome, detachment and work for this episode, we're going to focus on the first.
[00:14:27] Focus. And if you want to go deeper, if you want to find out about the other three steps, go and check out my free masterclass manifestation 1 0 1. Yes. It's the same name as this podcast episode. If you want to check that out, go to whole hearted-coaching.com/ 1 0 1. Okay. We're going to get into what focus is.
[00:14:51] The first step of manifestation is figuring out. What you desire asking yourself, what do I want? What is my deepest desire and proclaiming that does that. Sounds really easy, but it's actually not. And if you've ever read the secret or watch the secret, a lot of the secret is based on this principle of what is my desire, putting that out into the world and then waiting for it to happen.
[00:15:18] And I would get so frustrated with the ideas and the secret, because I'm like, listen, I know what I want. Where is this damn thing? So you may be like me and I want to talk about what keeps us from actually being able to manifest our desires when it comes to focusing on our desires. I find that we have two types of what I call a locked focuses.
[00:15:47] So the first type are wishy washy focuses. These are people who are afraid to say out loud what it is that they truly desire, or they never sit down to really get clear on what it is that they. Whether it's fear and decision or uncertainty, that's holding them back from stating their desire. It doesn't matter.
[00:16:08] The universe cannot manifest wishy-washy or half-assed desires, right. Without asking you won't receive. And if you're listening, thinking, Ooh, I think I'm a wishy-washy manifester. Let's talk about, what's holding you back from being more clear about your desires. What I have found more often than not with wishy washy focuses.
[00:16:32] They're kind of scared of their dreams or they've lost their ability to dream. I talk about dreams so often on the podcast, because dreams are the foundation for our manifestations. They are the kindling for our manifestations. Being able to dream and imagine again, is really that first step in being able to manifest dream and imagine beyond what we've seen in our lives dream.
[00:16:59] And imagine beyond what we've been told, we can have dream and imagine be on what we think is possible for us. When I talk about dreaming and imagining, I am talking about the way you used to dream and imagine when you were little, right. That really expansive way with no limits where you didn't stop yourself, where you didn't put a cap on things.
[00:17:23] No, you just allowed yourself to dream. We're scared now as adults to allow ourselves to dream, because we think we're setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. We've been burned by our dreams in the past. So we block ourselves from dreaming or you put a cap on. Or we have a dream in our heart and we don't allow ourselves to think about it, to expand upon it, to write about it or to proclaim it.
[00:17:50] And when I say proclaim, you don't have to proclaim it to a friend or to a person proclaim it. Even to yourself. We're afraid to even talk about our dreams to ourselves. Love dreaming is scary because it's all about you. It's about your needs, your wants your desires. So there is so much vulnerability involved in all of this.
[00:18:15] If you speak the stream into the world, into your journal, into your vision board and you fail, then it does if you failed yourself, but like, Dreaming is the source is the beginning of our greatest manifestations. And I'm going to tell you that dreaming is hard for all of us. At some level, we've all experienced pain, hardship and loss, and all of these things play into why we hold back from dreaming.
[00:18:45] But if we want to create a future, that is unlike anything we've experienced, we need to reignite our ability to dream and imagination. Dreaming is where possibility exists. I want to offer you a practice if you're like, Ooh, I'm a bit of a wishy washy focuser. I want to offer you an exercise that is so powerful.
[00:19:07] And even if you're not a wishy-washy focuser, I want you to try this practice because it's going to reveal so much to you. This is my favorite manifestation exercise. Y'all okay, so this is called, wouldn't it be nice. So you can do this two ways. You can do it by saying it out loud, or you can do it by writing this down.
[00:19:28] I want you to set a timer for two to three minutes. Even more if you're feeling a little spicy. So once you set your timer, I want you to start off with a prompt. Wouldn't it be nice. And I want you to start small, so wouldn't it be nice if I had a really incredible lunch today? Wouldn't it be nice if I went for a walk today?
[00:19:49] Wouldn't it be nice if I went to bed early today? Right. So starting off with things that are really easy, very plausible, and then expand from there. Wouldn't it be nice if this weekend I took the entire time off and I did all my favorite things. Wouldn't it be nice if I just booked a trip to Maui?
[00:20:08] Wouldn't it be nice if I got a book deal? Wouldn't it be nice if I was a New York times bestseller. Wouldn't it be nice if I had a huge lake house? So I want you to try this exercise saying, wouldn't it be nice each time, writing it down, saying it out loud and see what happens. See what you come up with.
[00:20:29] See what flows easily. See where there's resistance. I love this exercise because in a lot of manifestation exercises, we're told to do it as if it's happening. Right. I am a New York times bestselling author, or I have a huge house on the lake and that's sometimes seems really, really hard and I get it.
[00:20:48] It's sometimes hard for me to, but the wouldn't it be nice. Exercise is playful. It's an invitation. We're not saying we're going to do this thing, but we're just kind of. Playing around with the idea of doing it. So try out the, wouldn't it be nice exercise and also check out episode one 10 of the podcast, which is all about.
[00:21:11] Okay. So we have our wishy washy focuses. The next group of people who sometimes can't seem to focus are what I call focused and frustrated. Now I will say this at times in your life, you will find that you will fall into wishy-washy more or focused and frustrated more. Or sometimes you're a bit of both.
[00:21:31] At the same time, I have found that most human beings. I have experienced both of these groups, these categories of people. Okay. So let's talk about focused and frustrated. Manifestors. These are people who have been focused on their manifestation for forever and ever, and are frustrated. It hasn't arrived, you know, you're like, I'm not afraid to dream.
[00:21:53] In fact, I have my long list with all of the specifics and I don't know where this thing is. Where is my Jason Mamoa, where is my seven figure book deal? Where is my lake house property? Okay. So this is where sometimes focused and frustrated. Manifestors go wrong. There's two big barriers, the first barrier.
[00:22:15] And let me tell you, when I learned about this first barrier, it blew my mind. Is, are you focusing on your desire or your. Okay, let me explain deeper. So many of us, when we are trying to manifest think we are focusing on our desire on what we want, but instead, what we're doing is focusing on the lack of it on the fact that it's not.
[00:22:42] You see, every subject is actually two subjects wanted and not wanted. And often you believe you're thinking about the thing that you desire, but you're actually thinking about the exact opposite of what you desire. For example, if you desire a partner, instead of focusing on. All the amazing memories you're going to make with this partner and all the amazing things that are going to do with this partner.
[00:23:04] You're really focused on all the ways you don't have one or how difficult the dating scene is, or how much you hate Tinder and Bumble and all the things. If you desire more money, instead of focusing on all the amazing things you're going to do with that money, you're focusing on how little money you have or how terrible you are at finances.
[00:23:25] If you desire a new job, instead of thinking about how amazing this new job is going to be and what kind of impact you're going to make in the world, you're focused on how terrible the job market is and how competitive things are. Or another way of looking at this is, you know, I want to be well versus I don't want to be sick.
[00:23:46] I want to have financial security versus I don't want to be broke anymore. I want a relationship versus I don't want to be alone. Can you feel the difference between those statements? Right? The way we frame and focus on our desire is so key. A lot of the times we think we are focusing on the thing we want, but we are fixated on the lack of it.
[00:24:11] The fact that we don't have it yet, the fact that it's so difficult to do the thing or that it's not possible for us love the universe, produces what we focus our energy on. So if you're getting more of what you don't want, then you may be focusing your energy on the wrong. And it's not that you intended to.
[00:24:31] It's so easy for us to focus on the fact we don't have the thing and how frustrated we are. We don't have the thing, but I really want you to think of how you are thinking of your manifestation. Are you thinking of the possibility? Are you thinking of how amazing it's going to be, or are you thinking of the fact it's not here and how frustrated and angry and sad and disappointed you all?
[00:24:57] Now, let me tell you it's absolutely okay. To feel frustrated and disappointed and sad during the manifestation process. But what we learned to do as we manifest is find healthy ways to bring us back to how good it feels to be in that place of desire and possibility. So this is such a big part of our manifestation process.
[00:25:20] Focus on the thing you want, focus on how good it's going to feel to have that. So a great practice for this is one of my favorite exercises. Okay. I know I've said that about every exercise and I will say about every exercise on this episode, but listen, I am giving you my top tier exercises. The ones that I do, the ones that I give to all my clients today.
[00:25:43] Okay. So this exercise, I call it future diary. For one week. I want you to write journal entries in the future, do three or five years. Okay. And when you write these entries, they don't have to be long, but I want you to really focus on how amazing it feels for this manifestation to have come true. Really focus on the feelings, focus on the possibility.
[00:26:11] This exercise really allows us to get excited again about our desires. Right. There's always going to be a period of time from when we plant that seed of desire. And when it happens, always whether that time is hours, days, weeks, or years, and it can be really easy for us to fall out of that place of excitement.
[00:26:33] And this exercise brings us back to why we wanted the thing in the first place. Okay, so now we're moving on to the next barrier with focused and frustrated. Manifestors sometimes I find with focused and frustrated. Manifestors y'all are getting a little too specific. Okay. Now, okay. Let me break this down because listen, I do this as well.
[00:26:57] PS, everything I talk about on this podcast, I also have to deal with. Okay. So. Here's what I mean, oftentimes I will see people getting incredibly specific with their desires, which instead of helping them hinders them in that we can often manifest our way into a life, into relationships, into situations that weren't meant for us, a life that we think we're supposed to have a life that we think will make us fulfilled and happy.
[00:27:26] But isn't the life that is for us. So while I don't want you to limit your dreams. I also want you to know that the universe has something in store for you that is even greater than you could have imagined. You know, I want to share with you how I manifested my husband. It's a very long story, but I had a list for my future partner that was like specific's height, income, family, background, you know, their hobbies, all of the things.
[00:27:54] And it was incredibly detailed. And I would actually meet this man. I met this man time and time again. And while this man ticked off all the boxes, all of the height, the income, the family background, all of the boxes, they were oftentimes absolute dishes. I said it, I said the word right. And I would try to make it work.
[00:28:16] Cause I was like, oh my gosh. But they're like taking off all the boxes there. They're doing all the right things. There, all the details, all the things are, they. And that's when I had a coach. Tell me, Hey Shirin, instead of focusing on those things, on those qualities, focus on what it would feel like to be in the presence of your partner, what would it feel like to be next to them?
[00:28:39] What would it feel like to hold their hand? What would it feel like to be doing the most mundane things with them? And for a month, she had me imagine and visualize being with my partner, not being able to see what they look like, any of that. Cause I was so specific, but just be with my partner and imagine what it would feel like to be next to him next to his presence.
[00:29:04] And this really clarified for me how I wanted to feel with my partner. My coach also had me look at that list. I had made the things like income, the things like family background and hobbies. And she asked me to look at that list and see what were the feelings that I was really desire. Meaning I was creating this list full of qualities and things, but what I was really trying to make a list of was how it would feel like to be with my partner.
[00:29:35] What were the feelings they encompassed and embodied? So something like height was about attraction. Something like income was about security. Something about hobbies was really about adventure and play. And so I created two lists. I had one list with all the qualities and then one list with all the feelings.
[00:29:57] What would it feel like to be with this person and these two exercises, right? Imagining that visualization with my partner in the future, what it was like to be next to them. And these two lists doing these two exercises y'all was the greatest thing. When I met my husband, he didn't have half the things on that qualities list.
[00:30:21] You know, the height, income, hobbies, whatever list he didn't have half of those things, but he made me feel exactly like I did in that visualization, that list of feelings that I had created, he ticked off every damn one of them. And let me tell you. I could not have created a list of qualities for my husband, because I did not know a man could be like my husband.
[00:30:47] There are things that my husband does that in the past, I would have never thought was possible that a man wouldn't never do that for me, that our relationship could never be like that. So the lists we're making, we have to understand are limited. They're limited to what we have seen. They're limited to what we think is possible.
[00:31:03] They're limited to what society tells us is possible for us. They're limited to our sheds and supposed tos and love. I don't want you living a life that is limited in a box. I want you living an expansive life. So the exercise I want you to try is to really get into the feeling. Write down your list of specifics, right.
[00:31:25] And then get clear on what are the feelings that I'm really desiring have those two lists. And try out the future memory exercise I did with my coach for a month. Just try for five or 10 seconds to visualize yourself in a memory with your partner, a future memory. Don't imagine what they look like, but just what it feels like to be next to them, what it feels like to be holding their hand.
[00:31:52] What does that feel like for you? So love, this is flow. This is how we can focus on what we want to manifest in a way that is in flow, right in the flow of the universe that is clear. And that also allows us to really manifest each one of our desires and beyond. Listen, this, this is a lot. I gave you a lot of tools and ideas to kind of sit with.
[00:32:21] And I wanted to do that this month. I'm going to be taking some time off in the summer, not yet, but there are things you can come back to in this episode. Things you're probably want to revisit. I really encourage trying these practices. I'm telling you they are life changing. And if you're like, I want to know the three other steps.
[00:32:41] Check out manifestation 1 0 1, my free masterclass. It's at whole hearted-coaching.com/ 1 0 1. And all that information will also be in the show notes. Okay. So my love, this is the end of our 1 0 1 series. Thank you for joining me next week. We're going to get really intimate and vulnerable. I can't wait to share my story with you.
[00:33:06] As we wrap up, I want you to think of one thing that's really resonating for you in this episode. And we're going to take a deep breath in and out, and I want you to hold that thing at the very top, that insight, that wisdom. So breathing in, holding, holding, holding, and breathing out. Until next week. Love, I will talk to you then.
[00:33:36] Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend subscribe or follow where you love listening most. And if you haven't yet leave a review, you can do this on apple podcasts, task box, pod, chaser, or podcast addict until next week. Love.