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[00:00:00] Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life, then you have come to the right place. I am your host, coach and Life Alchemist, Shirin Eskandani. And I have worked with thousands of people showing them how to create their dream lives while also living their dream.

This podcast is where mindset, mindfulness and manifestation meet together. We're going to release limiting beliefs. Put your dreams into motion all while prioritizing your ease, rest and joy. Let's do this love.

Hi love. Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my Mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at @wholeheartedcoaching.

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And if you're interested in working with me, whether that's one-on-one in one of my group programs or one of my transformational courses, you can head to my website, wholehearted-coaching.com/offerings to find out more. And of course you can also head to the show notes and all of this information

[00:01:35] will be waiting for you there. All right, love. Welcome to this week's episode. So today's episode is all about productivity. How can we be more productive? We talk a lot about dreams here on the podcast, and if we have dreams, then that means we also want to go after our dreams. This is one of the number one questions I get asked by clients all the time.

[00:02:01] Shirin, how can I do all of this? There's just so much I want to do in my life. How can I be more productive? If you are a dreamer, which I know you are because you're part of this. Then I know that your to-do list is long and the more we dream, the bigger we dream, the bigger that list gets. So being productive is a big part of the equation.

[00:02:27] And in today's episode, I'm going to be teaching you my productivity protocol. I'm going to be teaching you some ideas that are going to totally. How you think about productivity and how productive you are. But of course, this is wholehearted coaching. So we're not going to be talking about life hacks, like waking up at 5:00 AM or bullet journals and in, and, and, and, and, and know these are soul hacks that allow you to really do the work that you want to do in the world that allow you to create those to-do lists that are in service of your wildest dreams.

[00:03:03] Now, before we dive deeper into productivity and into the productivity protocol, I want to say one thing, something I think is really important in our society. We are constantly being told to be more productive, to do more, to be more, to be doing more all of the time. And today's episode, right? We're talking about how can we do more?

[00:03:26] And I want to let you know that love you do not need to be doing more. You do not need to be producing all of the time. You do not need to be productive all of the time we deserve rest, ease and joy. And while yes, today's episode is all about productivity and it's feeding into the systems that be, that are telling us to do, do, do.

[00:03:50] This is a way of looking at productivity that is more kind and more gentle. And it's a way that we can look at productivity that allows us to really thrive alongside the demands of our goals and our dreams. So you do not have to be producing and productive all of the time. And yet I also know that being productive allows us to do the things that we really want to do in the world.

[00:04:17] So today we're going to be talking about productivity, but in a way that is more gentle and more kind. So the analogy that keeps coming up for me in this episode is, you know, those cool parents who are like, if you're going to drink, drink in my house. So you're not out in the streets being irresponsible.

[00:04:35] This is what this episode. If you're going to be productive, let's do it in the whole hearted coaching house. Okay. Let's do it. Let's be productive. Let's make big things happen, but let's also be kind to ourselves as we do it. Okay. Sound good? All right. So this information that's coming up love. It's going to help you be more productive.

[00:04:58] But remember you were not put on this earth to just produce. Okay. I've said my peace let's get into productivity 1 0 1

[00:05:15] So I want to share a scenario with you. It's a cycle that I used to get stuck in all of the time. And I have a feeling that this cycle is going to resonate with. I would start every Monday with the longest to do lists like this incredible to-do list. And I would be pretty optimistic. I would be like, you know what, we're going to get this done this week.

[00:05:39] This week is going to be unlike every other week because this. We are going to be on top of it. We are going to do things in a timely manner. We're not going to get distracted this week. I will tick off every damn thing on this to do list. Okay. So Monday coming out of the gate, strong feeling like things were possible.

[00:06:01] I had some hope I had some optimism this week was going to be different. Okay. So that's Monday, then Wednesday would roll around. And, you know, uh, I'd look at that list and be like, okay, you know what? Um, I definitely have not gotten as much as I wanted done. And that's when a bit of the worry and the low grade anxiety would set in, you know, I'd look at the list and I'd look at the time I have, and I'd be like, oh, can I, can I actually feasibly do.

[00:06:35] But then I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, you it's Wednesday, you got Thursday, you got Friday. You can do this. If you just really focus, if you just really, really focused, finally get this done and then Friday would roll around and that list would look at me as if it was mocking. You thought that you were going to get all of this done.

[00:06:56] You, you thought that you were, you were going to tick off everything on this list. This list would be proof of how lazy I was. How much of a procrastinator I was, how much I wasn't motivated this list was a sign of me being a failure. I would finish every. Feeling so defeated. I would finish each week thinking that I wasn't capable, that I couldn't do the things that I really wanted to do.

[00:07:28] I would be filled with so much shame and blame and guilt, and then Monday would come around rinse and repeat ad nauseum again and again, and again. And every time on Friday when I wouldn't do the things that I said I was going to do, I would start off each Monday with just a little less confidence, a voice in the back of my head, in my belly saying, you know what?

[00:07:57] I don't think you can do this because you didn't do it last week or the week before that, or the week before. And it just became this endless cycle of feeling defeated. So as I am describing this love, does this resonate with you? I have a feeling it does because most, all of us go through this cycle, whether it's week to week or just once in a while, but we all have this really messed up relationship with our to-do lists in which our to do lists become the signifier of who we are and how capable we are.

[00:08:33] They become a signifier of how productive we are. So here is the thing with our to-do lists. They never ever get shorter. And if you are a dreamer, then those lists are actually going to become longer. I say this often, but every dream realized brings along with it its own laundry list of to do's. So your list, if you are a dreamer and if you are somebody who is really realizing those goals is just going to get longer and longer and longer.

[00:09:10] And if we allow our to do lists to signify whether we are productive or not, we are always going to fall short. So one of the big keys to becoming more productive is no longer using your to-do list as a signifier of whether or not you are being productive. Okay. So I'm going to share with you an insight, an aha moment that I had that changed everything for me.

[00:09:39] When it came to productivity love, there is a difference between being productive and feeling productive. I'm going to say that again, there is a difference between being productive and feeling productive because the truth is that most of us are actually being very productive. When we look at what we are doing in a day in a week in a month, if we actually looked at those things, those things that we are doing professionally and personally, things that are in service of our own growth of our families, of our relationships, we are doing a lot.

[00:10:19] But because we are basing our productivity on those damn to do lists that never, and we never feel productive. Okay. So we're being productive, but we don't feel productive because what we are basing our feeling of productivity on is the list. So then how do we feel productive? Feeling productive is a feeling that only you can give yourself the permission to feel.

[00:10:51] It's the moment that you say to yourself, this is enough. I have done enough when you can look at the list and see what you have ticked off and say that's enough. And I am really happy with that. I am really proud of myself. Feeling productive is a feeling love that only you can control productivity is a feeling.

[00:11:17] It is a feeling love. This for me was a game changer. Feeling productive is something that I can actually control. You know, in the past, when I thought of that cycle, I kept going through. I realized, oh my gosh, I was being so productive. But because what I believed I could do and what I could actually realistically do were so different.

[00:11:39] I never allowed myself to feel productive. Right. Because I wasn't taking off all the things on that to do list. I wasn't allowing myself to feel productive. The moment. I realized that being productive and feeling productive are two different things that changed everything for me. And actually it ended up making me more productive, actually being more productive in a very tangible way.

[00:12:07] Let me explain why. So in the past I was going through the cycle and at the end of the week, I felt like a failure. And because I felt like a failure. I would start off every Monday. Like I said, with this voice in my head and this feeling in my belly that was telling me, you actually can't do this. You cannot get this done.

[00:12:27] So I was embarking my week with this fake optimism and fake hope that I could do it really with the underlying belief that you can't do this. And because I had this belief, I felt defeated and hopeless from day one. And then I get to Friday and it would be the self fulfilling prophecy, and it will be more proof of how I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do.

[00:12:53] And this just kept on happening over and over again, because I was waiting for the day where I could tick off all the things on my to-do list, which was impossible because y'all my to do list was impossible to get. We're going to talk more about that later. Okay. But the moment that I had the shift of realizing that productivity is a feeling and it's a feeling that I can only give myself was when everything changed when the week would end, I would look at my list and say, well, I am so proud of you, that you got all of this done considering what was going on this week, considering what was being demanded of you from your personal life.

[00:13:31] I am so proud of you for getting this done. I started to allow myself to feel productive and because I felt productive, I started feeling really good about my. I started to feel capable. I started to feel inspired and because I was feeling so good, I was motivated to do more. I was motivated to stay on task.

[00:13:53] I was motivated to actually tackle my list so that. I actually started to get more and more done. So on Mondays, when I was feeling on top of the world saying to myself, you can actually do this. I started to believe it more and more, every damn week. And so I actually started to not only feel productive, but be productive.

[00:14:19] I want to dive deep now into the productivity protocol, the two things, there's only two steps to it, but they're big steps that have allowed me and my clients to not only feel productive, but in turn, be more productive. So the two steps of the productivity protocol are one acknowledge and celebrate. And the second step is do less.

[00:14:44] Now, I know that sounds like it goes against everything we're talking about. Right? How can doing less, allow me to do more. You'll see, love, stay tuned. So the first step acknowledging and celebrating what we are doing love each and every single day you are getting things done, but the problem is you're just ignoring them.

[00:15:06] You're bypassing. Because you have that to do list that is at the back of your mind, or maybe it's on your desk or on your calendar. And you look at that list and it makes you think that this accomplishment today isn't enough that you have all these other things that you need to do. So this thing, this little tiny thing that you did today, isn't worthy of celebration.

[00:15:26] It's not deserving of celebration. It's not big enough. It's not enough. So you just sidestep it, you ignore these tiny achievements, these tiny things that you are doing every single day, but this is where we're doing ourselves, such a disservice, those things, those daily things that we are doing, they are worthy of acknowledgement and celebration.

[00:15:51] So this first step here is really asking you to reframe what you believe and accomplishment is what you believe is worthy of acknowledging. We ignore the things that we do each and every day, because we're chasing down the bigger thing, the bigger dream, the bigger goal, Renee brown has this great quote, which is about how we miss out on our joy, because we're so busy chasing down the extra ordinary that we forget the ordinary.

[00:16:20] And this first step of the productivity protocol is asking you to celebrate the ordinary, to make the ordinary extra ordinary. When I started to celebrate the small things, that's when things shifted for me, because I started to feel this really amazing feeling of competence and capability. I started to feel really productive.

[00:16:43] I was like, wow, look at this. I finally did it. I finally sent that email. I finally contacted that person. I started making those quote unquote small things, really big moments in my life. And because I started to do that, I started to see myself so differently. I started to see myself as a productive person, as someone who is capable of doing the things that I said I was going to do.

[00:17:09] And by unlocking those feelings by acknowledging what I was doing, I became in my own eyes, a capable, motivated, productive person. I started to change who I believed myself to be, which is such a big part of everything we are talking about in the past. I didn't believe I was a capable, productive person.

[00:17:32] But once I started to really acknowledge and celebrate and shift my ideas around what was worthy of acknowledgement. Right? What was an accomplishment? What was an achievement? That's when I really started to see myself to believe myself, to be a capable and productive human being. Love those small things that we are doing, they are not small.

[00:17:55] The small things are what add up to the really big things and taking a moment to acknowledge them, to celebrate them. And when I say acknowledge and celebrate, I don't mean you got to break out the champagne, but you know what? You could do that too, but it's the simplest of things I call these micro celebrations.

[00:18:15] Micro celebrations are patting yourself on the back. Giving yourself a hug saying out loud to yourself. Oh my gosh. I am so proud of you. You did that. Y'all I literally do this to myself and my husband knows he's like in the next room and he's like, my baby just did something. This is what I do for myself.

[00:18:35] Micro celebrations. It could be a dance party of one. It could be going for a walk. It could be eating your favorite piece of chocolate or bar of chocolate. No judgment here. But it's just taking a moment of time, even if it's just a millisecond to say, yes, you did that love. I want you to start really acknowledging what you are doing each and every day, because I know you are doing things each and every day that are important, that are in service of something big that you desire.

[00:19:09] Stop waiting on the big, on the extra ordinary to celebrate and to acknowledge because if that's, when you're doing it, it's too late. It is too late to wait until you accomplish that dream love because you know, what's going to happen by then. You're going to be burnt out and miserable. Science also backs up what I'm saying.

[00:19:28] When we take a moment, even a small moment to acknowledge our achievements, our accomplishments, what ends up happening in our body is that there is this beautiful dopamine rush and dopamine is a feel good chemical. We like dopamine y'all. And so our body starts equating our day-to-day work with this really good feeling inside.

[00:19:50] But when we don't celebrate our achievements, we don't get that dopamine rush. And so our body starts equating hard work, doing work with nothing. And that's when our bodies literally stop us from getting stuff done, because our body's like, you know what? You're putting all this work in and what's the point.

[00:20:12] There's no rush. There's no good feelings. Why are we doing this hard work? And we've all been there, right? That moment where your body just shuts down, it doesn't allow you to do any more work. This is what's happening. Oftentimes it's that your body starts equating our day-to-day work with nothing. And so it literally makes you do nothing.

[00:20:37] And so this really helps with us being productive, right? If we want to keep doing more and more, if we want to keep challenging ourselves, we have to allow our bodies to feel good. So this celebrating and acknowledging piece is so important on an emotional, spiritual, and physical level. So this week in honor, of the productivity protocol in honor of celebrating yourself, I want you to start really looking at what you are doing day to day, whether that's just getting out of bed, putting on real pants that don't have a draw string and celebrating yourself, doing something small and really acknowledging those things that you are doing each day.

[00:21:19] See what shifts for you love. See what shifts for you this week. When you start to actually acknowledge what you are doing and reframing what is a worthy of acknowledgement and celebration. Let me tell you things are really going to shift. So now we're at the second step of the protocol and this is going to sound counterintuitive, but it is to do less.

[00:21:43] So step one is celebrate and acknowledge. And step two is do less. I'm going to speak a truth. And it's a truth that I think is fairly universal. We are not realistic with our to-do lists. We're just not now. Listen, I think it's great to have a really grand to do list and break that down into quarters or seasons, but when it comes down to a day to day or week to week level, We are more often than not really unrealistic with what we can actually get done with the demands on our time with the demands on our life.

[00:22:19] It's like we make these lists for a fictional version of ourselves, right? The version of ourselves who has one more day that week, a version of ourselves who has two assistants, the version of ourselves who doesn't have a family life. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like, we're creating a list for another human being.

[00:22:39] And what do less is really talking about is love. I want you to become really aware. I want you to get really real. I want you to have so much self-awareness as you create your to-do lists, creating a to-do list that is realistic, that has less items in it is a really big part of feeling productive.

[00:23:00] Because if you can look at that list and you can see that you are ticking things off and of course celebrating them, that creates a huge shift in your feelings. You start to feel like, oh, I'm productive. Which makes you believe that you are productive. So I want to share with you how I organize my day and how I encourage my clients to organize my day.

[00:23:25] I call it three, three, one. I created 3, 3, 1 by taking all of these brilliant ideas by brilliant coaches that I love looking at how they structured their day and then seeing what worked for me. This is what 3, 3, 1 entails. It includes three professional goals. I want to get done three personal goals I want to get done.

[00:23:50] And one intention. So this is for every day I create a three, three. So there's a personal task part of this because we are human beings. We are 360, right? We shouldn't just be focusing on our professional lives. So those things on your personal list can be something small, like maybe going for a walk, sitting down for lunch or dinner, calling a family member, moving your body, whatever that may be.

[00:24:19] One intention. And that one intention is a feeling that you want to have that day. So maybe it's the feeling of joy or adventure or grounded-ness and three professional tasks. So here is where 3, 3, 1 requires some experimentation. You have to create a task for yourself. That is a stretch, right? That is in service of what you want to get done.

[00:24:42] But that's also realistic for the person who is here to do. Something that allows you to actually go towards the goals that you have in your head, but that also takes into account everything that's going on in your life. I also call these sweet spot goals. Listen to episode 95. If you want to go into a deep dive of what a sweet spot goal is, but very simply put as the name suggests, it's that sweet spot.

[00:25:09] It's that place of creating a goal that really stretches you, but also meets you where you are. You know, when I used to look at my old to-do lists, I would create a to-do list that was just not feasible. Like, I'd be like, okay, on Monday, I'm going to write the entire copy for my landing page. I'm going to reach out to 10 clients and I'm going to lead a call.

[00:25:31] And I was like, what? Who? Huh? That's not possible. That's way too much stuff. And so I couldn't get those things done and things would get pushed to another day and then everything would become a mess. So this is really about you experimenting, seeing what is a stretch and what is actually doable. And what I've actually also started to do in my weekly calendar is have half a day at the very end of the week where I have nothing planned.

[00:26:03] And that's what I know I can catch up on the stuff that maybe I overestimated my time and my energy and my effort. So this 3, 3, 1 practice is such a great practice in self-awareness self-compassion and self-growth, it's really, you starting to understand who you are. There is such a great feeling and knowing who you are of really having your own back, because the problem is when we can't do the things that we say we're going to do.

[00:26:34] We really start to no longer trust ourselves. We stopped believing ourselves. I mean, think of it this way. If you had a friend or a partner who would tell you they're going to do something by Friday and every week they wouldn't do it, what would you start to think of them? Would you believe them? Would you trust.

[00:26:52] And love when we lose our sense of self-trust and self-belief, that's when things really start to unravel. That's where we really start to question whether we can reach the goals that we create for ourselves. So when I create a three-three one each and every day, I know that I can easily tick off the things that I'm writing and they are in service of the big things that I'm trying to work towards.

[00:27:17] And when I can tick those things off, I feel really productive. I start to really trust myself. I believe in myself again. And what ends up happening when I trust myself, I believe myself and I believe myself to be a productive person is I actually end up adding more and more things to my 3, 3, 1. Now that's not something that's necessary, but I've found that that happens often where my three-three one becomes a 4, 4, 1, or sometimes a 5, 4, 1, or whatever that may be.

[00:27:49] That's the cherry on top of it, all that extra stuff. So this week love try out 3, 3, 1. Maybe it's not every day. Maybe it's just today, right? Create those three personal goals for yourself, right? Because you are a person and I want you taking care of you. Find that intention. How do you want to feel today?

[00:28:11] Check in with yourself, see how you're feeling emotionally and spiritually and create an intention. That's really in service of where you're at right now, and then create those three professional goals that are in service of your wildest dreams of what you need to get done. I love 3, 3, 1, because it's really all encompassing.

[00:28:32] It's about the professional, the personal, the spiritual it's about all of those things. So remember that scenario Monday, Wednesday, Friday, this is what's shifted for me since I've started using the protocol Monday, I feel really capable. I create a list for myself that is in service of what I need as a human and in service of my dream.

[00:28:56] I believe myself to be a productive and capable human being, because I have shown to myself that I can do the things that I say I am going to do. I feel really good because I celebrate and acknowledge my accomplishments each and every day. And all of this allows me to not only feel productive, but really quite tangibly be a productive human being.

[00:29:23] And this all changed because of what I shifted on the inside. So this isn't about hacks, right? This isn't about you getting up earlier, or this isn't about you having a particular type of journaling system or whatever that is. No, I hope what you're realizing in this episode is those things don't matter, unless you are giving yourself the permission to feel productive, unless you're acknowledging yourself.

[00:29:47] You, my love are the key to your own productivity. You have the key and that key is in you allowing yourself to feel productive. So love this week. I really encourage you to celebrate your accomplishments more, to reframe what an accomplishment is, what is deserving and worthy of celebration and acknowledgement.

[00:30:11] To create a list every day that not only nurtures or professional life, but also your personal life and create that list in a way that honors where you want to be going and where you are today. I promise you, if you start doing these things, if you start implementing the productivity protocol, everything will shift.

[00:30:33] Yes, you will be more productive, which is great. But. Your experience of your day to day, your experience of your own life is going to transform. And that is what is the most important thing. You will start to believe that you are capable, that you can do the things that you say you're going to do, that you can follow through, that you are productive, that you can get it done.

[00:30:59] Now my love it's time for you to take these tools and try it out. So before we end, I want you to think of one thing that's resonating with you from today's episode. And we're going to take a deep breath in and out, and I want you to hold that thing at the top. So breathing in holding that insight and breathing out.

[00:31:25] Until next week. I'll talk to you then. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend subscribe or follow where you love listening most. And if you haven't yet leave a review, you can do this on apple podcast. Castbox pod chaser, or podcast addict until next week.

[00:31:48] Love.