5 Truths about your Dreams | ep153
If you are here reading this right now, there is one thing I know to be true about you:
You are a dreamer.
Inside you are hundreds of dreams. Dreams that scare you, that excite you, that inspire you. Dreams that are so connected to who you are and what you want to do in this world.
Right now, I am smack dab in the middle of realizing a big dream.
I’m in what we call the “work your butt off” phase where every waking hour and minute is dedicated to that dream. This means that on Saturday, I spent about 8 hours working on a big project. EIGHT HOURS ON A SATURDAY?!
In my defense, I thought it would only take 2 or 3 hours (I was VERY wrong).
At around 6 pm, bleary-eyed and totally drained, I came out of my office and thought to myself “What the heck did I sign up for?!”
And that’s when I saw my husband in the living room with a big smile on his face. He had cooked me dinner and had my favorite show on the tv. We spent the evening eating, cuddling, and ended the night with a dance party.
And I thought to myself, “This is my dream life.”
Here’s the thing they don’t tell us about our dream lives:
They’re not perfect.
We have this false belief that when we’re living our dream lives, there are no more struggles and worries. That everything will be easy and nice. The truth is dream lives are reality, which means that they include taxes, scheduling, drama, and self-doubt.
Our dreams are not exempt from day-to-day struggles.
I once used to dream of living in NY, being in a deeply loving relationship, and having my own business.
I am literally in the midst of my dream life. And let me tell you, while there is so much amazingness, there is also a lot of worry and stress.
Somehow, we think our dream life will be void of problems and set-backs. That everything always works out and we won’t spend 8 hours on a Saturday working on a big project.
Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
So, let’s talk about some truths about our dreams.
Truth #1: As a dreamer, you have to know the difference between a Practical Dream and an Audacious Dream.
A lot of us start with “practical” dreams. These are dreams that are safe. They’re dreams we know we can achieve. We’ll obviously have to put in some hard work in order to do so and it may be a little scary, but they’re dreams that exist within this box of what we think is actually possible for us.
While they are dreams, they’re dreams that are contained, that have a limit to them.
Now listen, there is nothing wrong with practical dreams. This is actually where most of us start. They’re like the training wheels or the tricycle of dreaming. But love, practical dreams are not the ones that exist deep within your heart, your soul. They’re often not the dreams we actually have and want for ourselves. Instead, they’re the dreams that other people say we should have, that other people expect from us. Practical dreams are filled with should’s and supposed-to’s. Practical dreams are where a lot of us get stuck.
Audacious dreams require us to move beyond the box of what we think is possible, what they say is possible, what we should do. Dreaming audaciously is all about calling upon that part of yourself that dreams big and endlessly.
With this truth, I call you to get really clear and ask yourself, “Am I dreaming practically or am I dreaming audaciously?”
What this calls for you to do is to step into that place of audacity where you are naming dreams that kind of make you go, “Huh? What? Can we actually do that??” Cause love, those are the types of dreams that change lives, that change worlds.
*And if you’d like to go deeper into your audacious dreams, check out episode 142 | How to Dream Audaciously
Truth #2: Dreaming is scary!
When you are in that space of audacious dreaming, it is so incredibly scary. It will be as terrifying a space as it will be an exciting, inspiring, and incredible space.
I want to share a math equation with you:
The amount you want to do something = The amount of fear you will experience thinking about doing it
Love, you’re going to feel scared. You just are.
The dream that I am currently working on (and announcing soon!) has bee a roller coaster ride of emotions. Some days, I’m like, “Yes! Look at this view. This is the best decision I ever made for my life.”
And the next day… I am going down that roller coaster, screaming for life, and just hooping that those rickety safety restraints actually work.
If that isn’t a clear description of what going after your audacious dreams is like, then I don’t know what is. It is a roller coaster ride of all of the feelings and that is absolutely okay.
You will question yourself.
You will doubt yourself.
You will find yourself.
That is part of the journey.
Those moments of doubt and insecurity aren’t a sign that you’re supposed to turn back or change course. They are a sign that you are on the exact right path.
So, as a dreamer, it is absolutely important to know how to navigate fear because your fear will try to talk you out of doing this thing so many times. But fear is going to be a part of this and we have to accept it. We also have to create and cultivate tools to be with that fear.
To dive deeper into this, check out episode 108 | How to Navigate Fear.
Truth #3: Your dream is usually just the first draft.
What I have come to learn is that our dreams have a journey of their own.
When I first dreamt up Wholehearted Coaching, I thought it would be this amazing one-on-one coaching business. I knew I would work so intimately with incredible humans. Then, that dream morphed into group coaching, still with incredible humans. That dream then morphed into online courses and eventually into an in-person retreat.
Now, its morphing into the next thing (my announcement I’ll be making in May).
Oftentimes we look at our dreams as destinations, but the truth is our dreams are going to want to change course at some point. Its our job as the dreamer to be in tune with how we are feeling with that dream, to be in touch with our intuition to know when things begin to feel off and when its time to explore a different avenue.
With my current dream, I began to sense something about 2 years ago. I felt this need for a change, a need for a shift. Sometimes, we can be so stubborn to shift course with our dreams, but if we get really fixed on a dream, we can end up accomplishing something that we actually don’t even want anymore.
So love, don’t get so fixed on this dream you have in your heart. Take the steps towards realizing it, but also stay in touch with yourself and your desires. If something inside asks you to reassess or to shift, give yourself the grace to check it out, to change, to evolve.
Our dreams are a never-ending journey and they will take you down a path you could never have imagined. As long as you allow it to do so.
Truth #4: Every dream realized comes with its own laundry list of problems, stresses, and overwhelm.
Once we realize a dream, it doesn’t mean that everything is fixed.
We can get so fixated on getting there thinking that once we do, everything is going to be perfect, amazing, and wonderful! But, then we get there and realize… Holy crap… I have to deal with other stuff now…
As I said earlier, we often look at our dreams as finite destinations, as end goals. As places that we will get to and everything will fall into place and be solved or be perfect.
Honestly, we’re setting ourselves up to be pretty disappointed if we think life is going to be perfect once we reach a dream.
It’s going to be amazing, no doubt! But, it’s also going to ask a lot of you. It’s going to ask you to figure out new habits, new skills, new ways to navigate the things you now have in your life.
Our dreams require a lot of us, not just in achieving them, but also in sustaining them.
With this truth, I want you to remember that once you reach your dream, there are going to be new things asked of you. That doesn’t mean you did it wrong. It doesn’t mean this dream isn’t right for you. It just means that this is what dreams and dreaming is like.
Truth #5: You are living your dream life AS you are creating your dream life.
Don’t wait until you “get there” to savor, to relish, to celebrate, to be in the joy that is your life right now, love!
Don’t wait until you achieve that big dream in your heart to be in that space of joy.
As dreamers, we are always trying to get there. We’re so focused on there that we can sometimes forget that here is so damn incredible and amazing. We can be so fixated on all the things we’ll have when we get there that we forget to focus on all of the amazingness that we already have here.
So love, realize what a dream your life already is. Don’t wait until you realize your next dream to feel how you think you’ll feel. If you aren’t allowing yourself to feel that joy, that celebration of the life you have now, you’re probably not gonna feel that once you get there.
Relish and savor this dream that you are living right now.
Right now, you are in some shape or form living your dream life.
In fact, I bet a former version of you dreamed of you being here- whether that has to do with your relationships, your career, your lifestyle, your hair... Whatever.
So this is my question to you, love: “How are you already living your dream life?”
This week, journal or think about that — how you are already living your dream life. See what comes up for you, love. ❤️
If you enjoyed this, you’ll also love these episodes:
Our biggest dreams also hold our biggest fears. That’s why most of us delay taking the next step towards our dreams. It’s not because we’re lazy or procrastinators but because we’re just really scared. Listen to this episode to learn what fear is, how to navigate your fear, and how to unlock the path to your biggest dreams.
142 | How to Dream Audaciously!
Do you remember how it felt to really dream? To dream big, to dream daringly, to dream like you did when you were an imaginative child? I believe so much in the power of dreaming and it is our wildest dreams that have the power to truly change our lives and the world around us. In this post, I want to help you get back to dreaming your biggest, wildest dreams that speak to your true desires with a super simple exercise that will help bring you back to dreaming audaciously.
Did you know that each podcast episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.