Your Superpower [A Wholehearted Pep Talk] | ep86
Today’s Mindset Monday reads:
And one day you will realize that the things you used to be most ashamed of are the things that make you so incredibly special today.
“What makes me unique?”
This is something I hear often from clients. Let’s be honest, most of us struggle to figure out what makes us stand out...what makes us so incredibly special.
In the coaching world we often talk about identifying your superpowers: the things that make you unique and special. And usually when we talk about superpowers, we talk about traits like how well we communicate, or how funny we are, or perhaps how great we are at problem solving. And while these are superpowers, lately I’ve been thinking that we need to go even deeper.
To figure out what makes us so unique, we need to look in the shadows. We need to look at the parts of us of which we once used to be so ashamed.
When I think about my life today I see that all the good that I have created whether personal or professional is somehow connected to the parts of me that I wish didn’t exist when I was younger.
My immigrant-ness
My Iraninan-ness
My untamable hair
My body
My odd sense of humor
These things are what make me stand out today. They are what make me unique as a coach, as a wife, as a friend, as a human in the world. They are the reason why I have the friends that I do, the clients that I do, the partner that I do. They are truly my superpowers.
They became superpowers the day that I learned to fully accept them, appreciate them and bring them to the fore.
Love, it’s the parts of you that you (used to) hide that need to be highlighted.
It’s the parts of you that you wished weren’t there that are actually your greatest gifts. Not to sound cheesy but it’s what makes you different that makes you so incredibly special.
I want you to take a moment and think of your younger self…
The version of you who wished they were more “normal”, or who wished they fit in. And I want you to reflect on each and every thing that they wanted to hide about themselves.
Now, reflect and see if you can connect those things to who you are today, the community you have today, the work you do today.
Take a moment and affirm that younger version of yourself. Let them know that they are special not despite but because of their quirks.
And can you today, stand even more rooted in all those quirks, love? Can you magnify them even more? Can you embrace and acknowledge them even more?
So love, this week see if you can honor your uniqueness by truly honoring and acknowledging where it comes from.
A quote to take with you:
“What makes you most unique?
The things you used to be most ashamed of growing up. The things you wished weren’t there. The things you wished just made you normal and like everyone else.
Those things are what make you so damn special and unique today.”
Want to dive deeper through journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to trust your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
[00:00:00] Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life. When you have come to the right place, let's create your dream life while living your dream life. Okay, love.
[00:00:21] Hi love. Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. This is a retake, a deeper dive into my mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at @wholeheartedcoaching, or you can get the full post. Plus my weekly journal prompts. When you sign up for my email list, you can do that in the show notes, or you can head to my website, wholehearted-coaching.com.
[00:00:45] So today's episode is an aha moment that I had, I had it very recently and I think it may be an aha moment for you. It's about what makes us so unique. It's about what makes us so special and creating a different perspective around what that is. And this episode may seem like it's a business episode.
[00:01:08] It's not, I promise you it's not it's for everyone, but it was inspired by a conversation that I had at the ignited women's summit. So the ignited women's summit is an incredible summit that happens every year in CS. And this year I got to be the MC of this incredible women's empowerment conference. And I was on a panel.
[00:01:31] I was actually emceeing the panel. And one of the questions was how do I monetize my uniqueness? And on the panel, we had a really incredible discussion around this. And at the very end I had this epiphany and today's episode is me sharing this epiphany with. So today's mindset, Monday reads, and one day you will realize that the things you used to be most ashamed of are the things that make you so incredibly special today.
[00:02:07] So this question of how do I monetize my uniqueness? The answer that came up for me was the only thing that we can monetize is our uniqueness. The reason why people want to be in community with us, whether that is in business or in our personal lives is what makes us so incredibly unique. And so we went on to ask the question, well, what is it about ourselves that makes us so unique?
[00:02:37] Because oftentimes we don't know. And there was some really great suggestions and there were some exercises I suggested that I give to my clients. So if you are unsure of what your unique qualities are, I would recommend emailing contacting three to four people that you know, that you know, in different arenas of your life and asking them, what do you most love about hanging out with me?
[00:03:05] What do you most like about how I am, what I do and the ways that I do it now, some people would call this, what are my super powers? And I love that idea of superpowers, but you know, when we ask what's my superpower, we think of things like, oh, you're really organized. You're a great public speaker. You are, you know, affectionate and generous and warm and yes, those are your superpowers.
[00:03:33] But when you hear those things, you may not feel like, oh, well, that's what makes me so unique. Well, I have an answer to figuring. What makes you most unique? And it came to me on this panel and I literally got chills when I thought of it. The things that you used to, that we used to be most ashamed of growing up, the things that we wish weren't there, the things that we wish, just we made us more normal, made us more like everyone else, those things.
[00:04:08] Are the things that make you so damn special and unique today. I want you to think about that for me. This was a true aha moment, because right now in the work that I get to do with you all, I know that the things that make me unique are the things that I wish did not exist when I was in elementary school, in high school.
[00:04:33] My weird sense of humor. My immigrant newness, my Iranian newness, my otherness, my hair, my body, all of these things that I really once wished were just different. And that I wished I could be quote, unquote more normal are now the things that I know make me so damn special and unique. They are the reason why I have the friends that I have, whom I love and adore.
[00:05:05] They are the reason why I have the partner that I have, who is the most incredible human ever. And they are the reason why I get to work with so many amazing people. I mean, my community is one of the most incredible. And if I really think about them, they are very reflective of who I am and what I think is amazing and unique in the world.
[00:05:30] They are funny people who. Often come from historically marginalized communities who often felt like outcasts, but feel like they never fit in. These are the people I want to be in community with. And so if you are listening to this today, and this is resonating with you, you're like, oh wait, that, that is true.
[00:05:51] That all of those things that I used to be ashamed of. Uh, now the things that make me so damn special are now things that I love or fully embrace about myself, or perhaps you're listening to this. And you're like, I'm not really there. I'm not really there. If you are on that side of the spectrum, love, I want you to just make a list, actually, all of us should do this.
[00:06:16] Make that damn list of when you were in high school, when you were in college, when you were in elementary school, whenever that time in your life, while. Write down all those things that you wish were more normal about you. They used to be ashamed of that. You used to want to hide. And I want you to look at that list and now look at it from the context of this grown ass human and see if you can find how those things make you so unique and special now.
[00:06:49] So if you have a business love, that is your superpower. Those things are your super power. If you are in your own personal life, trying to figure out how to show up in spaces, those things, those are your damn superpower, whether it's new friends, new relationships, new work, colleagues, whatever it is for you love that is what makes you so damn unique and special and incredible.
[00:07:17] And really it gave me chills because I think of that girl, I used to be who truly wished she was different. I mean, I can't tell you y'all I was the only chubby brown girl. Okay. With these hairy legs, with a hairy curly head with these immigrant parents, whom I love and adore bringing the most weird quote unquote weird lunches to school with this really weird way of looking at the world.
[00:07:44] And all of a sudden realizing, oh my goodness, my love placing a hand on my heart and saying those things are your gold. They're the treasure. I was recently talking to a client who is starting her own business. And she is this beautiful mix of introvert and extrovert. She can have these really shy, quiet moments.
[00:08:05] And then also these really loud moments as well. Whereas she is just telling you what she thinks and what she believes in. And she was being really disparaging about this quieter side of who she is and thinking she was saying, you know, I can't have a business being this quiet person. I can't do that. I should always be this louder version of myself.
[00:08:28] And this idea popped in my head. And I said, love that quiet side of you. That is part of your uniqueness to this beautiful balance. You have the CN and this young, and that is what's going to make you so incredibly unique and special to someone out there. Someone who just like you feels like no, no, no. In order to be quote unquote successful in the online world, I need to be an extrovert and out there all the time and telling people what I think and what I believe.
[00:08:56] No. The beauty is who you are. It's that unique part of who you are. Those parts of us that we truly wish were not there when we were younger are now the things that we say, thank goodness, this is here because this is what makes me special. This is my special sauce. So I want to end with a reflective exercise.
[00:09:23] I want you to think of that younger version of yourself, that younger version, who wished that they had, you know, straight hair or that they wish they brought normal lunches to school, or they wish that they made jokes, like all the other kids in school, whatever that version is, think of that younger version of yourself.
[00:09:44] Imagine that version, imagine how they showed up in the world. What was their favorite outfit? How did they hold their body? What did they believe? What did they think? And now I want you to imagine you, the adult grown ass person today approaching that younger version of you and telling that version of you, how incredibly special, all those quote, unquote shameful things about them.
[00:10:20] Telling them how special they are because of their hair, because of the way they see the world because of who they love and what they love and how they love, uh, from that younger version of you, let that version know that they are special because of not despite of those traits and those habits and those preferences and those values.
[00:10:50] Affirm that younger version of you. Because when we affirm that version of ourselves, we today stand even taller, stand even prouder. We affirm ourselves in every damn way. So love today this week, this month, honor your uniqueness and honor and acknowledge where it comes from. So until next week, love, I will talk to you then.
[00:11:21] Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this week's episode, please share it with a friend comment and rate this podcast until next week. See you later. Love.