Age, Aging, and Not Giving a Damn | ep 161
As I age and get older, I am constantly learning how to be at peace with where I am at in my life and to really savor the life that I am living.
Age and aging can be such a loaded topic, so what I hope to do here today is to release some of the stress and worry we carry about where we are in our lives and where we think we “should” be.
But, before we dive in, I have a quick announcement!
As we’re moving into a new season, this may feel like a natural time to go inward and focus on what is going on internally. In support of this natural shift, I am offering a week-long masterclass called Coming Home
Consider this a gentle little kickstart to taking care of you again. During this experience, you’ll join me for 3 live masterclasses where we will look at how we can come back to the most true versions of ourselves. You’ll walk away with new tools and ideas to help you navigate your own self-growth journey. We begin September 17th and you can sign up here or by clicking “Save Your Spot Now” below.
Let’s get into today’s topic.
This week’s Mindset Monday reads:
Your timeline is yours and yours alone. There is no place you’re supposed to be. There is no place you should be, except right here.
Trust that your timeline is unfolding exactly how it is meant to, love.
Let it be. Let it unfold.
Let it all happen when and how it’s meant to.
If you’re tuning into this week’s podcast episode live, then you’ll know that I have just celebrated my 40th birthday.
Some of you may hear that and think, “Oh my God, she’s old!” Others may think, “Oh my gosh, she’s a youngin’!”
That’s the thing with age: it’s so damn relative.
When I was in my 20s, I had this idea of how my life was supposed to unfold. That I was supposed to be married by the time I was in my late 20s. That I was supposed to have a kid or two, a home, and a mortgage by my mid 30s.
Then, all of a sudden, I was nearing my 30s and I realized that my “timeline” was not going to happen.
I couldn’t look at that timeline and see how I was supposed to fall in line with society’s should’s and supposed-to’s. I couldn’t see how I was “supposed to” have these things done by these expected ages. So, I panicked. I stressed. I worried.
In my 20s, I was pursuing a career as an opera singer and this meant life was pretty unpredictable. I didn’t know when my next job was going to be, I was constantly traveling so it was difficult to create a firm personal life.
As I was about to turn 30, I had just broken up with my boyfriend of four years who I thought was going to be “the one.” And listen, I didn’t think he was “the one” because of who he was or because he was my person. I thought he was who I’d married simply because that’s what you do in your late 20s, right?
As I was turning 30, I had this idea in my head that you are not supposed to be lost right now. This is the time when your life is supposed to be firm and secure, right?
But, as I turned 30, my thoughts were all:
Holy crap… what’s going on?
What is happening?
You are so behind.
This is NOT where you should be.
Now, as I’ve turned 40, I can honestly say that so much has changed.
I feel amazing. I feel so excited.
There’s no shame or judgment.
There’s no, “I’m supposed to be here. I should be here".”
And it’s not because I’m now married or have a kind of better understanding of my finances.
What really has shifted everything for me is simply reclaiming my timeline.
What does reclaiming mean?
Reclaiming is a process of really understanding what is yours and what is not yours to hold onto. It's a process of understanding what you have been conditioned to think about yourself and your life. It's about you understanding what are the beliefs that I want to hold onto, what are the beliefs that I truly do believe in, and what are the beliefs that have been handed down to me?
When it comes to our timelines, we have been given some real crap beliefs. We've been sold this lie that feeling safe and secure looks like getting married, having a home, having a mortgage, having a job.
But love, you’ve probably had those things and realized that they didn’t make you feel any more secure or fulfilled in your life.
When we’re crossing these things off our list because we think we should do them or we’re in this time crunch, that’s when we can realize that our timeline is not our own.
This is what my 20s were all about: chasing this elusive timeline created by everyone but myself.
As I journeyed through my 30s, it was the exact opposite. It was all about reclaiming each and every year and wiping my slate clean and of any “should’s” and “supposed to’s.”
Instead of “What do I want 28, 34, or 40 to look like?”, the question became, “How do I want it to feel?”
How do you want this year of your life to feel, love? How do you want the next one to feel?
When we focus on the feelings, we end up creating goals that are outside of the box. So, when I think of my 40s, I want to feel grounded, bold, like anything is possible. When I think of those feelings, I hve no idea what I’m going to do in my 40s, but oh my goodness, these feelings are such an incredible compass to follow.
Love, it’s time to reclaim your timeline.
Look at what you’re holding onto. What are the things you think you’re supposed to do? What do you think you should do? Let’s re-examine them.
How do you want to feel in the next 5 years? How do you want to feel by the time you reach the next decade? How do you want to feel 2 decades from today?
This question — “How do I want to feel?” — will allow you to truly break free, to let go of what you’re holding onto that is not yours and reclaim the beautiful timeline that is just yours.
Tune into this week’s podcast episode — 161 | Age, Aging, and Not Giving a Damn — to hear the rest of this conversation and learn the test I use each year to guarantee I am truly living with intention.
Did you know that each podcast episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.