When you’re Ready to Burn it all Down | Ep155
We live in a society that applauds finishing. We’ve all heard it:
You have to finish what you start.
If you’re here, I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say you’ve probably found yourself responding to that with a “Hmm… I don’t know about that…”
This idea exists in our families, our culuture, our society that whatever it is that you start or embark on, you have to see it through and that your value as a person and your success in life is contingent on what you finish.
But love, this is such a harmful and toxic narrative and it’s one that I want us to dismantle and burn down.
How many times have you embarked on a goal and either halfway through or at the end, you’ve thought, “Do I actually want to do this?” But, instead of listening to that voice, you push and you will your way through to the end. You think of all the time you’ve invested into this thing, so you don’t quit, you don’t shift, you don’t pivot.
But, when you get to the end, you realize you don’t actually want it anymore.
If that sounds like you, then love, today’s message is for you. Today we are burning down the phrase, “You have to finish what you start” and allowing ourselves to stop, pivot, and change our dreams.
We have been conditioned to believe that finishing and succeeding are one and the same.
Society has led us to believe that those of us who see things through are worthy of praise and approval and those of us who don’t finish what we start are a failure, that we lack motivation, or that there is something intrinsically wrong with us.
I want us to look at this idea with a new perspective.
I know that you have been in a situation where you knew something you had set your heart on wasn’t for you anymore. Maybe it was a month in, three months in, a year, maybe even 10 years. But something in your body, your mind, your spirt was saying,
“You know… I don’t think this is the thing for us anymore.”
But usually, in that moment, instead of listening to the voice inside of us, we ignore it. We push past what our intuition is saying because we have been taught to believe that seeing things through is a sign of success.
So, on the other side, we become really accomplished people with really amazing resumes but inside we feel so unfulfilled and so empty. This is because through all the pushing, we aren’t honoring what we actually want to do which is to let it all go and burn it all down.
If this is where you’re at in your life right now, welcome to the family, love.
You’re probably hearing that voice inside saying,
“Hey, remember that dream we had a copuple years ago? That dream we’ve put so much time and effort into? I think this isn’t for us anymore.”
And love, if you’re scared to listen to that voice, I get it.
This is something I am personally going through at this very moment. I have really had to sit with, honor, and listen to this voice in the past 2 years.
One of my biggest dreams is Wholehearted Coaching
This work that I get to do with clients one-on-one and in my group coaching program is an absolute dream of mine. But, about 2 years ago, I heard that voice. It was telling me that this dream is great, but that it’s going to be time to change it in a few years.
And at first, this was hard to hear. I’m like, “Ok, cool it, voice. I’m really happy. Things are good!”
But, this voice knew better. It knew that I was expanding, it knew that I wanted different things, and it knew that if I waited just 3 or 5 more years, I would get to the point where I really resented the work that I was doing.
So, I knew I had to listen to this voice.
And I did. And right now, I am in a huge pivot and it is messy. It is challenging. It is difficult, love. But! It’s necessary for what I am trying to create.
Throughout my life, I have had to make these pivots so many times. I honestly think one of my superpowers is really being able to listen to that voice inside that’s telling me that it’s time for things to change.
This happened when I shifted from my professional singing career into becoming a life coach. I mean, talk about a leap, right?
I was so terrified during that pivot! My childhood dream was to become an opera singer. This was the dream in my heart. It was what I loved to do. But, about 10 years into my professional singing career, I realized that I wasn’t doing what I truly wanted. While I loved singing and being on stage, I didn’t love being a singer. I didnt’ love what it meant for my personal life. I didn’t love the politics, the ups and downs, and the pretty toxic industry.
My dream just didn’t align with what I wanted in my life anymore.
The moment I realized I needed to stop singing and shift careers, i was terrified. My identiy was being a singer, so when I first heard it, I ignored it. I didn’t know what else I could be doing in the world.
On top of all of that, I had created a really successful career! I was travelling all over the world. I was doing all of the things that I had wanted to do. When you’re making the money and receiving the accolades, you can’t stop, right? You have to keep doing it. Right?
I didn’t think i could stop doing soemthing I was so successful at.
Even though I was miserable, exhausted. Even though my mind, body, and spirit were telling me to stop…
So, society’s narrative and my own inner turmoil kept me in a career I knew was no longer for me for about 2-3 years longer than was best for me. Eventually, I came to a point where I het a wall and had to make a hard decision.
And love, the day I gave myself permission to stop, to pivot, to even consider not doing this thing anymore was the day I felt I could breathe again.
Here is what I know to be true:
You know when something needs to end.
When it’s time to pivot, to shift, to change… our bodies know. Our intuition knows.
And although we try to logic our way out of this wisdom, it’s not something we need to avoid. Pivoting, stopping, and changing course isn’t failure, love. To me, it’s the ulitmate sign of success.
It means you are finally listening to yourself and honoring your inner knowing. It means you finally know what is important to you and you prioritize only the things that serve you.
So love, what are you afraid to let go of? Because you’ve poured so much of yourself into it.
What are you afraid to let go of because you are afraid what they are going to think?
What are you afraid to let go of because you don’t know what comes next?
Listen love, not finsihing what you started is not a waste of time. The people in your life that you think will judge you? They’ll get over it. And no matter what, you will figure it out.
It’s never too late.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll also love these episodes:
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116 | Knowing when to let go with Cyndie Spiegel
How do you know when something isn’t for you anymore? What do you do when it’s time to move on from the career, the dream, or the passion you always wanted? In this episode, I’m interviewing (yes, interviewing!) one of my favorite human beings - Cyndie Spiegel – who truly embodies what trusting your intuition and following your compass looks like when it’s time to shift and pivot in life.
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.