The #1 Manifestation Mistake | ep144
I used to think I was amazing at manifesting.
By my late 20s I was living the life of which I had once dreamed. I was a full time opera singer, living in NY, traveling the world doing what I loved most.
I was a master manifester, right? Well kinda… sorta.
What I was actually amazing at was willing my way into my dreams.
I knew how to work hard. I knew how to defy the odds. I knew how to prove everyone wrong. I knew how to get what I wanted.
It was all sheer will and less the universe having my back, you know what I mean?
Which meant that when I achieved my dream, I was usually exhausted. I couldn’t even enjoy what I had created.
And if I’m being honest, most of the time when I manifested my dreams they never lived up to my expectations. I was still unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and I was soon on to the next thing to manifest.
Does this sound familiar?
You see, many of us think we are amazing manifesters because we are able to create exactly what we desire, but it’s not so much that we are manifesting but that we are willing our way into our dreams.
And while we are realizing our dreams, we're not actually manifesting. Instead, we are just controlling, forcing, pushing our way into the lives we think we should be living.
Truth is, manifestation is actually more about allowing than willing.
It’s more about letting go than it is controlling.
It’s more about being open to than fixated on.
Manifestation is more flow and less force.
When you are truly manifesting, you end up creating the unimaginable. A life of which you could have never even dreamed. And when you get there, you're able to enjoy every last part of it.
That’s what allowing is all about. That's what manifestation truly is.
So how can we lean more into allowing and less into willing?
Here are some of my top tips:
1. Manifestation is all about the What, the Why, the How, and the When.
In order to manifest all you need to know is what you want and why you want it. The how and then when are up to the universe. When we are willing, we are trying to control every detail of the how and the when. But instead, when we allow, we are able to loosen the grip we have on our dreams and trust that it's going to come to us in its own way and on its own timeline.
2. What's your Why?
When focusing on your why be careful that you’re not pursuing this thing because you think it’s going to fix your life, make you more worthy/whole/valuable, or is something that you think should be pursuing. These whys don’t make us feel so inspired.
Find a why that is inspiring. And if the only whys you can come up with are uninspiring then it’s probably a hint that this isn’t truly the dream for you.
Ex: I want a house
Uninspiring why: Because everyone my age has one, I don’t feel like an adult, this will make me feel less like a mess
Inspiring why: Family gatherings, music playing, memories being made, a cozy corner to read my books, connection, love, community, home.
3. What's your what?
When focusing on your what get specific but not too specific. Hear me out here! Yes, I want you to have the partner of your dreams- tall, handsome, woke, all that good stuff. But sometimes we think we want qualities but what we’re really searching for is the feelings we believe those qualities will give us. As I always say, whenever we’re chasing a goal, we're actually chasing a feeling.
So for instance, maybe you want a partner who makes a certain income, so perhaps that income is more about security and stability than it is about a certain income bracket.
When it comes to your what, focus on the feelings. What it feels like to be with your partner. What it feels like to be at your dream job. What it feels like to be in your dream home.
That way we’re not limiting ourselves to what we believe is best for us and instead allowing the incredible to come to us.
Want to go deeper? Tune in to this week’s episode and try this week's journal prompts below.
Journal Prompts:
Try out the following prompts and see what comes up for you, love:
Think of 2-3 things that you now have that you always dreamed of (ie. home, partner, amazing hair... think small and large here). Now write down the HOW. Meaning, the path, the journey, the way these things came to be in your life.
As you reflect on the HOWs, ask yourself:
Was this how I imagined I would get this thing?
What surprised me about the journey or timeline?
What would I have told myself at the beginning of my journey towards this dream?
If you enjoyed this, enjoy the rest of the Manifestation series:
145 | How I Manifested Love
On the journey to manifesting my husband, I learned what it really means to manifest anything you truly desire in life. Use the lessons from my story to bring about anything you desire.
146 | Lucky Girl Syndrome
Let’s talk about the viral trend that’s taken over social media, what’s great about it, what it really is, and what you can do instead if its concept makes you feel a bit icky about manifestation.
147 | My 4 Manifestation Game-Changers
Learn the ideas and concepts that changed the game of manifestation for me and helped me to get out of my own way. This is for you if you feel stuck, confused, or want to understand manifestation in a better way.
Did you know that each podcast episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.