The most important relationship we have in our lives is the one we have with ourselves.

And, unfortunately, self love isn’t something that comes easily to so many of us. And when it comes to this community, I know that you are really good at loving other people.

You’re really good at showing and showering your love, giving away your love generously. You give it to people who deserve it. You give it to people who don’t deserve it.

Yet, that same love that we so easily and generously give to others, we struggle to reciprocate toward ourselves.

So, let’s take the focus away from romantic love and bring the focus back to ourselves. To where our love is needed the most.

What does self love mean?

Self love is often overshadowed by the grand gestures of romantic love. Yet, it is the most vital form of love that we can cultivate.

At its core, self love is the continual attempt to accept and embrace every single part of who you are. It’s recognizing that amidst the messiness and imperfections, we are worthy of our own love more than anyone else.

If we look at love, we see that it is both a feeling and a verb. It is a practice that requires action that’s rooted in care, respect, acceptance, and support toward ourselves.

However, the barriers to self love are multifaceted.

Why is self love so hard?

The truth is, societal norms, our upbringing, and our personal experiences and beliefs can create these barriers that stop us from feeling able to fully love ourselves.

We’re bombarded with messages that equate self love with selfishness, with ego. It creates this vicious cycle of doubt and self-criticism.

But, by challenging these false beliefs and norms, we can begin to dismantle the walls that try to block us from showing all our love to ourselves.

How do you start loving yourself?

You start to show yourself love by first defining what self love means to you.

When you show your love for others, what do you do? What action do you take?

For me, when I love someone, I listen to them.

I respect the. I try to understand them. I accept them for who they are and where they are at. I communicate with them. I support them fiercely.

I want you to take a moment and think of how you show your love to others. What are the things you do so easily and so willingly?

Then, ask yourself “Do I do these things for myself?”

There is a quote by Rumi that I love that says

Your task is not to seek for love but merely to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Your Self Love Practice Challenge

This week, I want you to write a love letter to yourself. Then, I want you to go out and buy yourself a beautiful Valentine’s card that truly speaks to you.

If you find that it’s hard to write that note from yourself, think of someone who really loves you and what they would write in that note.

I know this may sound silly, but I’m telling you, this is such a powerful practice.

I’ll leave you with another quote:

All I plead with you is this.
Make love of yourself perfect.

Tune into the podcast to hear the full episode — 184 | Self Love

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About your host, Shirin Eskandani