A better way to set goals (and achieve them) [Best of WHC] | ep176
How do you set and achieve goals? What is the best goal setting method out there for dreamers?
If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you’re in the right place. Part of being a dreamer is creating big ass goals. Goals that excite you and goals that scare you. But, what I often find is true is that we end up setting the wrong type of goals which leads us to not accomplishing the big things we dream of. And if you’ve ever felt like you lack follow through, or you procrastinate, or you just aren’t motivated enough to reach these goals, I want to introduce you to a game-changer goal implementation tool that will help you set your big goals and actually achieve them!
There are 2 things we forget when dreaming up our biggest, wildest goals
#1. Really big goals are made up of hundreds of smaller goals.
Let’s say your goal is to write a book. A big amazing wonderful goal, but inside that big beautiful goal are a lot of smaller goals like…
having a daily word count
contacting a book agent
contacting different publishers
Every big goal is made up of smaller goals. What ends up happening is we create our really big goal and forget that that big goal can and should be broken down into smaller goals
#2. We create goals for versions of ourselves that do not exist yet
Looking back at our book writing goal, let’s say you’ve decided to write 1,000 words every day. Awesome! That will get you to your goal of a writing a book in no time, right?
But, in this present day reality, you aren’t currently a person whose writing 1,000 words a day. So… 1,000 words a day is actually a pretty big leap.
Although this goal is in service of this goal, it does not serve who you are today, love. This is one of the most important aspects to setting goals and achieving them: being realistic about who you are right now.
In the world of self growth and personal development, it seems we have to completely ignore who we are right now when creating goals for who we want to be. But, instead of “fixing” things, this just further leads us down a road where we — once again — don’t accomplish something we said we were going to do.
How do we set goals and actually achieve them?
Here’s the key to setting goals that address these 2 important factors: Sweet Spot Goals.
Listen, I LOVE Sweet Spot Goals! Sweet Spot Goals are smaller goals that acknowledge, accept, and embrace the human you are right now who’s just trying to get to this big, amazing place.
At the beginning of each year, I see so many amazing clients creating big ass goals and listen, here at WHC, we love us some big ass goals. However, I also see what happens right after we create these goals. Fear sets in, doubt sets in. We begin to criticize who we are today and completely ignore ourselves by setting goals that can be easily achieved by some fictional, dream version of us.
That’s where Sweet Spot Goals come in. Let me show you what they look like.
I want you to think of a goal you have for this year.
Now, think of 1 thing you need to do in order to make that goal happen.
With that in mind, ask yourself these 2 questions:
What is my life like right now?
This question is extremely important. we all have demands on our time that are non-negotiable, obligations that we are committed to.
Who am I today?
Each of us has certain quirks, tendencies, or habits that are part of who we are in this present moment. Things like not being a morning person, not being punctual, or not being an extrovert.
When we set goals, we tend to ignore these parts of ourselves thinking we have to completely wipe the slate clean when new years comes around. We’re made to feel really bad about these parts of ourselves. But, what if instead of criticizing and trying to ignore these tendencies, we removed emotion and looked at them as simple data. Sorta like a scientist!
For example, I’m a morning person
I absolutely love getting up at 6AM and starting my day with a flexible routine where I choose what I do based on how I feel. But, no matter how early I love to wake up, I absolutely struggle with starting my workday early. I used to try and start at 9AM and would always run late to the first client session of my day.
That was until I stopped looking down on this aspect of myself and instead used it to determine how I could work.
Instead of pushing against it, I used it as data to develop my current routine: having my first meeting of the day at 11AM. I also built in blocks of 20-30 minutes throughout my day to give me space for dilly dallying. Listen, I accept that I am a master dilly dallier. Now that I’ve used this as data and have added it to the plan, I’ve created a life that works for me, for who I am. By doing this, I guarantee success because I know myself so well that I cannot fail.
Here’s what I love about Sweet Spot Goals
Sweet Spot Goals are a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-growth.
Self-awareness because you know yourself so well that you can’t fail.
Self-compassion because you’re not judging yourself for who you are and instead of judging who you are, you’re seeing your habits, your quirks, your tendencies as data.
Self-growth because you are still challenging yourself to get where you want to.
Our Sweet Spot Goals still challenge us to allow us to grow and become the person we want to be to achieve these big goals.
So, instead of waking up at 6AM, you wake up at 7AM. Instead of 1,000 words a day, you start with 500 words a day.
These type of goals push you but with an element of realism making these goals something you can do today. It’s in service of both your big, incredible goal and the amazing person that you are right now.
Sweet Spot Goals also help build your self-trust. When we start the year with big goals that we don’t follow through on, we end up not trusting ourselves. We don’t trust ourselves to do the things we say we’re going to do. But, through the power of Sweet Spot Goals, we actually begin to follow through on the things we want to do. Then, as you follow through on the goals you set for yourself, you start to build this ladder of self trust. You start to believe that you’re actually going to do the things you say you want to do. This allows you to create even bigger and bolder goals, love.
I want to share this quote with you:
Self trust is built by creating and following through on the promises you make to yourself.
Sweet Spot Goals are about making promises you know you can keep. I can tell you through experience, love, that the more Sweet Spot Goals you create, the more it’s going to change you.
You’ll start to regain your sense of self-trust and confidence in this entire process. You’ll start to create momentum on the dreams you may have avoided for too long. In the process, you may find that some of your habits and quirks may start to change as you get closer and closer to your big ass dreams.
Tune into this week’s podcast episode — 176 | A better way to set goals (and achieve them) [Best of WHC] — to hear the full behind-the-scenes look at an actual Wholehearted Coaching session.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll love the rest of this goals-focused series:
174 | Setting Goals for What You Really Want [Best of WHC] : It’s a new year, love! And you know what that means: a new set of goals to go after. It’s also a time where you may start to feel some guilt and shame around what you didn’t do last year. Maybe you’re wondering how to set goals and actually achieve them. Well, that’s exactly what we’re talking about today.
175 | The 1 Word that Keeps us from our Biggest Goals [Best of WHC]: What stops you from achieving your biggest goals? Today, we’re going to talk about the one word that stops us from achieving our goals. It’s the 1 word I no longer use when it comes to my biggest goals and my wildest dreams. Then, I’m going to show you the antidote to help you get back to those initial feelings to fuel your way so you can actually go after those big, wild dreams.
Did you know that each podcast episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.