Transforming Shame with Danielle R. Harris | ep215
For the month of December, we’re doing something truly special.
Each podcast episode this month will be hosted by one of our incredible Wholehearted Coaching Certification graduates, offering their unique perspectives and transformative insights.
This week, Coach Danielle R. Harris dives into a topic that resonates deeply with so many of us—shame and perfectionism. What happens when the very emotions that often hold us back are reframed as misunderstood allies?
Danielle’s unique perspective will challenge you to think differently about shame, how it shows up in your life, and how it may actually be pointing you toward your greatest potential. Her journey from being motivated by shame to embracing self-trust is one we can all learn from.
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My Journey with Shame and Perfectionism
Shame has been a constant companion in my life, for better and worse. It was the driving force behind my academic success, career milestones, and even the foundation of my own business. But it wasn’t until I hit a breaking point that I realized how much I needed to change my relationship with it. What once motivated me to achieve started holding me back from truly living and creating with intention.
Growing up in a hardworking family in suburban Detroit, the expectations were clear: work hard, achieve, and make the most of the opportunities given to you. For years, I operated under what I call the “shame system,” where shame and guilt propelled me to meet deadlines, ace exams, and climb the corporate ladder. On the surface, it worked. But beneath the accolades and accomplishments, I was running on fumes, disconnected from joy and self-trust.
Breaking the Shame Cycle in Entrepreneurship
When I transitioned into entrepreneurship, that old system failed me. There was no boss or parent to disappoint, no external deadlines to push me forward. It was just me—and for the first time, shame wasn’t strong enough to motivate me. I thought I was lazy or not cut out for the entrepreneurial life, but in reality, my inner critic and shame were desperately trying to protect me from failure in the only way they knew how.
Everything shifted when I learned to approach these emotions differently. Inspired by Shirin’s teachings, I began to view shame not as an enemy, but as a distorted form of support. I started asking it questions instead of avoiding it: “What are you trying to tell me? What do you want me to know?” To my surprise, shame revealed that it believed in me all along. It just had an outdated way of showing it.
Transforming Shame into Self-Trust
This realization didn’t just change my mindset; it transformed how I work and live. I stopped seeing my inner critic as a saboteur and started seeing it as a misunderstood ally. By giving it space to speak and reframing its intentions, I unlocked a new level of self-awareness and self-compassion. Now, I use this same approach to help my clients move beyond fear and perfectionism so they can create authentically and sustainably.
If you’re someone who feels stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, procrastination, or people-pleasing, I encourage you to start a conversation with your inner critic. Write down its thoughts, ask what it’s trying to protect you from, and listen with patience. You might just find that the voice you’ve been fighting against has been rooting for you all along.
Connect with Danielle R. Harris
Thank you for walking this journey with me today. Remember, shame isn’t your enemy; it’s a sign that you care deeply and believe in yourself. Embracing and reframing these feelings is a process, but it can lead you to greater self-trust and confidence.
If you’d like to connect, you can find me at:
Instagram: @danielle.r.harris
Podcast: drharrisconsulting.com/podcast
Email List: drharrisconsulting.com/story
Cheers to breaking old cycles, embracing growth, and stepping boldly into your potential! You’ve got this—we’ve got this.
With love,
Danielle
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.