What to do When your Goals feel Scary | ep219
What to Do When Your Goals Feel Scary
When we set goals, it's natural to feel excited and motivated, imagining the life we want to create. But what happens when that initial excitement fades and fear starts to creep in? Fear often disguises itself as procrastination, self-doubt, or even perfectionism, leaving us feeling stuck and questioning our abilities.
Here’s the truth: fear is a natural part of pursuing your dreams. In fact, the bigger your goal, the more fear you might feel. But instead of letting fear hold you back, what if you learned to work with it?
In this blog post, we’ll explore how to navigate fear when it shows up, recognize it as a sign you’re moving in the right direction, and take actionable steps toward your goals.
Before we dive in - are you ready to Manifest Your Best Year? ✨
This year, let’s do things differently.
Join me for Manifest 2025, a live masterclass on February 2nd that’s designed to equip you with the tools you need to overcome challenges, stay grounded, and take aligned action toward your dreams.
With live coaching, a guided workbook, and a replay included, you’ll have everything you need to make 2025 the year everything changes. Plus, I’m offering sliding scale pricing to ensure accessibility for everyone.
Let’s manifest your best year together—are you ready?
Why Fear Shows Up with Big Goals
Fear isn’t the enemy—it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you. When you pursue something meaningful, fear often arises as a coping mechanism to shield you from potential failure, rejection, or disappointment.
Common ways fear manifests:
Procrastination: Delaying action because you’re scared of what might happen.
Self-Doubt: Questioning your abilities or worthiness to achieve your goals.
Perfectionism: Trying to control everything to avoid failure.
These aren’t character flaws—they’re symptoms of fear. Recognizing this is the first step in breaking free from its grip.
Check out "How to Overcome Procrastination This Year" for tips to break free from what’s holding you back.
The Two Types of Fear: Real vs. Perceived
To better navigate fear, it’s important to identify whether it’s real or perceived:
Real Fear: Your intuition warning you of actual danger, like a harmful situation.
Perceived Fear: Anxiety tied to stepping outside your comfort zone, often triggered by pursuing your dreams.
When fear shows up, ask yourself:
“Is my life or safety in danger?”
“Is this fear protecting me, or is it keeping me stuck?”
Most fears related to goals are perceived fears. They aren’t warnings to stop but rather invitations to grow.
How to Navigate Fear and Move Forward
Instead of running from fear, try this 5-step process:
1. Recognize Your Fear
Start by identifying how fear shows up for you. Ask yourself:
What thoughts or beliefs am I having right now?
How does my body feel when I’m scared?
Understanding your symptoms of fear—like overthinking or feeling paralyzed—helps you spot it when it arises.
2. Name Your Fear
Acknowledge fear for what it is: a protective response. Instead of judging yourself, say, “This is fear trying to keep me safe.”
3. Invite Your Fear in for Tea
Borrowing wisdom from Buddhist teachings, treat fear as a guest rather than an intruder. Ask it:
“What are you worried about?”
“What are you trying to protect me from?”
Listen to your fear with compassion. Often, it’s afraid of failure, embarrassment, or disappointment.
4. Reassure Your Fear
Once you understand what fear is trying to protect you from, offer it reassurance:
“I know this is scary, but I’ve got this.”
“Even if it doesn’t work out, I’ll figure it out.”
This shifts your relationship with fear from resistance to trust.
5. Take a Small Step
Fear won’t completely disappear, but you can take action despite it. Start small—a single email, phone call, or task—and build momentum. Each step will reinforce your confidence.
Reframing Fear as a Sign of Growth
The next time fear arises, remember this: Fear is a sign you’re growing. It often shows up when you’re on the brink of something incredible.
As author Pema Chödrön said:
“We think brave people have no fear. The truth is that they are intimate with fear.”
Being brave doesn’t mean being fearless. It means recognizing fear and moving forward anyway.
Practical Tools to Navigate Fear
Mantras for Fear: Repeat affirmations like “Fear is my teacher” or “I am safe to take this step.”
Grounding Practices: Take deep breaths, journal your fears, or meditate to calm your nervous system.
Ask for Support: Share your fears with a trusted friend, coach, or mentor who can help you gain perspective.
Final Thoughts: Your Dreams Are Worth It
Fear doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path—it often means you’re on the right one. The things we deeply desire often feel the scariest because they matter so much to us.
So when fear shows up, don’t let it stop you. Recognize it, honor it, and take one brave step forward. Your dreams are waiting.
Ready to Manifest Your Goals?
If you want to learn practical tools to manifest your best year yet, join my live workshop on February 2. We’ll explore how to work through fear, overcome common manifestation barriers, and create a life you love—without toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing.
👉 Learn more and sign up here
You’ve got this, love. 💖
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our precious baby girl
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.