The Beauty and Difficulty of Taking Your Time | ep55
About this episode:
Can I be honest with you? For the last few months, I haven’t wanted to do anything at all. Something inside me has been telling me to rest and slow down. It’s been telling me to hold off on making plans and goals and to just wait. It was a feeling that set in at the end of last year that turned into a strong knowing by the beginning of this one. And while I know this voice is right and that I need to heed its advice, If I’m being honest, listening to it is the most difficult and terrifying thing to do.
I don’t want to rest.
I don’t want to wait.
I don’t want to take my time.
Because if I'm resting that means I’m falling behind, it means I’m being lazy. It means that I'm aimless and lost.
The last few months have shown me how much resistance I have towards rest. I don’t trust it. It’s also shown me what a complicated relationship I have with it. Because if I dig deep, I believe that I have to work for and earn my rest. And what’s more, I believe that I can’t simply rest for rest’s sake. I believe that my rest must have a purpose or a goal.
I manipulate and use rest to be more productive, more creative, and more successful. Which aren’t terrible things per se, but that means I’m putting a lot of pressure on rest. So even though I am trying to heed my inner wisdom and rest, it feels anything but restful because I keep pushing against. I keep thinking that my rest is supposed to have some greater purpose.
But I know that I am meant to rest right now. Simply rest.
Not because I deserve it or that it’s going to serve some greater purpose. But because I want to rest. I need to rest. I am meant to rest.
We’re 3 weeks from the spring equinox today, and if we look outside our windows we see the significance of rest. For the last 4 months we have seen nature shed its leaves, flowers and bounty and rest. Mother Nature knows that rest is an integral part of being. She knows that all things need rest.
A tree doesn’t have to earn its rest, it is meant to rest.
A flower doesn’t have to rest because it wants to look even more beautiful next spring. It rests because it is meant to rest.
And you, my love, you are meant to rest because you are.
I am meant to rest because I am.
This week, I encourage you to take a closer look at your relationship with rest. To get a head start, listen to this episode below where I talk more about our resistance against rest and what kind of expectations we put on it. I also get vulnerable and talk about how I struggle with resting because I am in this with you, love.
A quote to take with you:
“A flower doesn’t have to rest because it wants to look even more beautiful next spring. It rests because it is meant to rest. And you, my love, you are meant to rest because you are.”
This week, I invite you to…
Ask yourself:
Rest means…
In my household, resting was…
Want to dive deeper through the full journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to trust your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life and you have come to the right place. Let's create your dream life while living your dream life. Okay love. Hi love. Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at wholehearted coaching or you can get the full post plus journal prompts. When you sign up for my email list, you can do that in the show notes or head to wholehearted dash coaching Comm. So today's episode is one of those where I'm being very honest and open and vulnerable. It's me working with you to process a topic, a topic that I'm still kind of grappling with still kind of working my way through. So in today's episode, this is me a new processing, having realizations together Love, we're going to be talking about rest today about taking our time about not planning and not doing. And this is something that over the last few months I've really been struggling with. And it's interesting because I have been struggling with it. I've been thinking a lot about it. But I think collectively, that we all are kind of kind of coming to terms with perhaps our really complex relationship with resting with ease with taking our time. I know this because in a lot of my client calls one on one calls, we've been talking about this idea of resting and how we don't trust rest. In my group coaching programs, this theme of you know, I feel like I'm meant to be doing stuff. And if I'm not doing stuff I'm falling behind has been coming up so often. So I don't know, that's a sign for me that as a collective. We need to talk about this to talk about rest and our relationship with it. So I want you to know that in this episode, I am processing I am working through this with you. But I'm so excited to talk about this topic because rest is such an integral part of our being of who we are, and becoming more comfortable with it trusting it more, I think is going to transform our lives. Before we get into this week's Mindset Monday, though, y'all. We just celebrated our one year anniversary with the podcast. I meant to do a one year episode. But y'all It's me, I completely forgot to look at the calendar. But on February 18, we reached our one year podcast anniversary. First of all, I want to thank you for being here, thank you for taking this journey with me. If you are an odd listener or a new listener, I don't care. Thank you. Thank you, thank you for being here. The second thing that I want to ask of you to celebrate with me is to leave a comment wherever you listen to this podcast, whether it's iTunes or Spotify, although I don't think you can on Spotify. So this may just be iTunes, but leave a comment and review the podcast. Give it you know a rating. This means so much to me. Because the way that this podcast the way that different podcast platforms recommend podcast to other people is based on reviews. It's based on the ratings. And so the more love that you show and give to this podcast, that means that this podcast will reach an even bigger audience have an even bigger impact, which is why I created this thing in the first place. I can't tell you what a joy it has been to connect with you over this past year to reach you in your homes, on your walks on your commutes. I can't that's that's so special to me. And I really feel like this podcast is a conversation, me and you talking about this stuff together. And so thank you for being here. And I really would love for others to be here as well to be listening to this. So if you could leave a review, leave a rating of this podcast that would mean so much to me on this one year anniversary of a whole hearted coaching the podcast. Alright, so now let's get into this week's Mindset Monday. It reads, normalize taking your time. normalize doing less, normalize not having a plan. Not every moment of your life is meant for plans productivity and hustle. Some moments are meant for nothing at all. That's when we're planting the seeds love. That's when we're waiting to see what grows. So I'm going to be really honest with you, but 2020 ended, we rolled into 2021. And there was a deep knowing wisdom feeling inside me, that was saying, Sharon, don't do anything, do not make a plan, do not make any goals, you are just meant to rest. And, you know, if you've been part of this community for a while, you know that I believe that our bodies, that our intuition, have a greater wisdom for us. So hearing this the sign right, the signs telling me, Sharon don't do anything. I knew that, okay, I am meant to heed this sign to really rest to not make any plans. But let me tell you, y'all, it has been so incredibly difficult, especially during, you know, January and February, which is that traditional time where so many people are making goals and projections and quarterly plans. And here I have this like inner wisdom being like, oh, Sharon, you should just wait. Every part of my being has been trying to fight against this inner wisdom. I want to make plans, I want to make goals, I want to do things I want to be productive. But I also know that that could work against me. I want you to hear me out. So often, we are rushing to make goals. Because we're so afraid of not having a plan. Right? We're afraid that if we don't have a plan, we are aimless, we are lost, that we are going to fall behind. And so we create these goals, because that's what society tells us to do. These quarterly plans and we follow them through we follow them through because I know you're part of this community. We are hard workers, we are people who when we say we're going to do something, man, we are going to try our best to do it. And so we reach these goals, and we're like, wait, I should have just taken my time. This wasn't what I really wanted. You know, I haven't had a lot of experiences in wholehearted coaching with this. But I see it happen from time to time, where I get caught up in the rush of this entrepreneurial coaching world where I feel like I need to be putting out a product or doing a thing, or having a challenge or whatever it is having a podcast, not that this podcast, I totally don't regret it. I love that I have it. But I see where sometimes I'm like looking around me and being like, Oh my gosh, everyone is doing everyone is goaling everyone is achieving and so I need to create something. But sometimes we end up creating something that really wasn't meant for us. And it could be a current totally successful thing, right? You could make a lot of money. Or you could have a lot of people on board with you whatever success looks like for you. But because we didn't take our time, because we didn't wait And listen, we end up creating something that maybe wasn't meant for us. And now we're kind of committed to this thing. That is, you know, isn't fulfilling, that is sucking our energy. That really isn't the thing that we thought it was going to be. And had we taken some time. Had we rested? Had we waited for the ideas to kind of slowly grow. Maybe the goals would have been different. I want to talk a little bit about Channing Nicholas because I love me some Chani. But whenever I think about this idea of taking your time, I think of channy. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with Shani Nicholas. She's an incredible astrologer. She has been doing her work for quite some time. And I have one been one of the OG followers of Chani, like on her email list. When I think she used to do weekly astrological emails, like it was just such a when I think about it now I'm like, Whoa, that is such an immense amount of free work to do for your community. Right, a weekly astrological reading, it may have been monthly, but even the monthly I mean, if you follow Chani, you know that her readings are really in depth. They're really beautiful. They're very intimate. So the is really a labor of love for her. Chani now, is huge. She has her own app. She has a podcast. She is a book she is you know connected with amazing people all success that I am so incredibly happy for her that she totally deserves. But y'all Chani took her time. I mean, Chani, the app has been years and years in the making Chani The book has been years and years in the making. And it all feels so aligned for her, it feels so right for her. It feels so authentic to who she is. You know, we can rush into creating an app, we can rush into creating writing a book. But the beauty is in the time, the wisdom, the insight, the alignment is in the taking of our time. We live in a society right now that, unfortunately, is all about how short we can do things right how, you know, I'm a success in one year, I'm making seven figures in two years or 30, under 3040, under 40, like less time, more success, but the beauty is in taking the time. So I think one of the reasons why right now I am being called to take some time is I have this seed inside me something that I want to grow for wholehearted coaching. I don't know exactly what it is yet. But it's something that I want to offer all of you. And I really want to take my time creating it. You know, I could just you know, tomorrow I could create something and be like, this is the thing. Join me and I have the most amazing community, y'all trust me, y'all. Y'all are the best. And I and I know that it could be a success. I know that. But this is something special. I don't know what it is yet, y'all I'm telling you this. And I have no idea what this thing is. But it is something so special. And my wisdom, my intuition knows that I need to just take my time. But I want to talk about the part of me that does not want to take time that doesn't want to rest that doesn't want to wait that wants to produce. This part of me believes that if I rest, I'm going to fall behind. If I take my time, I'm going to fall behind everyone's going to get ahead, I'm going to miss my opportunity. It believes that if I'm not planning that I'm aimless and lost, I'm lazy, I'm directionless. And I want you to think as I am saying this, right? Because we all have these moments, you may not be in this moment right now. But I know that at some point in your life, you probably have been and that at some point in your life, you will with 100% certainty, you will. And I want you to start thinking about your relationship with planning and doing right. People who aren't achieving goals are people who are not planning are if I don't have a plan, I am if I take my time, I am if I wait, I am and just see what comes up for you as you think of these things. Some of them may be really you know, positive, like if I take my time, I am wise. But maybe also if I take my time I'm falling behind. Right really being honest with yourself what is coming up because we have to understand what our relationship is. Because once we understand what the relationship is, we can figure out where we have the resistance. Because when I really think about these ideas, I realize I have so much resistance around rest because I don't trust it. I feel like rest is going to take me down some path where I no longer do the things that are important to me right I won't have enough income to you know, have the lifestyle that I want I won't be able to have the impact that I want in the world. And so yeah, those are some really compelling reasons to not rest to not take my time to not plan you know, we talk about rest often and and I literally have a podcast episode about this. So I am guilty of this right that rest is something and taking our time or waiting. These things are things that we have to earn. Right We have to work for earn our rest Right, we don't believe that we can just simply rest for rest sake that if our body is telling us to rest, that our wisdom is telling us to rest, that's not compelling enough a reason, right? But not only that, what I'm also realizing is that we think that our rest has to have a purpose, or a goal. I want you to, I want you to go on this trajectory with me, because this was a big aha moment for me. Right? we manipulate and use rest, to become more productive, more creative, more successful. Which Listen, that's not a bad thing. Again, I have a podcast episode about how rest makes us more productive. And that is okay. But we have to understand the purpose, the weight that we're putting on rest. Because for instance, right now, my what is to rest, right, my what is to rest, but the Why is really important. We talked about this in the podcast often, why do you want the things that you want? Why do I want to rest, and if I dipped down really deep, my Why is I want to rest. So I can come up with the best idea ever. And I'm going to be super productive. And I'm going to be super creative, which is like, which is putting a lot of pressure on rest. Right. So even though right now I'm trying to heat this inner wisdom to rest to take my time, he doesn't feel very restful, because I'm pushing against it, right? So I'm pushing against it because of, you know, my relationship with rest and pushing against it. Because I think I need to earn it, I need to work for it and pushing against it, because I feel like I'm gonna fall behind. But I'm also putting a lot of pressure on my rest. I think that my rest is supposed to serve this really greater purpose. And so this rest right now, y'all, it feels anything but restful. So one thing that is grounding me, as I think of all of this, is when I look out my window, I always look to nature, when I'm feeling kind of lost, because Mother Nature has been doing her thing for a long time. So her systems and processes to use some business terms are pretty great, right? Like she's doing a pretty job, pretty great job. And if anything, us humans are kind of ruining those systems and processes, but that's like a whole different podcast episode. But I look to Mother Nature because I'm like, Okay, okay, ma'am, you figured this out. So right now, if you're listening to this podcast live, okay, which is around February, March, whatever that is. If you look out your window, what do you see? You see a whole lot of nothing. Right? The trees have let go of their leaves. The flowers aren't blossoming and blooming. You know, if you have a vegetable garden in your backyard, there's no bounty there, right? There's there's no fruit or vegetables. Nature knows that it needs to rest. It needs to shut its leaves, it needs to let go of its bounty. It needs to just rest. It's an integral part of its being. And what's more important, you know, I could also say yes, because it needs to rest so it can grow. But yes, but also a tree. You know, it doesn't have to earn its rest. It's just meant to rest. It's part of its DNA. It's literally hardwired into its DNA to rest. A flower doesn't have to rest doesn't have to let go of it's in a blossom or bloom because it wants to look even more beautiful next spring. No it rests because it is meant to rest. And you My love, you are meant to rest because you are meant to rest because you are. We are all meant to rest. I want to end this podcast episode with a quote from Trisha Hirsi, whose Instagram page the nap ministry has been such an awakening for me and I really recommend you follow her. But she writes, rest is a healing portal. Rest is a spiritual practice. rest his soul care and deep connection to our ancestors. It's a space of retreat for a body searching for liberation. Rest is a meticulous love, practice. Rest, love, you deserve rest. Because you are. You're not used to earn your rest. You rest doesn't need to have some greater goal. You can just rest. Just like when we look outside our windows and we see it in nature. We are part of that natural world. It is in our DNA. It is part of our being. It is who we are. We are meant to rest. Until next week, I will talk to you then. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this week's episode, please share it with a friend. comment and rate this podcast until next week. See you later love