Leveling up for your Dreams | ep84
Today’s Mindset Monday reads:
Our biggest dreams hold our biggest fears. That’s why it feels so terrifying whenever we reach a goal. It’s not because we’re not ready for it or that it’s not meant for us. It’s because realizing this goal means we now need to tend to deeper wounds. It’s because we now need to embrace different challenges, circumstances and responsibilities. It’s because we now need to evolve into the next iteration of who we are.
Let’s get into it, love. The absolute fear of getting exactly what you want.
We spend so long focusing on how scary it is to reach our goals that I think we often forget to discuss how scary it is to actually reach our goals.
Honestly, there’s nothing like a dream coming true to make you question everything about yourself.
About a month ago someone whom I greatly admire within the wellness world started to follow my Instagram.
This is someone whom I have looked up to for years and to be honest, idolize. I read all her posts, listen to all her podcast episodes, and have always dreamed of being featured on it.
I, at first, figured it was her social media team following me. But no, it appeared to be her.
She started to like my posts. We started to send DMs to one another. And then, one day, she asked if I would like to be featured on her podcast.
WHO? ME? LITTLE OL’ ME? SAY WHAT?
That was the response in my head. I instantly said yes. I was in a state of total joy. I mean this is what I had been dreaming of for years. My literal dream had come true and in such an effortless and easy way.
And about a minute after agreeing to be on her podcast the fear started to creep up on me. And that’s when the voices appeared:
“What are you going to talk about?”
“You’re not smart enough”
“You are not on the same level as her”
“You’re going to make a total fool of yourself.”
Here’s the thing:
There will be moments in our life where we get exactly what we want, and it will scare the crap out of us.
And that does not mean that the thing is not meant for us.
It does not mean we manifested the wrong thing.
It does not mean that we picked the wrong desire.
It just means that our dreams require more of us.
They require more healing, more compassion, more patience, more grace, more kindness. We’re often told that we need to “Level Up” when we reach our goals- meaning to be more, do more, learn more. And to me, leveling up has less to do with what you’re doing externally but more do with what’s going on internally.
Leveling up is about going even deeper within, love.
This incredible opportunity was an invitation for me to do some deeper healing. It was an invitation for me to see why I believed those things about myself and to tend to those wounds.
It was an invitation for me to evolve into the person that I am becoming and to step towards the future that I am manifesting. It was invitation for me to “Level Up”
I have now come to understand that whenever I feel fear it means that I am closer to my dreams. Closer to where I want to be.
Today I welcome the fear. Before, during and after my dreams. It’s always a sign that I’m on the right path.
So, love. What would leveling up look like for you this week?
A quote to take with you:
“Our dreams require more of us, but they require not just more doing, but more compassion, more patients, more grace, more kindness.”
Want to dive deeper through journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to trust your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
[00:00:00] Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life. When you have come to the right place, let's create your dream life while living your dream life. Okay, love.
[00:00:21] Hi love. Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my mindset Monday. Which you can read on Instagram at wholehearted coaching, or you can get the full post plus my weekly journal prompts. When you sign up for my email list, you can do that in the show notes, or you can head to my website, whole hearted-coaching.com.
[00:00:45] So if you are listening to this podcast episode, You are listening to this episode on Halloween week. Y'all I love me some Halloween. So I knew that I wanted this episode to have to do with a theme around fear, scary things. And I kept thinking, what am I going to talk about? And the idea came to me in a very real life circumstance, which I'm going to get all into in this episode.
[00:01:13] So today's episode is about fear and our dreams, but we spend so much time talking about the fear of going after our dreams. And I don't think we spend enough time talking about the fear when we get our dreams, right. That like exciting terror that we all experience when that thing that you wanted actually happened.
[00:01:41] And we're also going to talk about this idea of leveling up, you know, when they often say, well, now you got this like big dream. This big goal has got to level up, and we're going to talk about what that actually means and what that actually looks like, because I don't think leveling up has a lot to do with what you're doing on the outside.
[00:02:02] And it has a lot more to do with what's going on inside. So let's get into this week's spooky mindset Monday. Oh my gosh. I'm going to keep that in. I'm definitely keeping that spooky in, but I really hope you appreciate it that, okay. So today's mindset Monday reads our biggest dreams. Hold our biggest fear.
[00:02:26] That's why it feels so terrifying whenever we reach a goal, it's not because we're not ready for it or that it's not meant for us. It's because realizing the school, it means we now need to tend to deeper wounds it's because we now need to embrace different challenges, circumstances, and responsibilities.
[00:02:45] It's because we now need to evolve into the next iteration of who we are. So this week, a dream of mine came true. And actually not just this week, but an hour ago. So there is a person in the wellness world whom I love and adore. She is a coach and I've been following her for years. And really she is an idol of mine.
[00:03:10] I really consider her this like beacon of light. And I look up to her in so many ways. And a couple of months ago, she started to follow me on Insta. Which was like, what is happening here? And I just chalked it up to, you know, it's probably her social media team. It's not really her following me. She doesn't have time for little old me.
[00:03:31] And then this account, this person started to like my posts and they started to send me DMS about my posts. And I was like, wait a second. I actually think this person is actually this person. And then all of a sudden, one day. They re posted one of my posts and I went in the DMS and I said, oh my gosh, thank you.
[00:03:56] This is just such an honor that you have shared something that I wrote. And she said, you know, I've been really enjoying your content. And I would love to have you on my podcast. Okay. Also, I have been listening to this woman's podcast from day one day, one of my healing journey, years and years ago. She to me was like this resource.
[00:04:23] And perhaps this podcast is the same thing for you, right? Where I would put her in my ears. I'd go for my walk. I'd feel lost in the world, lost with what I was doing. I would just listen. I would just listen to her. And it was like listening to a wise friend and it filled me with so much insight and so much comfort to listen to her week after week.
[00:04:50] And after a while, I started to think, oh my gosh, wouldn't that be so cool if I was featured on this podcast, wouldn't it be so cool if she interviewed me and it was like this thought, this dream that I had, and I tucked it away in my heart. And then all of a sudden here in the DMS, this woman, this superstar in my eyes is asking me to be on her podcast.
[00:05:17] And of course I said, But it was like this holy crap. Yes. This holy crap. NUS of one. This is a literal dream coming true too. Holy crap. This is amazing. And also three, holy crap. What are you going to talk about? You see all that joy was there, all that excitement was there, but there was also absolute terrible.
[00:05:48] And fear. And I started to become aware of the thoughts that I was having thoughts. Like you're not smart enough to have a conversation with this person. You're not on the same level as her. You're going to make a total fool of yourself. And these thoughts, these beliefs are really deep wounds of mine.
[00:06:13] And this is what happens when our dreams come true. Is that our wounds, those deep wounds become activated. It's almost like the dream picks off some of the scab that's there, you know, when you have a scab and you're not supposed to pick it off, but I love to pick off my scabs. Okay. But when you pick it off, it actually becomes smaller right there.
[00:06:36] Like that wounded area becomes small. And I feel like that's the same thing in these moments with our dreams, that our dreams are kind of rubbing against those wounds, those scabs, and the wound becomes raw and we can either ignore it. Or we contend to it in a more kind and loving and compassionate way.
[00:07:04] This is what I think leveling up is. Right. A lot of people would say, oh, your dream came true. So now you got to level up, you got to do more. You gotta be more, you gotta work harder. And I don't think that's actually what leveling up is leveling up is actually going deeper within, because love your dreams are going to come true.
[00:07:27] And I know that you have had so many of your dreams come true and you have been in the same exact position where I have been, where it comes true. And all of a sudden these thoughts, these voices, this fear appears, and it's asking you that moment is asking you, it is an invitation for you. To heal something even deeper to go even further in your healing journey and your self-awareness journey.
[00:07:57] That is what I think leveling up actually is yes, our dreams require more of us, but they require not just more doing, but more compassion, more patients, more grace, more kindness. So in that moment, as I was having these thoughts, I paused, I became really aware of them and I realized it was an invitation.
[00:08:23] It was an invitation for me to do deeper healing. It was an invitation for me to understand why I was thinking the way I was thinking, where that was coming from. These parts of me who still. I'm not good enough. These parts of me that still think, I can't just show up as myself to every space. I find myself in these parts of me that still feel I need to prove myself.
[00:08:51] And so in that moment, I placed a hand on my heart and I just said, love. I said to myself, I understand that this is scary. This is asking to you to do something that feels really, really scary and unfamiliar to you. But I promise I'll take care of you. I promise we are enough that we are worthy and that we can show up just as we are.
[00:09:19] And you know what love that allowed me to level up. I didn't have to go read some more books. I didn't have to go and become more smart or more knowledgeable. No. I was asked to be on that podcast because this person liked me for exactly who I am and exactly how I show up. And that is exactly how I was meant to show up. [00:09:42] So really for me, it was about going deeper and seeing what was I believing? What was I thinking and allowing myself to really tend to those wounds. You know, sometimes we have these thoughts, right? Let's scare us when our dreams come true. And we think, oh my gosh, this must mean that I'm not ready for this or that.
[00:10:03] I, that I dreamed up the wrong thing that this isn't meant for me. And that can't be further from the truth. Our biggest dreams also hold our biggest fears. I have now come to understand that whenever I feel fear, it means that I'm closer to my dreams. It's closer to where I want to be today. I welcome the fear.
[00:10:27] Of course, at the beginning, I don't welcome it. I'm like Lupe. Nope. I don't want you to be here. No, thank you. But I know that when the fear appears, it's an invitation to do some deeper healing and that deeper healing allows me to evolve into the next iteration of who I am to truly quote, unquote level.
[00:10:46] Fear is always a sign that I'm on the right path. And fear is an invitation for me to become a more fully realized, fully aware, even more healed version of who I am today. You know, our dreams. There's nothing like our dreams to make us feel like we are not enough. There's nothing like a dream to make you question everything about yourself.
[00:11:14] Let's be honest, our dreams intimidate us in the, before the, during and the after. So love. If you find yourself in this place of your dream coming true and having this fear, pop-up having these thoughts that make you question yourself, pop up first. I want you to know that that is not a sign that this is not meant for you or that you achieve the wrong thing.
[00:11:38] So, first thing let go of that belief. Now, the second. And I'm going to call this the leveling up protocol, the level up protocol. This is how we level up. So first I want you to ask yourself, what am I believing in this moment? What are the thoughts? The beliefs that are coming up for you for me, right? It was things like, I'm not smart enough.
[00:12:02] I'm not good enough. I don't deserve this. So what am I believing in this moment? My second question is. Where do I need to heal? What do I need to tend to, which really is that self-awareness that deep going deep and offering ourselves kindness and compassion and grace and understanding, right. Not trying to go past it, ignore it, judge it, but really tending to those wounds.
[00:12:33] So it's like, what can I tend to, what do I need to tend to. The third question is asking yourself, okay, now that this dream is happening now that it is here, what are the challenges, circumstances, and responsibilities that I now need to embrace that I now need to welcome in my life. There's a great episode for this one that will help with this.
[00:13:03] And it is episode 61, the fear of getting exactly what you want. Actually that episode will work really well with this one in tandem, but that's a great episode to listen to when it's about. Okay. So what are the new responsibilities I have? What are the new circumstances and the new challenges that are now in my life as a result of this dream coming true and really getting clear on what those things are for you.
[00:13:32] And now asking yourself this dream coming true. How is it taking me closer to my other dreams? How is this taking me closer to the life that I dream of? How is this taking me closer to how I want to feel and how I want to show up in the world? So really getting clear on how this beautiful dream coming true is like this chain reaction, right?
[00:13:59] That's taking you towards. These other things and these other possibilities. So having that context, that perspective for yourself. And now the final question is take a moment to think of your former self who dreamed of this. Take a moment to think of them and really honor them and really celebrate this moment with them.
[00:14:25] I truly believe that this is what leveling up is. It's having the perspective and the context of where you are in your life past, present, and future, it's the ability to go inward and heal these parts of you that are asking to be healed that cannot ask to be healed until we get to this moment. Right. I always think I'm like, oh great.
[00:14:48] I've healed this thing. And. A bigger dream comes along and I get there and I'm like, oh gosh, okay. We can go deeper. It seems. But every time I allow myself to tend to that wound, this newer iteration of me appears. And that is what leveling up truly is in my eyes. So love. I know you have a dream in your heart.
[00:15:14] That's about to come true. And when it does. And when you feel that fear, when you feel that terror come back to this episode, who listened to it again and try these questions out until next week, love, I will talk to you then. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this week's episode, please share it with a friend comment and rate this podcast until next week.
[00:15:43] See you later. Love.