The key to reaching your dreams | ep95
Today’s Mindset Monday reads:
If you keep focusing on step 100, you'll never take the first step. It's the small steps that allow for the big leaps love.
Tired of talking yourself out of your dreams? Listen to this episode to find out why you get so overwhelmed by your goals and how you can start to follow through on even your biggest desires.
A quote to take with you:
“You can’t reverse engineer something you’ve never done. You can’t draw a map to a place you have never been.”
In the spirit of the season, I’m gifting you Your Best Year, a FREE week-long workshop starting January 16 that’s all about creating an intentional, deliberate, soul-aligned 2022. If you’re ready to receive, head here to join: wholehearted-coaching.com/bestyear
Did you know that each episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to trust your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
[00:00:00] Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life than you have come to the right place. I'm your host, coach and life alchemists, Shirin Eskandani. And I have worked with thousands of women showing them how to create their dream. While living their dream lives.
[00:00:24] This podcast is where mindset, mindfulness and manifestation meet together. We're going to release limiting beliefs, put your dreams into motion all the while. Prioritizing your ease, rest and joy. Let's do this love.
[00:00:41] Hi love. Welcome to Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at @wholeheartedcoaching. Or if you want to go even deeper into this week's episode and get my free weekly journal prompts, sign up for my email list and you'll be able to explore the topics we're talking about in this episode.
[00:01:06] Even further, you can do that in the show notes or by heading to my web. wholehearted-coaching.com. And if you're interested in working with me, whether that's one-on-one in one of my group programs or one of my transformational courses, you can head to my website, wholehearted-coaching.com/offerings to find out more.
[00:01:29] And of course you can also head to the show notes and all of this information will be waiting for you there. All right.
[00:01:36] Today's episode is for anyone who is tired of not following through on their dreams. It's for anyone who has talked themselves out of what they want to do, time and time again, it's for anyone who has ever felt so incredibly overwhelmed by their dreams, they keep putting it off.
[00:01:58] Y'all now, I don't want to say that this episode is going to solve everything, but this episode is going to help so much with unlocking your motivation, to do the things that you truly want to do this month. I'm focusing a little bit on goals because I know that this is a time of year in which we traditionally set goals for ourselves.
[00:02:21] And while I love goal setting, I think we often set ourselves up to fail and it's not that we're failing it's that our current goal making system is really failing us. So last week we talked about one of my favorite way of creating goals, sweet spot goals. And today we're going to be talking about one of the biggest reasons we talk ourselves out of our goals and how to get over that.
[00:02:50] If you want to spend an entire week with me for free working on how to create goals for the new year, how to expand into the new year, how to envision your best year, when you can sign up for my free week long masterclass called Your Best Year, you can do that in the show. Or you can head to wholehearted-coaching.com/bestyear in this free week, long masterclass.
[00:03:21] You and me love. We are going to learn how to expand into 2022 in a way that is centered in what we truly want. We're going to let go of 2021 by learning about self-compassion. Self-forgiveness. And then we're going to learn how to create some incredible, delicious, wonderful heart aligned goals for the new year goals that you can't help, but follow through on love because you are doing it all the whole hearted way.
[00:03:55] So if you want to join me for this again, free week long masterclass called your best. Then head to the show notes or wholehearted-coaching.com/bestyear. All right. Let's get into this week's episode because I have a feeling that this episode is going to change so much for you. This week's mindset Monday reads.
[00:04:23] If you keep focusing on step 100, you'll never take the first step. It's the small steps that allow for the big leaps love. So when it comes to our dreams, our goals, our desires, what we oftentimes do is start at the end. Right. And that makes complete sense. Right? I want to run a marathon. I want to have a six figure coaching business.
[00:04:48] I want to marry the person of my dreams. And at the beginning, this is like really inspiring and exciting. And it makes us just really thrilled. Right? There's nothing like that. Thrill of setting a goal and you get all excited. And then what happens next? We start to get a little bit worried. We start to get a little bit nervous, a little bit overwhelmed by this goal.
[00:05:15] And all of a sudden, we get a case of what I call the house, which sounds a little bit like this, your mind starts to rush with questions. Like, how am I going to do this? How is this going to happen? How am I supposed to figure this out? Our mind starts to try and figure out how we're going to get to this end goal.
[00:05:38] And the more and more we think about the goal instead of feeling inspired and. All we feel is worry and overwhelm and stress. All we see are obstacles. All we see is issues coming up and the resistance just goes stronger and stronger until we talk ourselves out of our desire. Now, I want you to take a moment and be really honest with you.
[00:06:03] Does this pattern, does this cycle ring true for you? That initial moment of absolute excitement when you name a dream, when you think about a dream, then all of a sudden, a little bit of trepidation, a little bit of worry, which then grows into overwhelm as you start to think of how the heck am I actually going to do this thing?
[00:06:28] Love you are not alone when it comes to that. This is one of the biggest reasons why so many of us give up on our dreams before we even start them. The problem is that we're starting at the wrong point. We're starting at the end and trying to work our way backward, but you can't reverse engineer something you've never done.
[00:06:54] Right? You can't draw a map to a place that you have never been. This is what so many of us do when we create a big goal, we start at that finish line and then we try to think of, well, how am I going to get there by working our way backward? But you can't create a map to a destination that you have never been to love.
[00:07:19] You have to start where you are, which is at the starting line. The only way to get there. Is by taking that first step, we get so consumed by step a hundred step, 200 steps, 300. And thinking about that step and how did we get there that we forget that all we really have to do is take the first step and then take the next one and then take the one that follows that I want to share a personal story with you.
[00:07:52] I've been reflecting so much on this podcast. This episode idea actually came to me at the end of the year when a lot of people were sharing their Spotify lists. So every year Spotify does this round up of all of the music. You've listened to all of the bands you've listened to. And also if you listen to podcasts on Spotify, it does around up of your top five podcasts.
[00:08:19] And so many people. Shared my podcast. Like I was number one on some people's lists, but the fact that I was even on someone's top five lists, I mean, blows me away. I started this podcast February 20, 22 years ago. If you're listening to this live almost two years ago and in a couple more episodes, we're going to be reaching episode 100.
[00:08:51] Now, if I had even thought to myself at the beginning of getting to 100 episodes of getting two years into my podcast, I would have never even started. It had always been a dream of mine to have a podcast. I love listening to them, but I just felt like how, how am I actually going to have a weekly podcast?
[00:09:17] How could I possibly have ideas to share every week who would actually want to listen to me? And how the heck does one even go about publishing a podcast? What kind of Mike would I get? What kind of platform do I edit on? What is editing a podcast? Like? I had all of the questions in my head. But I really wanted to do this.
[00:09:41] And I think it also helped that right when I started the podcast, the pandemic happened and I had a lot of extra time on my hands and a lot of anxiety. And so I channeled all of that into creating this podcast, but I was just focused episode by episode. That's it. I just took the next step that I needed to take.
[00:10:03] And if you listen to the podcast at the very beginning, the sound quality isn't as great. The editing isn't as great. We just got a new intro two years in. And let me tell you, I know that the sound quality of that intro was not that great, but I just went with what worked. I went with what was possible at that time with my resources, with the knowledge and the wisdom and that support system that I had around me.
[00:10:30] And as I have grown, this podcast has grown. I just took the next step and the next step. And let me tell you, thank goodness I did that because this podcast is one of my favorite things I get to do in my work. Getting to connect with you in this intimate way. It means so much to me. I can't tell you what it makes me feel.
[00:10:56] My heart literally burst. When I get emails from you, DMS from you, personal messages from you, letting me know what kind of impact an episode had on you letting me know that you used a tool. When you went back home for the holidays. I have so many clients that I work with now that will literally site an episode that shifted something for them or made them want to work with me.
[00:11:24] This podcast has completely changed my life. And if I was fixated on step 100 of getting to the hundredth episode, I know with a hundred percent certainty, I would have never taken the first. So listen, thinking of episode a hundred, of course there is the sense of inspiration and excitement that comes with that.
[00:11:49] So it's not that I'm saying, I don't want you to focus on where you want to be love. Right? When we talk about manifestation, we talk about feeling the. How does it feel like to get to that hundredth episode? But what we have to remember is when that starts to feel overwhelming and it makes us start to doubt ourselves and start to talk ourselves out of our dreams.
[00:12:10] That's when we're getting deep into the house and we need to take things back a little bit and figure out where am I on this map on this map that I am on, that I am creating and building and using as I go. That's what I really want to remind you of love. Yes, we are getting to the end goal. We are creating empires.
[00:12:34] We are creating dream lives, but I don't want you to lose sight of where you are today. I don't want you to lose sight of taking that next step. That feels the best for you right now. The next step that feels the most aligned to the next step. That feels the most true. The next step that feels best for you.
[00:12:52] Love. That's how we get to our goals. Listen, it's not sexy, but it works. It's so works. And this podcast is proof of that. Our, how, how am I going to get there? How am I going to do this? Eat will get in the way of our dreams. Every single time. Our mind likes to go into planning. It wants to figure out the way to get there.
[00:13:21] And it wants to save us from pain or disappointment or embarrassment. So it tries to create this really full-proof fail-proof plan. But here's the problem. Our mind, our ego, our fear brain, when it comes to the future, when it comes to the unknown, it can only create a plan for us. It can only create a future for.
[00:13:45] Based on the building blocks of our past. So when you try and conceive of, or create a future based on the patterns and experiences of your past, you're always going to fall short. You're not going to find the path you need, the proof you need. You're not going to find the certainty you're looking for.
[00:14:05] Instead, you're going to find more reasons to stop. It's going to feel a little scary taking these steps because you have never done this thing before, and that's how it's supposed to feel love. And I know with a hundred percent certainty that when you need to pivot and shift, you will pivot and shift wherever you need to do that.
[00:14:30] The only reason why it feels uncertain isn't because you're not meant to do this thing. It's because you've just never done it. That is all. So I really want to encourage you love to embrace the fact that this is going to feel a little uncertain. You're not going to be the expert. You're not going to kind of know exactly what you're doing.
[00:14:49] We're all fumbling as we go along. I really want to tell you this. We're all fumbling as we do this. I'm still fumbling with this podcast. Okay. But that's how we get there. That's how we get to step 100. I could have never imagined episode 100. Yes. I dreamed of it. Yes. I hoped for it. Yes. I hoped that I would have an audience as amazing as you, but I knew I had to start where I was and I knew I had to take those steps as I went along.
[00:15:23] So love, I really hope that in this episode, in my word, you found some sort of Colonel a C. That you can plant for yourself when it comes to your dream, that you can start to get really excited and inspired by the finish line, by the end goal. But you can also feel so certain and secure in yourself that you are taking the necessary steps to one day.
[00:15:49] Get there that you promise to yourself that you will take each step as it comes, because the stream means so much to you. So love if your dream this year is to become a coach. I want to encourage you to maybe stop thinking of how you're going to make those six figures, how you're going to get that full client roster and figure out instead whether or not you want to do a certification program.
[00:16:17] If you want to switch careers, I want to encourage you to maybe stop thinking about what that next job is. And instead, maybe focusing on what you don't like about the one you have now. I want us to feel really inspired about where we're going, but not overwhelmed by it. I hope that makes sense. Love. I don't know how you're going to get to step 100.
[00:16:42] I don't know how, but I know that all you need to do is to take that next inspired step. And that one day you will look back. And you will see your, how you will see that map that you created for yourself. That map that is singular to you and you alone. I want to finish this podcast in a new way. I want to finish with us just taking a really deep breath in and out.
[00:17:15] And as we do that, I want you to just reflect on one thing from this episode that you want to remember, that you want to think on that really resonated with you. So taking a deep breath in thinking of that thing and taking a deep breath out until next week. Love, I will talk to you.
[00:17:43] Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend subscribe or follow where you love listening most. And if you haven't yet leave a review, you can do this on apple podcasts, task box, pod, chaser, or podcast addict until next week. Love.