Creating Affirmations that Actually Work | ep134
I believe so deeply in the power of affirmations, but a lot of us are wary of them. We see big phrases like “I am worthy” and “I am enough” and although we want to believe that they’re true, we really don’t believe them… yet.
This leads us to think that there’s something wrong with us, but…
…the problem isn’t the affirmations.
…the problem isn’t us.
The problem is that we have never been taught how to create affirmations that actually work for us. That work for our lives, for who we are in this moment, and for who we are becoming.
So, I’m going to teach you my go-to formula for creating powerful affirmations that actually work for you. By the end of this, you will be able to create your own affirmations that help you feel empowered, supported, and confident.
Love, whether you absoutely LOVE affirmations or you side-eye them, there is going to be so much here for you today.
*Before we start, I created a FREE 7-day guided journal with short and easy daily prompts to help you go deep and truly transform your life. Click below to download it today!
Words contain power. But only if you believe.
When I first embarked on my self-growth and self-healing journey, I went to this workshop, led by a very famous wellness teacher, where we were told to stand up and repeat: “I am loved. I am worthy. I am capable.”
Everyone in the room stood up and together repeated this like four or five times.
And every time we said it, I felt more and more uncomfortable. I felt like a total imposter.
Here I was saying these words, surrounded by this community and I felt like EVERYONE in the room believed it. Except for me. It felt like there was something inherently wrong with me. These were powerful affirmations that were supposed to be changing my life, right?
But, instead I was feeling worse about myself.
Love, I have a feeling you’ve encountered a similar situation. Perhaps it was an affirmation you were told to say, one you read or saw and no matter how many times you said it to yourself or wrote it in your journal, you just could not get onboard with that affirmation. It’s like speaking a foreign language.
The idea of words, phrases, and affirmations carrying immense power has been around for centuries. In Sanskrit, we have mantras which are very sacred phrases used at very intentional times to help transform energy. This same idea of words carrying power transcends different cultures.
Words do contain power. Words do have the ability to shift and change how we feel about ourselves. But, the one thing — and the biggest thing — that is left out of the conversation is the word believe.
Words contain power, but only if you believe.
Even the tiniest kernel of belief is all you need, love. But, you have to believe.
Big affirmations don’t work because we don’t believe them… yet.
If we do not believe what we are saying, it’s not going to have that magical, transformational effect. It’s not going to shift how we feel. It may even make us feel worse.
This is where we can fall into the world of toxic positivity.
Someone is telling us to repeat a positive phrase and we don’t believe it. So, we’re repeating and repeating it, and it becomes harmful because we are not yet in a place where we can say it and actually believe it for ourselves.
You can’t shift things overnight
Thing is, for 20+, 30+, 40+, 50+ years you have been saying the absolute opposite of this big affirmation to yourself. You can’t just switch that overnight, no matter how many times you repeat it or write it.
This is where the wellness world can let us down: it creates really unrealistic expectations of ourselves that we really shouldn’t have to live up to.
Mount Everest Thoughts
What I see happen often in the world of growth, healing, and wellness is we’re often being offered what I call “Mount Everest Thoughts.”
These are thoughts like:
I am enough.
I am worthy.
I am loved.
I trust myself.
Now, these are incredible phrases, but I call them “Mount Everest Thoughts” not because they’re out of reach but because we have to work our way toward them. You don’t expect yourself to be able to reach the summit of Mount Everest overnight. No, love. You have to train and get to base camp. Then, second camp. And so on and so forth.
We have to work our way towards believing in such amazing, powerful thoughts and affirmations.
That’s where my go-to formula comes in.
The Faith Over Fear Formula
This is how my clients, and myself, create personalized affirmations that actually work. When it comes to you and your life, these are the affirmations that will help you to get motivated, to stay centered and grounded in your true worth and capabilities.
First, think of your Mount Everest Thought
Choose a powerful affirmation that you personally would love to believe, but find that you’re struggling with.
For this exercise, I’m going to use “I am worthy.”
Second, on a scale of 1 to 10, rank how much you believe this affirmation
10 is absolute belief and 1 is not at all.
In this exercise, we want to find a thought that falls within the 1 to 6 range.
Third, add in one of these additional phrases:
I am determined…
Every day, I am working towards…
Each day, I…
It is safe to…
I accept that…
We’re now going to play around with your thought to find a new affirmation that sits at a 6 or higher on our scale of believability by adding in one of the phrases above.
So, using our example of “I am worthy,” our rewrite can sound like:
I am determined to feel worthy today.
Every day, I am working towards feeling worthy.
Each day, I feel my sense of worth growing stronger.
It is safe to feel worthy.
I accept that a part of me will never feel fully worthy, but deep down, I know how incredibly worthy I am.
See, we aren’t leaping straight to the peak of the mountain. Instead, we’re working our way up that mountain.
You may also find while doing this that you don’t want to get to the top of the mountain. Maybe the affirmation got you to base camp and that feels good for where you are right now.
The most powerful of these phrases is “I accept that…”
This phrase actually meets you right where you are and it allows you to grow beyond at the same time. Sometimes what throws us off about affirmations is we feel we have to deny some of the real feelings and thoughts we’re having.
That’s why I love this particular phrase. And as you work through this formula, you will know which affirmation is for you because all of a sudden your body will respond with the slightest energetic shift.
It’s your turn to create your own affirmations
So love, play around with this formula and the thoughts that feel pretty big to you right now. See where you can find that 6 or higher affirmation for you. Your internal feelings will dictate what affirmations, beliefs, and thoughts are best for you.
And when we create these affirmations, they won’t be ones you’ll find on a coffee mug or a pillow. Heck, they surely won’t be the next “Live. Laugh. Love.” But, these are the affirmations that will actually change your life.
As you create your beautiful, personalized, and powerful affirmations for yourself, please email or DM them to me! I love receiving them.
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If you enjoyed this, you’ll also enjoy these posts & podcast episodes:
Mindset: The Faith Over Fear Formula: Mindset work is so often misunderstood as being false positivity. But true mindset work is about shifting your thoughts slowly so that you can expand from where you are today to where you want to be in the future. Listen to this episode to learn about Shirin’s Faith over Fear Formula, her tried and tested mindset formula.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.