The 1 Word that Keeps us from our Goals | e140
This whole month we're focusing on goals and goal-setting but in a special way: we're looking at things the Wholehearted Way. I know, I know, you’re probably wondering, “Shirin, what does that even mean?” Well, love — looking at our goals, especially our biggest dreams and desires, the Wholehearted Way is less about striving and achieving in 2023 and more about dreaming and thriving.
Today we're going to explore the one word I no longer use when it comes to my dreams, and no, it's not "I can't."
Ever since I stopped using this word, everything has shifted when it comes to my dreams.
But, before we get further into this, I want to remind you of two important things:
1. This is the final week to sign up for my FREE masterclass, Your Best Year.
Spend a week with me envisioning what your best year looks like and creating a plan of action to actually make it happen.
If you're looking for more support, guidance and inspiration when it comes to 2023, then I hope you will join us.
You can head here for more info and sign up.
2. I will be opening the doors to my membership, The Alchemy Collective, at the end of the month.
If you want to be the first to join and get a very big discount, get on the waitlist.
Ok, let’s get into it, love.
When it comes to our dreams, our minds like to jump right to the end.
And at first, this feels so exciting and inspiring. But, we get to a certain point where this actually becomes really overwhelming.
All of a sudden we find ourselves with a dream in one hand a bad case of “How” in the other.
How am I going to do this?
How is this going to happen?
How am I supposed to figure this out?
Our mind tries to figure out ways to get to our goal, and the more we think, the more we get worried because the word How talks us out of our desires.
All we see are obstacles. All we see is stress. And the resistance grows stronger until we often talk ourselves out of our desire.
This is why so many of us give up on our dreams before we even start them.
*Hey love, in this week’s podcast episode, I walk you through a visualization exercise to help identify the How’s in your life. Click the player above to tune in!
A lot of times, our goals are ones we’ve placed a cap on.
Our goals tend to exist within this box of what we think is actually possible for us.
But love, here at Wholehearted Coaching, we’re going beyond that box. We are breaking that cap! We are going after goals, dreams, and desires that light us the hell up, make us feel excited, and also a little bit scared.
Ever since I’ve worked to become so conscious and aware of the word “How" and the impact it actually has on our lives, the more I’ve been able to see my biggest and wildest dreams come to life.
Let me give you a personal example of what this looks like.
At the time of this posting, I am on my 140th episode of Wholehearted Coaching: The Podcast. Y’all… ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY!!
I honestly cannot believe it myself. I began this podcast at the start of the pandemic, back in 2020.
Having a podcast had always been a dream of mine, but it actually seemed pretty daunting. I was worried that it would be so time consuming and just overwhelming.
How could I possibly put out weekly content?
How will I get listeners?
How will I know if what I have to say even matter?
And there I was in the midst of the panini with TONS of time on my hands and a whole lot of anxiety. So, what did I do? I took the next step to create the podcast I had long been dreaming about.
And listen, I had no idea what I was doing (sometimes, I still don’t!). But, I knew I needed a mic. So, I bought a mic. One step done.
Google showed me some other essentials I needed. Another step done.
And love, one step at a time, here we are:
Almost 3 years recording weekly content
140 episodes released (and counting!)
More than 100,000 downloads worldwide
And my favorite: countless lives touched and impacted by this show that I dreamt of.
But, had I spent that initial time just thinking about how I was even going to get to episode 140, I would have never actually taken the most important step: step 1.
I worked on my podcast step by step, episode by episode.
I learned as I went. And that’s how we figure out the how: by taking it one step at a time.
Now, I want to share with you the antidote to “How”
Honestly, I know that telling you to take the next step just might be easier said than done. When we think of “How,” we think of feelings like…
overwhelm
feeling incapable
hopeless
When we’re deep in the spiral of trying to figure out “How” we’re going to do something, we’re not really motivated to take that next step — even if it is just one step.
This is how that word keeps us from doing things we want to do. It makes us procrastinate, delay, it un-motivates us so we don’t work towards what we really want.
So, I want to introduce you to the word that creates the opposite types of feelings. You know: excitement, hope, inspiration! The feelings you initially felt when that goal or dream first came to you. The feelings that actually excite you towards taking the next step.
That word is Because.
When we add “Because” after our goals and dreams, it brings us back to our deepest intentions. Those intentions are your why, love. They’re the fuel.
Let’s do a little exercise.
I want you to think of one of your biggest, wildest dreams. One you’d like to achieve this year. Then, I want you to add “…because…” after it. Like this:
This year, I want to [your big, beautiful dream] because…
Now, start naming all of the reasons why.
And these don’t have to be altruistic. Your why’s don’t have to be for other people. They can be all for you.
What this does is reminds you of the most important things. These are the things that keep you on the path.
I want you to remember, too, that you can dream and scheme anytime you want, love. January doesn’t have to be the start date for anything. But, whenever you do choose to dream up your biggest goals, understand these parts that will come up. Understand that they are trying to protect you. And understand that you have got this, love. You’re just going to reconnect with those big feelings and take the next best step towards your goal.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll love the rest of this goals-focused series:
139 | Setting Goals for What You Really Want : It’s a new year, love! And you know what that means: a new set of goals to go after. It’s also a time where you may start to feel some guilt and shame around what you didn’t do last year. Maybe you’re wondering how to set goals and actually achieve them. Well, that’s exactly what we’re talking about today.
141 | A better way to set goals (and achieve them) : Are you tired of setting big goals and not achieving them? In this episode, I want to share with you the ultimate game changer that will teach you the 2 most important elements of setting goals for your biggest dreams and actually achieving them.
142 | How to Dream Audaciously! : Do you remember how it felt to really dream? To dream big, to dream daringly, to dream like you did when you were an imaginative child? I believe so much in the power of dreaming and it is our wildest dreams that have the power to truly change our lives and the world around us. In this post, I want to help you get back to dreaming your biggest, wildest dreams that speak to your true desires with a super simple exercise that will help bring you back to dreaming audaciously.
143 | Your Future Self (My Favorite Visualization) : One of the keys to setting and achieving your goals is understanding who you are becoming to achieve those goals. I want to introduce you to one of my favorite visualization exercises that invites you to step into the future version of yourself that has fully committed to all of your dreams and goals. Be sure to save this episode so you can come back to it again and again.
Did you know that each podcast episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.