Setting Goals for What You Really Want | ep139
Happy New Year, love.
Well, I'm trying to muster up some new year's cheer, to be honest. I am struggling to even think about 2023. I mean, I’m still processing what happened over the last few years.
So when it comes to thinking about the next 12 months, I’m falling a little short.
And perhaps you are too.
If it feels too difficult to think about the coming year, don’t.
New beginnings don’t have to start on January 1st (or 2nd).
A new year does not need a new you.
We have to let go of the idea that certain days have some sort of magical restart button. And we definitely have to let go of the pressure surrounding these arbitrary days.
But I also understand the human desire to create goals around this time of year.
There’s a better way to start new chapters, a way that honors where you’re at and where you’re going. A way that doesn’t follow anyone’s timeline except yours.
So, on January 15th I am offering a FREE week-long masterclass that will show you how to expand into the new year in a way that is authentic and true to who you are.
In Your Best Year, you will learn the EXACT systems my clients and I use to make our biggest dreams into reality year after year.
To find out more and sign up, head here or click below.
Also, to help out with some of the New Year overwhelm, for the entire month of January we'll be talking all about goal setting both here in the newseltter and over on the podcast. But of course, we'll be doing it the wholehearted way ❤️.
Alright, now let's get into this week's wholehearted content...
“Why is this year going to be any different?”
I used to hate New Year’s because it would just be this really overwhelming time of year. By December 31st, I would feel I had to have this concise list of resolutions, of things I had to do. And, I would look at this list like… “Yes, I can do this!” But also… “Mmm… no… I don’t think I can…”
I would see this in my clients as well. They would come to me with this long list of things they had to do in the new year along with this look of defeat on their faces.
It’s the look of someone who starts reflecting on the last year and realizing they didn’t do a quarter of the things they wanted to do.
It’s the look of someone who tried to make plans during a global pandemic.
It’s the look of someone who is trying their very best and still can’t seem to make anything happen.
It’s the look of someone who has started to see themselves as a procrastinator, a failure, or a mess when it comes to achieving their dreams.
You see, when we don’t accomplish a goal, we are so quick to pick ourselves apart.
We repeat the story of how we lack motivation, or we’re terrible at following through, or that we’re failures.
But the truth is, it’s not you that’s the problem, love. It’s those damn goals.
In short, you’re not failing at your goals, your goals are failing you.
There is an inherent flaw with our current goal-making system: it doesn’t allow for pivoting. It doesn’t allow for life to happen, and most importantly, it doesn’t center THE most important thing.
What is THE most important thing, you ask?
It’s how you want to feel, love.
The truth is whenever we create a goal, we’re actually chasing a feeling.
When we make a goal about income, we may be chasing feelings like security, adventure, or freedom.
When we make a goal about our bodies, we may be chasing feelings like worth, value, or our sexy.
When we make a goal about our careers, we may be chasing feelings like impact, success, or fulfillment.
We’ve been taught a faulty goal-making system because it’s all backwards. We have to instead start with the feelings.
As we step into 2023, I want you to get so clear on how you want to feel, love.
What are 5 feelings that you want to embody this year?
And once you figure those out, find out ways that you can make a commitment to those feelings.
Those are the goals that we follow through on. Those are the goals that make us feel alive. Those are the goals that lead us to where we want to truly be.
If you want some guidance and support coming up with your own goals for 2023, join me for Your Best Year. And head over to the podcast where you can get a headstart.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll love the rest of this goals-focused series:
140 | The 1 Word that Keeps us from our Goals : What stops you from achieving your biggest goals? Today, we’re going to talk about the one word that stops us from achieving our goals. It’s the 1 word I no longer use when it comes to my biggest goals and my wildest dreams. Then, I’m going to show you the antidote to help you get back to those initial feelings to fuel your way so you can actually go after those big, wild dreams.
141 | A better way to set goals (and achieve them) : Are you tired of setting big goals and not achieving them? In this episode, I want to share with you the ultimate game changer that will teach you the 2 most important elements of setting goals for your biggest dreams and actually achieving them.
142 | How to Dream Audaciously! : Do you remember how it felt to really dream? To dream big, to dream daringly, to dream like you did when you were an imaginative child? I believe so much in the power of dreaming and it is our wildest dreams that have the power to truly change our lives and the world around us. In this post, I want to help you get back to dreaming your biggest, wildest dreams that speak to your true desires with a super simple exercise that will help bring you back to dreaming audaciously.
143 | Your Future Self (My Favorite Visualization) : One of the keys to setting and achieving your goals is understanding who you are becoming to achieve those goals. I want to introduce you to one of my favorite visualization exercises that invites you to step into the future version of yourself that has fully committed to all of your dreams and goals. Be sure to save this episode so you can come back to it again and again.
Did you know that each podcast episode comes with free guided journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox complete with journal prompts to take you even further, get on my email list.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll also enjoy these posts & podcast episodes:
How to Manifest with Ease: Sometimes it’s so easy to over complicate how we manifest our dreams. Learn how to take the stress out of your manifestation practice and learn my 4 favorite manifestation exercises to show you how to manifest what you want and desire with ease.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.