Dreams and Dreaming | ep65
About this episode:
Dreams are essential to reaching our biggest goals, but probably not for the reason you’re thinking of. Today, we're digging into one of my favorite topics - learning how to dream again.
I believe that we all need to be dreaming more, but we've been burned so many times by our dreams that we've kind of forgotten how.
For so long I thought my dreams were the arrival point. They were the destination in the GPS called my life. I would get so attached to reaching that destination that if I fell short, pivoted, or changed my mind then it felt like the ultimate failure.
More specifically, it felt like I was the ultimate failure.
And so I started to dream less and less because I started associating my dreams with heartbreak and failure. It hurt too much to dream. But, what really was happened was I had lost sight of the purpose of our dreams.
Truth is, our dreams aren’t meant to come true. The purpose of our dreams lies in how they make us feel.
Dreaming is inspiration. Dreaming is electricity. Dreaming is aliveness. Dreaming is the source of momentum that so many of us have been searching for and I’m talking about the way we used to dream when we were little. Before we attached the meaning of our dreams to them coming true. When we used to dream simply for dreaming's sake.
It feels good to dream in the most boldest and limitless ways. I believe, we are all dreamers at our core. You were born with 100s of dreams within you, love. And just because you’re not voicing them out loud or fanning their flames doesn’t mean they disappear. You’re only denying an integral part of your being.
So, how do you start to dream again?
You have to learn to become obsessed with how dreaming makes you feel instead of becoming obsessed with your dreams coming true.
Our dreams are the momentum that gets us somewhere. Sometimes that destination is the one on which we set forth. Sometimes it’s somewhere totally unimaginable. But we could never get there without the momentum that our dreams provide us.
Our dreams have a life of their own. Let’s breathe life into them. Nourish them. Adapt alongside them. If you can allow your dream to lead the way, you will eventually stumble upon the unimaginable.
In this episode, I’m giving you a sneak peek into the work we do in Inner Compass: The Course - my online course that helps you reclaim who you are, get clear on what you want, and create a plan of action that allows you to not only reach your goals, but centers your ease & joy. In Inner Compass, we spend an entire module on dreaming and so many graduates say it’s their absolute favorite for truly transforming their mindsets. Head here to learn even more about it.
A quote to take with you:
“The purpose of our dreams isn’t for them to come true, the purpose of our dreams is in how they make us feel.”
Want to dive deeper through journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox, get on my email list: https://forms.aweber.com/form/26/1798524926.htm
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Inner Compass: The Course: If you’re ready to finally figure out what you’re meant to do in this world, if you’re ready to stop getting in your own damn way, if you’re ready to actually breath life into your dreams, then this special experience is for you. Graduates know how to face challenges and achieve their goals because they know how to use their mindset to work for them. That’s why there is such a huge success rate.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to trust your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life when you have come to the right place. Let's create your dream life while living your dream life. Okay love. Hi love. Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at wholehearted coaching or you can get the full post plus journal prompts. When you sign up for my email list, you can do that in the show notes. Or you can head to my website wholehearted dash coaching calm. So today we're talking about one of my favorite topics, we are talking about dreams and dreaming. I honestly believe that re learning and reigniting our ability to dream and imagine, again, is one of the biggest keys to transforming our lives, it's certainly been a key for me. And it's been the key for so many of my clients as well. It's led me to achieve amazing things in my life. But more importantly, it's also completely changed my experience of life, a life that is based on a foundation of dreams and imagination. Let me tell you all it's an incredible experience. Dreaming is such an essential part of who we are. And I believe that we all need to be dreaming more. But let's let's just be real, it's really scary to dream we have been burned by our dreams so many times, right, they have not come true things have not happened the way we want them to. And so now as adults, it can be a really difficult thing to do a difficult thing to trust, but love dreaming, imagining our dreams. These are the keys that you have been searching for. So in today's episode, we're going to be looking at why dreams are important. What stops us from dreaming, and how we can awaken our ability to dream and imagine again, now we're talking about dreams because this entire month, I am giving you a sneak peek into the work that we do in inner compass, the course my online course that helps you Reclaim Your purpose, passion and joy, an inner compass, the course we spend an entire module on dreaming. And I have to tell you that this module is the one that so many inner compass participants point to that shifted things for them, right? They were like, Well, I didn't know about the dreaming module. I just did it and then they're like, holy crap, that dreaming module changed everything. It transformed my mindset. It transformed how I do the things that I do. This summer I am teaching a live version of inner compass the course which means that instead of you just doing the course by yourself, which would be great, but this summer, I am going to be guiding you personally through the work you're going to have me some amazing guests and incredible community to do this work with you. You can head to the show notes or wholehearted dash coaching comm slash inner compass for more info and if you are listening to this podcast live, then that means that you can still sign up for my free five day masterclass the inner compass experience where I am teaching you the foundations of inner compass work so you can get a taste of what the inner compass experience is like. So again if you're listening live you have this week to sign up for the masterclass a free five day masterclass with me. We start on May 16. So if you want to get in on this intimate and special experience with me, then head to the show notes or go to wholehearted dash coaching comm slash experience. So these podcast episodes this month are really giving you an inside look into what we do in the course. And to help you with that to help you dig deeper in what we do in the course each episode also has a worksheet. Now these worksheets are invaluable. They go deep into what we're talking about on each podcast episode. You can grab those worksheets when you sign up for my email list. Okay, so you can do that in the show notes or go to my website wholehearted dash coaching.com and also at the end of every episode, I am featuring one of the inner compass graduates so you can hear from them, what inner compass was like for them, what they got out of it, what transformed what helped all that good stuff. So you will want to listen into today's interview, it is with one of the inner compass graduates a mother of two, who during the course, was finishing a college degree, and reignited reimagined her dream to become an actress. This was all during COVID. And during that time, she landed a national commercial campaign and is now going to be in a hall Mark movie, y'all, I can't make this stuff up. She is literally the embodiment of what we're talking about today about breathing life into our dreams and allowing ourselves to dream boldly. Alright, so let's get into today's Mindset Monday, it reads, our dreams are not the destination. Our dreams are the fuel. I want to start with a personal story, something about my upbringing that really made me have a complicated relationship with dreams. Like most kids, I love to dream, like I had this huge imagination. And I would spend endless hours dreaming up what could be I would play with my dolls, I would play in the dirt. I was just imagining and dreaming all the time. And I still remember that as a child. And I think even into my early teens, one of my favorite times was when I was in that state between sleep and still being awake, you know, when you close your eyes, and you still weren't asleep, because during that time, I would just dream and imagine to my heart's content, right, that was such a magical time for me. But I grew up in a household where dreams weren't really talked about not in that expansive way, not in that really imaginative way. So I've said this before I am Iranian. My family immigrated from Iran, because of a very tumultuous life experience, right? We experienced a revolution, we were in the middle of a war. So when you kind of are around that kind of trauma and upheaval all the time, you start to have a very different relationship with dreams with the future with long term plans or promises, right? Iranians do not like to make long term plans or promises, which is essentially dreaming, right? And honestly, as an adult, now I can understand why we come from a history of trauma, wars, revolutions, riots, when you experience that much upheaval over centuries, right? This isn't just like, a couple years, like centuries of this stuff, you learn that plans and promises, and dreams usually don't come true. And I remember getting so frustrated as a young girl because I was this natural dreamer. And I would go to school and you know, all my schoolmates would be telling me about their dreams for the summer, or their plans for the summer, like they'd be going to Disneyland or Hawaii or whatever. And I'd go home and I'd be like, Mom, what are we doing this summer? And my mom would just be like, well, let's see who's alive or dead by then. This is a literal, or Iranian saying that's frequently used. And if you're an Iranian person, you know what I'm talking about. But I'm pretty sure that in a lot of immigrant cultures, there is a very similar mindset when it comes to the future, right? Like, let's see who's alive or dead by then. So we wouldn't plan, we would just wait and see. And I know that my parents were trying to protect me and my sister from the pain of broken promises, right? They didn't want us to be disappointed if things didn't work out. And so while we were never disappointed in things, never working out. We were disappointed in the present. Because we were told and taught not to hope. We were told and taught to not see the future as a place of possibility, but instead a place of worry, where things don't happen. It was like living life with a dimmer switch always set to the midpoint. Yeah, you can see, but there is so much being left out. And as a young girl, I knew I didn't want to live that way. I knew I didn't want to continue this pattern. And so I dare to dream. I dare to look forward to the future. I dared to make plans. And this is a truth. It is daring and courageous. To dream. It is scary to dream it is down right terrifying to dream. I want you to think of when you were young. Maybe you want to pull out a picture of yourself. Imagine a picture of yourself whatever that is, and I want you to think of that version of Have you? And think back to what kind of relationship did they have to dreaming? How did it feel like for them to dream. And I'm probably imagining that when you were young, just like me dreaming and imagining was just this really fun place of possibility. It felt good, it felt free. And it just felt like an essential part of who you were. But something happens on the way to adulthood, and our relationship with our dreams, and dreaming starts to change. We lose our trust in them, they make us feel uncomfortable, they are reminders of our past failures or mistakes, they're a reminder that perhaps we are failures, right? We start to stop dreaming or putting a cap a limit on our dreams. So what changed, right what shifted, when we were young, we had no attachment to our dreams coming true. We just allowed ourselves to dream, right? Again, imagining yourself as a kid, when I see my nephew play, that child is just dreaming for dreaming sake, because it feels so good. Because it feels so fun. He doesn't care if it comes true or not. But as we start to grow, we start getting attached and identified with our dreams. Right? And that the purpose of our dreams is for them to come true. And the truth is, honestly, our dreams often don't come true. Or they don't come true in the way that we imagined them to. Right. That's just a truth. And so we start having this relationship with dreaming more. It's about disappointment and failure. And we see it as a source of pain, right? Because we equate the purpose of dreaming with it coming true, right? That if I dream, the ROI has to be that this thing happens. And when it doesn't happen, it's like well, what's the point in this right? Why get my hopes up high, this isn't going to happen. But we have lost sight of the purpose of our dreams, love. Okay, this is this is probably going to be a new idea, a new shift in how you think about our dreams. But the purpose of dreaming is not for them to come true. The purpose of dreaming isn't how it makes us feel. Dreaming is inspiration. It's momentum. It's a lightness, it's that feeling you had as a kid, right? Maybe you know that feeling you had as a kid on your birthday morning thinking of what could be that feeling you had on a day of celebration in your household thinking of all the amazing things that could possibly happen. There's a mark nippo quote that I know I have shared on this podcast before. But this was the quote that actually made me rethink of my relationship with dreams that made me rethink of the purpose of our dreams. Literally, this Mark nippo quote, is the foundation and source of the inner compass module on dreaming on all the work that I do around dreams. So the quote reads, now I think of a dream as a state of being and not a place to arrive at, we get so caught up in whether the dream comes true or falls away when its purpose is to charge the circuit of life. When we can feel a dream moving through it expands us. So really, any dream will do. It is the dreaming that is essential. Not it's imagined real estate, but the places it lights along the way. So Mark is telling us dreaming is a state of being dreaming is about the places it lights along the way. It's electricity, its expansion. Love. Dreaming, is about how it makes you feel dreaming is the source of momentum and inspiration that so many of us are searching and craving for. And I'm talking about dreaming in those bold and limitless ways we used to do when we were young before we used to say oh well, how's that going to happen? That's never happened for you before. Oh, he tried that in the past and it didn't work out. Right. None of those thoughts coming in the way. We have to become obsessed with how dreaming makes us feel instead of becoming obsessed with our dreams coming true. We become so obsessed with making our dreams happen with going after our goals. And that often doesn't make us feel really good. So we have to prioritize how good it feels to dream. Or recreate reimagine that space we used to be in when we were younger where it felt really good to dream because I know right now you're like Sharon head doesn't feel that great to dream. But this is what creates that moment. And when you can really make a commitment to that state of being. So dreaming, love is not about getting there. It's the fuel that takes us somewhere. So one of our biggest barriers of dreams is like, well, I wanted to go there, I wanted to go in that specific place in the way that I imagined how I imagined, but our dreams, sometimes they're not going to take us to that dream we have in our head, right? I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that if you start dreaming again, all your dreams are gonna come true, exactly how you imagined them. No. But I will tell you that once you start dreaming again, you start to get that momentum that a lightness, and you start imagining of things you never thought of. And then this amazing thing happens is that you actually get to destinations you could have never thought of, because when we're in a state of that feel goodness of our dreams, oh man, the pathways, the journey just becomes really enjoyable and limitless. And that feeling of your dreams will take you to somewhere you could have never imagined, I have seen that time and again, in my life, in my business, in my relationships. I understand though, it can be so scary to open yourself to dreaming again. Dreaming is scary, because it's about your needs, your wants, your desires, it's all about you. So it's like if you speak this dream into existence, if you allow yourself to feel good about this, and it fails, it doesn't happen, then it is as if you have failed yourself. Dreaming requires us to be vulnerable and honest with ourselves, it requires us to hope it requires us to trust and things beyond our control. So no wonder we're like, I don't know, I don't know about the streaming thing right? dreaming is hard for all of us. At some level, we have all experienced pain, hardship, and loss. And all of these things play into why we hold back from dreaming. And for anyone out there who is bipoc, who is perhaps a child of immigrants, who is from a marginalized community, it can be especially difficult for us to dream because it's something that's been conditioned out of us. Adrian Marie Brown has this incredible quote that also blew my mind and it reads, imagination is one of the spoils of colonization, which in many ways is claiming who gets to imagine the future of a given geography. losing our imagination is a symptom of trauma. reclaiming the right to dream the future, strengthening the muscle to imagine together as black people is a revolutionary decolonizing activity. Yes, this quote is both a call to action, and also an offering of understanding. And perhaps for you it's, it's it's an aha moment of oh my gosh, yeah, of course, it's scary for me to dream, because of white supremacy, because of trauma because of colonization, because of the patriarchy. Right. But love, this is how we get to create a different future. This is how we get to liberate ourselves. I get it dreaming is hard, but it is so necessary to do. If you want to get clear on what's holding you back from your dreams from that feel goodness place with your dreams and find ways to open yourself up to how amazing it can be to dream, then get on my email list. Okay, and grab the worksheet, the worksheet from inner compass the course and this is literally the worksheet you will get. When you sign up for inner compass. The course in it, you're going to find prompts and exercises that are going to illuminate so much for you. So here are some prompts to try out now these are from the worksheet and just see what comes up for you as I say them. So I'm going to say some prompts and then literally whatever comes to mind. So to dream means in my household dreaming was people who dream freely are dreaming feels. So just see what comes up for you. Right, these are some of the beliefs, the feelings that are holding you back from dreaming in this limitless way that we're talking about today. Love we're all dreamers at our core. Yes, you You are a dream. You were born with hundreds of dreams within you love. And just because you are not voicing them out loud, fanning the flames breathing life into them doesn't mean they don't they disappear, right doesn't mean they go away, you're only denying an integral part of who you are. We have to remember, not all dreams are meant to come true. That's not the point. But all of our dreams serve as the fuel, that gets us to the next step. And then the next one, until one day we stumble on the unimaginable the dream in your heart, it's not the destination in the GPS, but instead it is the fuel in the car. If this is resonating with you check out inner compass the course. And if you're listening live, you still have time to sign up for my free five day masterclass the inner compass experience, which teaches you about the foundations of inner compass work. And we're going to be doing some work around dreams and dreaming there. So all that information is in the show notes. And now, I cannot wait for you to listen to this interview with one of the inner compass graduates who literally made her dreams come true during inner compass. And not only that tells me in the interview that Sharon, I should have been dreaming even bigger, you are totally right. I should have been dreaming even bigger, because I made all my dreams come true. And this is someone who is a mother of two, doing a college degree during the time of COVID. Anything is possible love anything. But we all have to learn how to do it in a way that is sustainable, nourishing and efficient. And that's the work that we do and inner compass the course. Because we all deserve to be breathing life into our most incredible dreams. I am so thrilled to be interviewing this inner compass graduate, Beth and she I mean, this episode on dreaming is so perfect for Batman because I have literally witnessed her dreams like just become bigger and bigger and become reality over the course of knowing her and doing the inner compass work with her. So that's and thank you so so much for being part of this experience with me. Thank you know, thank you. This is my first podcast and I'm so excited that it's with you. Somebody I admire and have been following and working with I don't know since August 20 1920 2019. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, Sam is I literally can remember when people sneak into my DMS and then this relationship grows and you and another person I'm interviewing. I like distinctly remember when you sent me that first dm, because at that time you were Wait, you had won a call with me? Is that what happened? Yes, I did. You would want to call with me. And you were doing a production of Steel Magnolias. And it was my first show in probably 25 years. And it was it was well, it was dream changing. And I was so scared, but it was dream changing. It was dream changing. And then like I feel like the dream caught root. And it's so can you tell us a little bit just about you and your dreams? But then because like, not only are you are you doing the acting thing, but you also you're a mom of two. I know that and I know that you just finished a degree. Yeah, you to tell us about you. Tell us about Beth Ann. Alright, I am originally from Pennsylvania. And I always like before I was the kid who is like come see my show in the backyard and I'm dragging my friends to be in it. My little brother. I used to dress him up like as a woman because I needed another girl part. Like I was that kid. And I did some acting stage acting mostly and some modeling and things. And then I moved from Pennsylvania to Utah, which is where I get this distinct accent from. And I just got busy with life. I was selling shoes, which is not sound amazing, but it works. And next thing you know, I'm married. I have a gumball kids. I have my dog Joe, who I love more than life. And one day I saw that they needed somebody to help paint sets for production of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. I'm like, I used to like painting sets, I should do something for me. And by the way, I'm also taking nine credits in college and working 30 hours a week, but let me finish Listen, cuz I think I can do it. And I worked backstage for Joseph and I was like, that's it. I've got to get back into acting. And so I auditioned for Truby because I thought I could be a sassy hairdresser kind of Southern lady and Steel Magnolias and I ended up with Merlin. At the time I was petrified, which is when I started talking to you because I was like, I'm excited, but I'm also like, how am I going to be Merlin? Like this is just a side note. If people do not know Steel Magnolias right? Truby is like a really fun character. And and there's depth to the role. But like Mullin is like, one of the main characters goes through an incredible emotional arc. That's like acting chops, like you gotta have acting chops to do that role. Um, Dolly Parton play Truby in the movie. So that's the kind of art Yeah, it troubIe kind of, you know, that's basically Dolly Parton played Dolly Parton. But it was Sally fields who played it in the movie, and we did the stage version, which is if you need this, you need to see the stage version. That's all I'm gonna say. The movie was great. But it was a lot of work a lot of emotional work. Not just I mean, the part was emotional. The energy by that point, I was taking 11 credits that semester in college and had decided to pursue an acting degree instead of just a general boring degree. And so yeah, and I was that was the end of 2019. It went on in November gearing up for 2020, get my audition stuff got headshots, and then COVID hit. And like everyone, we did not realize it would be this long, like I thought two weeks. And once we realized it was long, I thought, I can't stop. And sure no, I since probably august of 2020. I've been in five movies. This will be my fifth what I just got announcement, I just gotten the Hallmark movie. I know I'm so excited. I just told you earlier that it has been just incredible. A bunch of commercials, a bunch of student films, I've done two plays in COVID masks, it's been It was a blast, but we were mass and who's very COVID safe. And that's been happening just in COVID like it has, it has been a lot. And I owe so much of it to you. Because I wasn't that I didn't know about manifesting, I took a manifesting class from you, I want to say at the beginning of 2020, end of my 2019 beginning of 2020. And that got the ball rolling on. I need to you know what I needed to do to get to my dreams. And I even did a vision board because I was like I am doing this and let me tell you, as soon as I book my flight to Philly, which is coming up, which is where I'm from my to go visit my aunt, I will have reached everything on that vision board on my guy who have graduated, I'm doing my last final this weekend. But I'm going to pass not worry that I'm just looking at it now. And I just look at it. And I could just check off all the lists because and now I have to find something bigger. I'm like I dreamt so small I wish I would have listened to you and jump bigger because I dreamt small because like I'll just graduate. That's not asking for much. I'll just be in some shows. That's not asking for much. But no I have killed all the all of my goals. And now I I want more. So that's where I am. I love it. So so much so but then what what inspired you to invest in yourself and to enroll in inner compass? What was it about it or your point in your life? Or was it the course that you really attracted you to it? I interesting inner compass. I had wanted to do stuff with you. I saw like you were doing all these great projects. And I'm like, Oh, I just don't have any money. But when COVID hit I had money but nowhere to go. Like it was a Greece or Costa Rica. You're planning you're planning a big Yeah, I was I was gonna have a huge inner compass retreat in Mexico didn't happen. So I pivoted and made that retreat into an online course. Yeah, right. And that's why I was like, I got this money because I can't go out with girlfriends and spend it. I can't buy clothes because I'm only wearing leggings and PJ's. I should invest in the I should use this money and invest in me and it was I was scared and I waited to the last day. I don't know if you remember this. I sent it the last day. And I got an email from you saying like I saw you registered. And after I hit send I was so excited. I was not worried. I was not concerned about the money. And it, it seemed like a lot of money. And it was a lot of money. But in the end, it was worth it. It was worth it. I feel like I've had friends, I haven't changed much in COVID, you know, not much. But I have had friends who have seen pictures who have seen in real life, you know, at a distance, of course, but they're all like you have changed your, you just glow now. And I'm like, that's because I'm doing what I want. I'm living my dream. And I am exhausted, like I was doing a show up until last week, I started having rehearsals every night, I was working 30 hours, I was taking 13 credits, and I'm still a mom. And that's a lot of work. And I would come home every night with a smile on my face. I mean, dead on my feet exhausted. But it's because I was living the dream. And when you're living the dream, and you're going for your goals, and you don't always know how I'm getting there. But I know what my goal is going to be. And I think that's something you thought and I am grateful for that because I did not think COVID that this I would ever have this path like you could this time last year, we were still in that weird stage. And we didn't know what was forward. And I didn't know what was forward. Everybody knew what I wanted. And I got it. I love that. I love that so much. What do you feel like the course kind of helped you with? We'll talk about the group aspect of it like the community. But what were some of the lessons or takeaways from that I love how you named? So one of the lessons in the course is about kind of how uncertainty right? Like when we have a dream, the first question we ask ourselves is like, how is that going to happen? How is that going to happen during COVID? How is that going to happen? I have a family how and I love how you name like, I didn't know how I had my eye on the goal. And that path kind of unfolded. And I was working towards that. What were some other things that you feel like shifted your mindset or how you just move in the world? I think I just looked from proof that this was possible, like and that was huge. Like, there was a mindset change, instead of always saying or a set of talking myself down from doing something I was like, but what if, what if I just audition and see what happens. And sometimes it didn't turn out. But that's okay. And sometimes it did. And it paid off in a huge way. And it got me closer to what I want to do in life. And it's not been easy, you know, I don't think reaching goals is ever, it's never going to be handed to you very easily. But I feel like it is in a way like it is in the way I'm not stressed about it. Like I know if I don't get this audition, I don't want this. That's okay, because there's another one coming. And that allows me to just breathe and not be so hard on myself and be like, there's something better out there there is something waiting for me. I don't know what it is, I just have to be patient, which is not one of my normally one of my gifts, but I have learned it and I and I'm seeing it, seeing these great things manifest in front of me and just be like, I look back. And I'm amazed that this is my life that I'm getting paid to act now. Ah, yes. I love that. That's and so this summer, we're going to be doing another live round of inner compass. So there's going to be more calls with me and a community aspect to it. What did what did that community vibe and also just kind of being led through the work having those consistent calls with me in the summer? How did that help? In the experience? What was your What was that? What did that give you? It really helped with my feeling not alone. And when you admit a fear, and you have that strength to even put a little kernel of what your fear is other people like, Oh, I have that. And this is more and you realize, oh my gosh, thank goodness, I am not, you know, it's not me who's being weird. The rest of the world feels this way. I've also gained and friends. I wasn't expecting that I was expecting us to be in calls and be friendly. And you know, like one of the girls wrote a book. And I got it and it was amazing. I ordered it I was so excited to support someone and then I read it and I'm like, This is good stuff. She did good work. Another girl is a yoga podcaster kind of mix. And I adore her and I listened to her every week. She puts out a little it's a short little podcast does a great great job and they hear the happiness in her voice like of her living her dream. And I'm so glad like we're Facebook friends but I feel like if I ever went anywhere near her house, if I ever leave the house again, it I could call on her and be like, hey, you want to meet for lunch. I'm going to be in town for this. And I wouldn't be nervous about it because they are just kindred spirits, I guess is the best way to say it. They are the women in the group, the people that you attract because of your post because of your podcast, because of the podcast you visit on and do interviews for those are good people. They're not the people that you they're not bullies, they're not the people you fear out there out to get you there are people who want to cheer you on, and you want to cheer them on. And it's a beautiful, beautiful community of women. I had, I had have just had a call today, it was a great call. And we sat there and laughed. And there were two women I didn't know as well in the group. Well, we had a great time, we had just a beautiful time in our little breakout session. We Yeah, it's it's really interesting. I, when I first started creating group coaching programs, I kept being like, wow, this is such a great group. And I really thought it was like luck, or coincidence that I just kept looking out. But I after this many years of doing it, like the whole heart community is incredible. The people who engage in this work with me, like you said, Beth Ann are just kind people like there is just openness and honesty, and like we have fun doing difficult work, which I think makes it so much more accessible and easy. And I love that you name that because even as a coach for a while I was like I don't I don't know if this is is this luck is this? But yes, yeah, it's there's the really wonderful containers. It's all surance fault people. That's what I'm gonna say. So, okay, that's and you've talked about it a little bit. Right. So you joined us last summer, it's almost been a year of doing this work? What have the transformations, the changes, the big ones, the small ones, all that stuff that you really want to name and highlight for us? What have those been? I think it's confidence in myself, I think is a big one, like in your at first I didn't realize it would because it's like, oh, you're not in person. It's not one on one. But this group of people that you know, will cheer you on gives you confidence. And I have gone to the group web page, and it posted. I just booked a commercial, let me post it here for you. And I sure like, there are people who probably wouldn't care. But this group of people were like, that is the best commercial ever. And it probably wasn't, but I appreciated their enthusiasm, I had a great time making it, I am so proud of it. I am and I wanted to show I knew that if I put it just on Facebook, it may or may not go well with some friends. But I knew with these friends that I I was good, I was good. And that that helped build my confidence for the next thing. And the next thing and the next class, you know, finding that next class acting class that I could do and putting myself out there acting is a lot of putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and people judging you. And it's not easy. You know that from your own profession, people judging your voice. And I'm sure they judge your look, they judge how you do everything. And that is nerve wracking. But I feel like I've gained so much confidence from this class by just looking in at myself seeing what I was misinterpreting, in my own mind. just fixing it in my mind and re looking at it and being like that is not what that thought you need to talk against that thought you need to remind yourself You are a good person. You know, Yeah, looks are not the most important thing. What's inside is important. Like, yeah, good looks will get you far but only so far, and they don't last forever. It's your heart that's important. And, you know, every woman in in the group container that we're in this bunch of women are good people, and you see them on these calls, and they might have their kids pop heads, your head little pop in during class, or you know, their cat walk across the screen. And they are just this you just laugh at that. And you're just like, yeah, of course that happens because this is life and they're very real, and most of us come without makeup on. It's it's a very real class. We're very vulnerable, very, very vulnerable. But then final question. If someone was considering joining unsure on the fence, what would you say to someone who's thinking of joining? I know it feels like you're going to be spending a lot of money and I'm not downplaying that. The money is so well spent. I have not missed that money. I you will be a year older God willing and in a year might actually be the best healthiest you you can be. And it's worth it. I like invest in yourself. Just like I had a friend Tell me invest in good headshots because they're going to get you where you want to be. Invest in your insight too, because that's going to get to where you're going to be. I have learned so many tools, I have used these tools on my classmates, I have had classmates who were just they were in the same boat I am and I'm just like, B plus work. one of your favorites. A B plus work works like that paper does not have to be perfect. Run the spellcheck send it off. And that's okay. Like B plus is really great work. And that, that has helped me with being a better mother, I think because I have been nicer and I've had things to say to my kids to help them do difficult situations. And I think if you follow Sherine for any amount of time, you see she has a good heart and she wants you to be healthy. And yeah, you can get that from the stuff she posts every day. Or you can also get it in her class and I would highly, highly suggest somebody signing up for her class. Beth and thank you so so much for sharing your wisdom your time your energy all that. Um, I can't wait to see you on my TV. This is so exciting. Yes, so everyone stay tuned because you're going to be seeing Batman on the big screen very soon. Thank you so so much again, Batman. Thank you sure. And I love you. Love you too. Thank you so much for listening love. If you're interested in joining the inner compass experience my free five day masterclass where I give you a sneak peek into the inner compass experience. You can head to the show notes or go to wholehearted dash coaching comm slash experience. And if you want to find out more about inner compass, the course which is my online course that teaches you how to reignite Reclaim Your purpose, passion and joy, then you can head to wholehearted dash coaching comm slash inner compass or head to the show notes. I really do hope that you join me for one of these things, whether it's a masterclass to see what the course is like, or just sign up for the course. So you can do the virtual summer camp with me this summer where I will be guiding you through this transformational process. Until next week, love I will talk to you then. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this week's episode, please share it with a friend. comment and rate this podcast until next week. See you later. Love