Fear of Failure | ep66
About this episode:
One of the biggest reasons we delay or talk ourselves out of our dreams is not because we're procrastinators, or we're lazy, or that we have no idea what we're doing or even that we're hot mess expresses. Nope. That's not it.
The biggest reason we talk ourselves out of our dreams is that we're afraid to fail. Our fear of failure is often what stands in the way of pursuing our dreams.
Like fall flat on our face, dreams getting crushed, never want to live through that again failure. For the last few weeks, we've been focusing on different modules from Inner Compass: The Course, and this week we're focusing on Module 3 which is all about resistance.
You have to fail in order to succeed. There’s no way around it. The path to your dreams can and will be riddled with failures. So many failures, love.
Truth is, each failure is setting you on the trajectory towards what you truly want. In short, the more you fail, the more likely you are to get to your goal.
There aren’t enough characters in this post that would allow me to document all of my failures… in the past month. But here is what I have learned about failure… it’s necessary and it’s part of the process.
The more we dream. The bigger we dream- the more likely we are to experience failure.
So, I am here to tell you that you will fail. But, I’m also here to tell you that you can fail better. Fail more easily. Fail more lovingly.
I call it my Fail Better Action Plan.
Here’s how:
1) You are allowed to have feelings about failing. This is your dream after all, so you’re probably feeling sad, hurt or disappointed. So give yourself the time and space to properly feel the feelings. You do not need to suck it up and move on until you are ready.
2) Don’t make this failure part of any “story” about yourself. This is just a failure. That’s it. It has nothing to do with your character, your worth, or your intelligence. This failure is not more evidence to add to your “failure file”.
3). Fail a lot. This does 2 things. One, it helps the ego realize that failure doesn’t mean the end of the world. You’ll never become desensitized to failure but you will learn that failure isn’t always as painful as you imagine. And two, you will come to understand that failure just means that you are trying. It means that you are one step closer. It means that the next step you take could be the one.
4) Adopt the mindset that failure just means that something better or more aligned is on its way to you. Because, I can tell you with 100% certainty it is.
The possibility of failure should never be the reason that you hold back on your dreams, love. The path to your dream will contain so much failure.
So go ahead and fail. Fail big.
But fail kindly.
Okay, love?
We spend an entire lesson on how to navigate failure in Inner Compass: The Course. You still have time to join us! And if you want a head start on failing better, listen to the episode below.
A quote to take with you:
Want to dive deeper through journal prompts?
If you want to be in the know and get each Mindset Monday straight to your inbox, get on my email list: https://forms.aweber.com/form/26/1798524926.htm
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Inner Compass: The Course: If you’re ready to finally figure out what you’re meant to do in this world, if you’re ready to stop getting in your own damn way, if you’re ready to actually breath life into your dreams, then this special experience is for you. Graduates know how to face challenges and achieve their goals because they know how to use their mindset to work for them. That’s why there is such a huge success rate.
About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to trust your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.
+ Read the episode transcript here
Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. If you're looking for more purpose, more passion, more joy in your life and you have come to the right place. Let's create your dream life while living your dream life. Okay love. Hi love. Welcome to wholehearted coaching the podcast. This is where we take a deeper dive into my mindset Monday post, which you can read on Instagram at wholehearted coaching or you can get the full post plus journal prompts. When you sign up for my email list. You can do that in the show notes or you can head to my website wholehearted dash coaching Comm. So today's episode is for anyone who has an idea, a dream, something that they really want to pursue, but they keep talking themselves out of it. They keep talking themselves out of it, because they're afraid that they're going to make a mistake that they're going to fail. They're terrified of taking the next step. So today we're talking all about resistance, right? That resistance that you feel when you have an amazing idea that resistance you feel when you want to embark on something that means a lot to you. The truth is, no matter how much you want to do something, no matter how clear you are on what that thing is, you are going to get in your own way. And in fact, the more you want to do something, the more you're going to get in your own way. So we can't talk about going after our dreams if we also don't talk about what is keeping us from following through. Now resistance shows up in a lot of different ways. procrastination and decisiveness, self sabotage, perfection, imposter syndrome, there's a really long list. But we have to understand that these are all just symptoms. They are symptoms of fear, they're manifestations of our fear, right? So many times we get hard on ourselves, because we're like, why am I delaying? Why am I going back and forth love that isn't a character flaw. You're human. That is a manifestation of your fear, whether that's fear of failure, uncertainty, judgment, starting all over. This list also goes on as well. Fear is what is holding you back. Talking about and learning about resistance is such an important part of going after our dreams. And this is a huge part of the work that I do with my clients, whether it's one on one or in a group setting, right working on resistance is what allows us to go towards. So for the last two weeks, each episode of the podcast has been dedicated to one of my modules in my online course inner compass, the course inner compass shows you how to create dreams, again, dreams that are so rooted in who you are and who you're becoming. And it shows you how to go after those dreams in a way that is easy, joyful, and effective, right getting shit done, but with joy and ease as your anchor. This course is all of the tools and lessons that have changed the lives of my clients culminated into an on line course, truly everything you find in inner compass, the course is something that has changed the lives of others. And I've seen so many lives transformed because of inner compass the course. So this summer, starting on June 11, I am teaching the course live as part of my inner compass virtual summer camp, I am going to be guiding you through this work personally, it's going to be an incredibly intimate and special experience. So instead of you just doing the work by yourself alone, I am going to be there with you. We're going to have some special guests and an amazing online community to support inspire and cheer you on. You can find out more about the course by going to the show notes or heading to wholehearted dash coaching comm slash inner compass we start on June 11. So there are five modules in the course and for five weeks, I am giving you a sneak peek into what we do on the podcast. So we are now on week three, and week three and the module is all about resistance. And to me the resistance module in the course is the most important because resistance is always going to be part of the journey, right those feelings of being unsure, scared, hesitant, right. And if we don't learn how to navigate these moments in a healthy way, we can never truly reach our dreams. Or if we do reach them, it's often in a really unhealthy way, and we can't sustain our dreams. I knew when I created inner compass of the course, that this resistance module had to be part of it. Because as a coach, I know it doesn't matter how many tools I give you, if you do not know how to navigate your fear, then all those tools are useless. I believe what's even more important than creating a plan of action to realize our dreams is creating a plan of action for when resistance pops up along the way. So while I want you to dream big, which is what we talked about in last week's episode, right, how to start dreaming again, in those bold, limitless ways, I want you to also learn how to have a relationship with resistance, a healthy relationship, I want you to have better tools to navigate it. And that's what we do in inner compass the course. And that is why the participants of inner compass the course not only create dreams, but reach those dreams, because they have the tools that we're going to be talking about today. And also the tools that we explore in the course. Now an inner compass the course we tackle the fear of uncertainty, right? How am I going to do this, what's going to happen? The fear of the not enough sprite, that feeling of never being enough or having enough, and in today's episode, we're talking about fear of failure. There's a whole lesson in inner compass the course on fear of failure. And I honestly think that fear of failure or fear of making mistakes is one of our biggest fears. So in today's episode, we're going to be getting deep about failure. And I'm going to give you a reframe, that's going to completely shift how you see and approach failure, and also a framework for how to fail and I call this my fail better action plan. So before we dive in, I want to remind you right that every podcast episode, this month also has a companion worksheet, these worksheets help you dive deeper into what we're talking about in the episode. So to get those worksheets, get on my email list, right, you can go to the show notes, or my website, and at the end of every episode, you can listen to a former inner compass participant share about their experience in the course. And you'll really want to listen to this interview if you're someone who is holding on to a dream, but delaying because of fear. my interview with Lisa is going to show you what's possible when you have the inner compass tools. Lisa has done some amazing things since completing the course. Alright, so let's get into today's Mindset Monday, it reads, failure and success are one in the same. Because failure means that you are one step closer to where you want to be. The opposite of failure isn't succeeding. The opposite of failure is never trying, never putting yourself out there never going after your desires. The opposite of failure is staying right here, love. So we were all sold of big old lie when they told us that making a mistake. Failing is the worst thing that could ever happen to us right to go after something that we truly desire. And for it to not happen. And because of this lie that this is the greatest pain of all, we all navigate our lives trying to avoid failure, right? We make decisions where avoiding failure is our North Star, right? We're talking about inner compass. And for so many of us, our North Star is just don't make a mistake don't fail. Right? Is that resonating for you? Because that resonated for me for so long. My Northstar was okay, you can do whatever you want to do, but just don't make a mistake, which meant that I really wasn't doing what I actually wanted to do. Honestly, I think one of the biggest factors that keeps us from listening to ourselves from trusting ourselves is our fear of failure, right? instead of listening to ourselves, we want to make the right decision, the one that's going to ensure success. And so in the process of trying to pick the right thing, we stop listening to what we are trying to tell ourselves, we stall we listen to other people, we become indecisive and we procrastinate. we're so busy trying to avoid making a mistake or failing that we don't do the things that are truest to ourselves. Love it is your fear of failure that is so often keeping you from taking the next step. Right and so because we're afraid to fail, we don't do anything, we don't go after our dreams, we don't pursue our desires. And so we stay right here we stay exactly where we are. A place where we intuitively know deep in our bones is not the place that is meant for us. And to me, this is far worse than failing. Never going after your desires, your dreams, your goals, we have to learn that the opposite of failure isn't success. The opposite of failure is never trying, never putting yourself out there, never going after your desires. In inner compass, I define failure as not going after what you desire. I define failure as staying stagnant, not creating momentum, never embarking on what you want most on what your soul desires. Failure is not listening to your gut, your heart, what your spirit is asking you to do. Because the truth is, failure is a necessity. We have to fail and make mistakes in order to get where we want to be failure making mistakes. This is what creates change and evolution, right? If your dream is something new, something that you've never embarked on before, even in the tiniest way, then that also means you don't fully know what you're doing. Right. embarking on new things means making mistakes, sometimes new mistakes, sometimes old mistakes, but embarking on anything new, involves failure. So love, I am here to tell you, you're gonna fail, you're going to make mistakes. Whatever dream you're choosing for yourself, I know one thing to be true, you will fail at some point. You know that phrase failure is an option. That's trash, we're changing that failure is an option. And in fact, it is the only option. Because failure means that we are trying we're working towards we're doing the new and uncomfortable things that could lead to what we desire. This is what I mean when I say that failure and success are one in the same because failure is an indicator that you're one step closer to succeeding love. You're one step closer to your dream. failure and success go hand in hand. So instead of trying to avoid failure, right, which means not really doing the things you want to do. How about we accept that failure is part of the process and necessary part of the process. And instead of trying to avoid it, learn how to fail better. Because the truth is, we've never really been taught how to fail, all we've been taught how to do is avoid it, right? Which leads us further away from what we truly want. So I want to present a reframe of failure for you. So scientists have a word for failure. And that word is data, or data, depending on where you live. I'm going to say data, I don't know maybe it's cuz I'm Canadian, but data. In order for a scientist to find an answer, a solution, a possible cure, they have to conduct hundreds, if not 1000s of experiments, experiments that go wrong until they stumble on the one experiment that works. The one experiment, that's all they need one that just works. And that's when they find the answer the solution, the cure. scientists don't call those experiments leading up to the answer failures, or mistakes or that there were wrong. They call them data. Each failed experiment is knowledge, its wisdom, its insight, so that the next time they try they do it differently armed with greater awareness, right, knowing what did work, what didn't work and trying it a different way. It said that Edison failed 1000 times until he figured out the solution to the light bulb. And when a reporter asked him what it was like to fail 1000 times he said, I didn't fail 1000 times the light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps. We have to fail in order to figure it out, in order to get where we want to go. Because failure gives us knowledge and wisdom. It teaches us about the next step we need to take. We really can't figure out that next step so often until we fail. I say this often but love, we don't make mistakes. We just make discoveries. And so if we reframe our idea around failure and mistakes in this way that on the other side of any decision we make or any step we take is a discovery than we realize there is no right or wrong. There is no failure or success. There is just growth, insight and wisdom. Now listen, some of our discoveries are going to be painful, right? I can't sit here in all honesty and say, you know, every discovery is going to be just a wonderful Experience No, no, no, no. There, there will be some discoveries that are very painful. But I know that on the other side of some of our most painful moments, is also growth. Let's be honest, some of the greatest growth we've experienced is often due to a quote unquote mistake. Some of our greatest insights and wisdom comes from our quote unquote, wrong decisions. Love when faced with a decision, we think we only have two options, right and wrong. But what if we saw only one option, the true option, growth, growth, discovery, data, wisdom, whatever you want to call it, it all propels you forward, forward to what you most desire. So now that you're starting to maybe question and reframe your beliefs on failure, let's talk about my fail better action plan. Okay, this teaches you how to feel better. Now there are three F's, the first F is feel the feels, the second is find the growth. And the third is fail a lot. So let's talk about each of these one feel feels. A lot of the times when we fail, we feel like we have to just move on, get over it or suck it up, we're taught that there's no space and time to process our feelings. Because we need to stay in action, we need to keep going after our goals. And while this is well meaning advice, it's harmful. Because if we don't process the pain of failure, in a healthy way, it stays with us. Right, our emotions are just energy vibrations moving through us. And if we don't channel that energy properly, they manifest in the most destructive ways towards others, but more often than not towards ourselves. Love, you are allowed to have feelings about failing, this is your dream, right? So you're probably sad, hurt, disappointed, you are allowed to have those feelings and more. So give yourself the time and space to properly feel the feelings. Now we're going to talk about this in depth in next week's episode, how we can feel the feelings how we can find that beautiful space of not ignoring what we're feeling and also not staying there for a really long time and ruminating in those feelings, right, next week's episode is going to be all about that. But one of the biggest keys is to tap into our compassion when we are trying to feel the feels or self compassion. So two questions I asked myself when I'm like really judging myself for you know, failing, as I asked myself, What would a loving friend or family member say to me in this moment, and what would a loving friend or family member do for me in this moment, and I write those things down and I try to reciprocate them towards myself. So the second step, now find the growth. So we talked about finding the growth, we discussed, reframing our relationship with failure and seeing them as opportunities for growth for discovery. Now, the one disclaimer I'm gonna offer here is take your time. So often we try and find the wisdom, the growth before we process the feelings before we process what's really happened. And sometimes you're gonna find the wisdom in a matter of days, other times is gonna take years only you know, when you are ready to find the growth or the insight or wisdom hits you one day, right. So just be patient, honor the process, the Wisdom is going to come. Take not Han says, if you can learn from your mistakes, then you have already transformed the garbage into a flower, for your own joy, for the joy of your ancestors for the joy of the future generations. Alright, so now we're moving on. And again, I'm going through this really quickly, but if you really want to truly learn how to do this, I encourage you to check out inner compass the course. But now we're at the final step which is fail a lot. Now there are two reasons why this step is so important one, listen, you're never going to be desensitized to failure. But the more you fail, the more you learn that it's not always as painful as you imagine. And if it is, you will prove to yourself that you know how to handle it. And the second reason why I say fail a lot is that you're going to come to understand that failure just means you're trying it means that you're one step closer, it means that the next step you take could be the one remember channeling Edison right he had no idea that failure 999 was going to lead to the light bulb but he knew that he was closer and closer the three F's allow you to navigate failing making mistakes and and you know quote unquote bad decisions with compassion, wisdom and resilience. Love you're gonna fail, you're gonna fail and you know what, I'm so excited that you're going to fail because that means you are trying you are discovering you are transferring You are growing. In the worksheet that you can get when you sign up for my email list, you will find prompts and exercises from this lesson for this podcast episode, you're going to do exercises that allow you to help with the reframe how to explore the three F's, so you can get that worksheet by signing up for my email list. I want to end with these reminders on failure from Adrian Marie Brown. She says, If you tell a story without the mass and failures, the iterations I don't trust the success and lessons. If you hide your mistakes, you'll never be known. Everyone makes mistakes. What matters are the steps you take to learn the lessons be humbled. Laugh, Own your shit, stay in your dignity, and make new mistakes. New failures means new adventures love. So if you are ready to fail in a more loving way, if you are ready to fail towards the life you are dreaming of. I hope you join us for inner compass the course this summer, you can find out more by heading to the show notes or going to wholehearted dash coaching comm slash inner compass. Now, stay tuned for my interview with Lisa, a former inner compass graduate, she is someone who came to the course with big dreams, but lots of resistance. And during our time together, she transformed her resistance into momentum. I am so excited to introduce you to Lisa, Lisa did inner compass with us last summer, and she is someone who has this incredible mission. And watching her kind of really step into this mission and magnify this mission has been a true privilege and honor for me. And so Lisa, I want you to talk a little bit about yourself, whatever you want to share with us, but I cannot tell the audience enough. Like I love the work that Lisa does. And I just love the human that Lisa is. So Lisa, tell us about yourself. Well, that's quite the introduction. But thank you, it's kind of late in life to this figuring out what you want to do. I mean, it feels late in life, because that's kind of the story that I have been telling myself. But I think it was this journey I needed to take about five years ago got really into like the health and fitness aspect and dive deep into that. And then realized about three years in that I wasn't happy. I was teaching classes do e training, but it really kind of dive deeper into the yoga aspect of it. And that there was something missing in me and other women that I saw. So my mission really became How can I empower women to love themselves enough as they are now so that they take care of themselves in a way that brings them joy, because I saw too many people coming into the gym as a half two. As I should be doing this, I should be eating this way I should I should just shooting themselves to death and not enjoying one minute of anything. And I got sick of doing that. And decided, hey, why can't I use my experience to help other women navigate this area where it feels very much unless you're pursuing weight loss unless you're pursuing this ideal you're not doing it enough and you're not doing it right. And I wanted there to be a more joy filled way to pursue health and fitness. What an incredible mission. I love it so so much. And Lisa, what was your kind of, I guess relationship like with that mission, because before we kind of connected especially through inner compass, it felt like this was like a baby dream. Or it was a dream but like it wasn't being taken. I don't want to say seriously because you were very serious about it. But it was the way that you kind of stepped into it that really kind of like blew my mind over these last like this last year of watching you do that? Can you tell us about that? That little voice of Who am I to do this? Because it's a populated space health and fitness. It is not my place to talk about like body positivity necessarily because that is really for that bodies. And I I still have a lot of thin privilege. So it was trying to navigate this very interesting point where I'm like, I know I have stuff to say I know I can help women but who am I to do this and then I happened upon a messaging coach and she really kind of helped me I am a soul and heart driven messenger. And I am, I'm never gonna be in your face about that. And so that was my first step of being like, Oh, so I can start to embrace these things that I thought were a negative and turn them and use them for a positive, because I had not seen any of that represented to me that there might be a different way that I could be a leader in this space. And so it was very much. It felt a little like a pipe dream for a lot of years, where it's like, yeah, I want to do this, but so does 100 other people. And why would anybody want to pay me money to talk about this stuff, even though I know that my wisdom and my knowledge can help them and I, I always fall down this loop of, if I get that next certification, then I'm going to be really ready. And I think some of it felt like this case of Intel, I'm 100%. Ready, I can't take that first step. And so it was always this, well, let me get the next certification, and then I'll be ready. And then you'll see something else. And I'd be like, oh, but if I hit this, and there was never going to be a time I was going to start. And that's where I had to get to is like I was always going to be chasing that next thing. So that I could delay taking the bold step of just doing the thing. So what attracted you to doing inner compass, the chorus? What was it about it that you were like, Alright, I'm gonna, I'm gonna invest in myself, and I'm gonna do this work with Sharon, I think I had finally gotten to that space where I realized I couldn't do it any more on my own. That as many more books as I was going to read, or any YouTube videos I was going to watch. I had hit that plateau of where I could go alone. And anybody who hires a coach knows that it is really important to trust that they have your best interest at heart. And I probably I don't know how long I've been kind of creepy on Instagram, but I think that you have to, because of the way you show up, I felt very comfortable being like, Hey, I think she probably knows what she's doing. No shade of us. But I think it is very much the relationship that you can create with people. And with when we started this, it was kind of like the beginning ish of like, shut down. And I was like, you know, what, if I'm not gonna be able to go anywhere, then I'm dedicating this year, to working on me to like really working on me, because I was just ready. I think a lot of it was just like hitting the end of the line, and not in like a desperate way it was this way of I want more. There's more that I can give. There's more I can do. There's more in me. But I need help and support. And I think knowing that there's others who are kind of in that same boat, as you in the community aspect. Were really the huge pieces of why I'm like, now's the time. Yeah. So this summer, I'm like relaunching that live version of intercampus that we did where we had, you know, the two calls a month. And we had, you know, we have the online community together. And what was transformational, just just your general thoughts of like doing an online course, because sometimes doing an online course, they're great. Like, the course in and of itself stands alone. It's wonderful. However, having a community changes things, what kind of change, what did that give you? Somebody aha triggers something in somebody else, it may not be that same thing. And often it wasn't. But it was like this awakening, you're like, I had not seen it that way. So I can reinterpret that in my situation and in my life. And then sometimes it was just the space to like cry to like that big, ugly cry, and just have a circle of women who are like virtually hugging you, you're in the center, and you're just surrounded by love. And on the other side of that there is nothing that compares to just having a roomful of zoom women virtually clapping for you and lifting you up. So it works in that way to where it's like having those people to celebrate your aha to celebrate your wins. Because you have to do both sides. You can't just look at the bad, there's gonna be that achy part. But when you get to that other side to just look at it like you're on the other side of the river and you just have all of these women with their arms open saying like you can do this. We are here for you and you make it across and you're like celebration. I love that sound effect. That's exactly what it feels like. Lisa, tell me what were some of the things in the course the lessons or the worksheets, the concepts, that for you, you look back now and you're like, oh, that was that really shifted things or that that transformed things. For me, what were some of the things in the course that you really loved? Or are still takeaways for you? I think there was a failure aspect to it, because that was usually what was holding me back was that was probably Besides, like a confidence issue, there was a failure issue, where it was like, if I do this, and I fail, I don't like this feeling. And I have done had done a really good job in my life up to that point of choosing the safe option, where failure was minimized, if at all non existent. And kind of building my life around that. But it was a this way of giving myself permission, to reimagine and to look at failure in a way that wasn't about me morally as a person, but it was about what information Am I getting from this? What can I take from this lesson? and use it to change my course? If that's what I need to do? or What can I do differently next time. So I mean, it's still something that I'm I struggle with. I don't it's like this whole journey. It's never like an end destination endpoint. I don't think you ever get to this point where you're not afraid of failure, afraid of trying that next new thing. But I have the tools now to talk to myself, I'm like, Is this like legitimate danger? Or is this you know, that story that ego that voice telling you? We don't do this? Because I think, you know, especially remembering you from I mean, we've known each other now, like a year almost, is I think you were someone to me, who struck me as someone who wasn't the last for dreams. Like you, you you'd like you have the dreams, whether you were like writing them in Sharpie, like you're probably writing them in like a fake pencil, you know, like, a sharpie phase yet, but like you were writing them fairly and pencil. And I just remember I was like, Oh, this is just there's a resistance. There's like the not enough that you should like. So this is the lessons in the course where we talked about like the not enough where you think I have to get one more certification, or the fear of failure? Like I'm gonna make a mistake, how am I going to do all this? And I saw you, I have seen you navigate those with such self awareness, knowing Oh, this is what's popping up. Like you said, it's not like they go anywhere, but then being able to apply the tools for Okay, well, what's next, you know, like, this is here, but like, what's next for me? And what are the shifts or changes that you've seen in your life now? Well, I think you said it right away is like the self awareness. I kind of felt like I was fairly self aware, but knew I was not I had very much rose colored glasses as to what was going on. And I think now it's the tools to be like, okay, I realize this is happening, but I'm not judging it. And I think that's a big piece that we get ourselves tangled up in is that we notice something and then all of a sudden, we go straight into that judgment mode. I'm like, Well, now I'm a bad person. Because I did this or I'm a failure. Because I didn't do that. I'm like, it's just an awareness about these are habits I've been building for 44 years, they're not going to change in a couple of weeks. But because I know now that it's not because I'm a terrible person. It's just these are the habits I have formed now is my chance to stop it in this path. Be like, we're choosing something different because we don't do this anymore. And that's the biggest thing is just telling myself that we don't dream small anymore. We, you know, I always thought there's a lot of me that was too much. And it wasn't it was just that I was not big enough yet. But the container that was me was not big enough to hold all of this. And it's growing. It's so it's like that potted plant where it's like okay, you start in one pot, you get a little bit more knowledge, you get a little bit more awareness, you do some of the work so you have to go to a little bigger pot. So you're I think you're just always up leveling that container that you're in and I'm excited to see what the next container looks like because there's still more for me to do. Oh, Lisa, oh my gosh, so many like nuggets of wisdom in what you just shared. I hope whoever's listening wrote those down. Lisa also, I mean, I'm gonna have him on the podcast again because Lisa finished inner compass with me and then went on to do wholehearted woman, which is my more intimate group coaching program that has one on one calls with me as well. So you're going to be back, just know that for wholehearted woman because I have seen this transformation in you. And again, transformation isn't about those like big things and external, it's really how we think of ourselves and hold ourselves and experience life. But for me a culmination of all of this was you being on TV? Yeah, talking loudly and very proudly, and very much so as a leader about your work. Can you tell us about the Lisa, who showed up on national TV? It was local TV, but it was national, because I got to see it. And it was on TV. She was on TV. I mean, it's so scary to go on news. I've done it before. And it's good this short amount of time and there. It's just very scary. It's live. Tell us about that, Lisa, that Lisa was very much like, Oh my gosh, yes. You're asking me, why would you not be asking me, Lisa, before even inner compass would have been like, I think you've got the wrong number. And I would have been a nervous wreck in the time leading up to the interview. And I think my biggest shift was, I have a group of women friends. And we have kind of just created this group where we support each other, and I messaged them right before I'm like, I don't need luck. Because I've got this, I just want all of your good energy that the message that I need to say today is the message that is put out there. So I it wasn't about luck. I knew my stuff. I knew what I was talking about. And then to get there and be calm and cool and not have this like out of body experience and remember every single moment and then to rewatch it and be like, dang, I actually sounded like the coach. I know I am. I sounded like the professional. I am in a mic. And then they asked me back for a second interview. And so I'm like, okay, and I remember telling When is that going to happen? Is it coming up? What happened a couple of weeks ago? What What did you post? Oh, my gosh, okay, I need to go deep into your Instagram. Oh, that's amazing. Lisa, so the second house of a second time, but I remember. I remember telling my dad, he's like, Well, you didn't get a bunch of clients out of it. I'm like, No, whatever it really like out of this was to be back asked back a second time. And then literally a couple weeks later, I get this email saying, Hey, we want to talk about goals. Do you want to come on and talk about this? And like, Yes, I will. So it really just shifted the way I see myself professionally. I'm not that shy little girl who hid at the back of a class. We've had this conversation many times, I'm like, I'm finally stepping into that leading lady role in my life. I was a quirky best friend for a lot of years. And she's fun. And she comes out occasionally. But in the big moments of my life, I wanted to be the leading lady and I'm starting to embody that. Oh, Lisa, I love that so much you You are the leading lady that we need in our lives, we really do. Leaving Lady of heart and compassion and understanding and just so much joy and liberation. Are there is there anything you want to say to anyone who's like considering joining inner compass, especially because the summer we're going to be going through it live just like we did last summer? Anything you would say to someone who's on the fence or thinking about it, it's really, for me, it was those first baby steps to really discovering myself. So if you have ever worried that appropriate, you're not going to keep up with the program. It's impossible not to you, it's supposed to be at your own pace. And I think we get it in our head that if we don't hit every module, if we don't do every call that we're going to miss out on something, you're going to get what you are supposed to out of this program. And some of it is what you put into it is what you're going to get out of it. And it's a transformational step. I think it's just, especially if you've been on this journey of self discovery, if you've been on this and you just kind of feel like you're spinning your wheels and you're stuck and you don't know what to do next. This is what you do next. This is the program that is that next step so that you start to uplevel because you know stuff is gonna happen. And you're gonna be amazed that at the end of the program, you're like I did that. And the community aspect is something that cannot be overlooked as well because you need special mystery about accountability. I think it's just in this space. It just has to be that support. It has to be that knowledge that you are not in this alone. And you don't have to do this alone because I Be into this space. Well, I'm just gonna pull myself up by my bootstraps and do it myself. No, don't. Don't save yourself the heartache and invest in yourself, because this is a ripple effect, right? This is your pebble drop moment, because you're gonna drop this pebble invest in yourself. And now the ripples, it's Yeah, it'll change you. But how you show up in your life is that ripple effect, and then you inspire that other person who you didn't know is keeping tabs on you. And this is how we affect real change is that we start this ripple effect with ourselves so that we show up in our lives that our families in our communities in a whole way. Oh, Lisa, thank you. Thank you for that. Lisa. How can people find you and your work? I am mostly over on Instagram at Lisa thrusting. So find me over there. I'm doing all kinds of fun stuff. Yeah, that's probably the best place for people to find me. Because then you can catch all the other stuff. Yeah, follow Lisa. She has a wonderful podcast. You can find it there. She does amazing reels. She has amazing date like prompts for you to like they're just it's just a wonderful space that she's created over there on her Instagram page. So definitely check her out. Lisa, thank you so so much for being in community with me. I am so grateful for you and so thankful that your work is really being magnified in the world. Thank you. Well, thank you so much for having me on. Thank you all right. Bye Love. I thank you so much for listening love, there is still time to join us for inner compass the course. This summer I am teaching a virtual summer camp, which means that I will be guiding you through the work personally. The inner compass journey is all about learning how to reignite your purpose breathe life into your dreams and goals and to go after those dreams and goals in a way that is easy, sustainable, and efficient. So you get shit done, but it actually feels really good love. If you want to join us for this amazing experience this summer to join me and the inner compass community head to the show notes or wholehearted dash coaching comm slash inner compass. I really hope that you'll join us. Until next week, I'll talk to you then. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If you liked this week's episode, please share it with a friend. comment and rate this podcast until next week. See you later. Love