My 4 Manifestation Game-Changers | ep147
I used to believe that manifestation just really wasn’t for me. It didn’t seem possible for someone like me.
But, over the years through the training and education that I’ve gone through, I’ve learned some really eye-opening concepts, ideas, metaphors, and tools that really changed the game and allowed me to understand manifestation in a deeper way.
If you are feeling stuck or confused about manifestation or are just hoping for that one thing that really makes it click for you, I hope you find that here as I share 4 game-changers that helped me really see manifestation for what it really is.
Manifestation Game-Changer #1:
Focus on what you want instead of the lack of what you want.
Everything that we desire is actually 2 subjects: the wanted and the not-wanted.
So often with manifestation, we think we know what we want. Maybe you’re reading this thinking, “I know I want a new job,” or “I know I want a new partner.”
Well, something I’ve come to understand is that even though we may know what we want, what we focus on is what we don’t want, or the “not wanted.”
Let’s take the example of “I want a new job.”
We think we’re focusing on that new dream job that we desire, but we’re actually focusing on…
…how tough the job market is…
…how there are no good jobs out there…
…how the last 3 interviews were terrible…
Now, let’s look at the example of “I want a new partner.”
We think we’re focusing on the amazing relationship we really want, but instead we’re focusing on…
…how difficult it is to date…
…how bad the dating scene is right now…
…how we’re both too much and not enough…
I want to ask you to take a moment to reflect, love. Think of one thing you’re really desiring right now. Being honest with yourself, are you focusing on the desire or the lack of not having it right now?
This focus can also look like “I don’t want to be sick” instead of “I want to be well,” or “I don’t want to be broke anymore” instead of “I want to be finanically wealthy.”
What we focus on is what we end up manifesting.
And when I say “focus on what you want,” it’s focusing on that incredible relationship and how amazing you’re going to feel in it.
It’s focusing on that incredible new job and how you feel seen, valued, and respected whenever you walk into the office and you really love what you’re doing.
When you think of your manifestations, it should feel really good. If it doesn’t, there’s several reasons that could be, but it’s probably because you’re focusing on what you don’t want.
Manifestation Game-Changer #2:
Examine how much you’re relying on proof to believe in what you want to manifest.
One of the core concepts of manifestation is that we manifest what we believe. So, the work of manifestation is a process of shifting and changing our beliefs. The more and more we shift our beliefs, the more and more we can manifest what we really desire.
But, what trips us up is that we often want proof that our desire is 100% possible for us before we even begin to believe that it is.
We are waiting for what we want to actually manifest into our lives and THEN we will believe that it’s 100% possible for us and that we are 100% worthy and deserving of it.
Manifestation requires an unconditional belief. We have to believe in what we want despite the conditions not being there. We have to believe even though we haven’t manifested it yet.
Now listen, maybe you’re like me. When I first heard this concept, I was not having it. But, I felt so called out, too! This was exactly what I was doing: waiting for the thing I really wanted to show up in my life before I believed 100% that it was even a possiblity for me.
But manifesting is similar to gardening. When a gardener or farmer wants to grow something, they plant their seeds. They use the proper soil, they water it, and do all the things necessary. And they just allow the seeds to do their thing, to blossom and grow when it needs.
They don’t need proof that it’s going to happen. They just do what needs to be done to allow the seed to grow into it’s desired plant. This is how manifestation is supposed to be.
We plant our seeds of desire. We do the things we need to allow the seed to grow in its own time. We believe with absolute conviction that its going to bloom, even though we haven’t seen proof of it yet.
Manifestation Game-Changer #3:
Let go of the “how” and embody the “Set It and Forget It” mentality
Oftentimes when we set our desires for what we really want, our minds immediately jump into planning mode trying to figure out just how we’re going to make it happen.
But with manifestation, the “hows” will always take you out of your belief.
Trying to figure out “How is this going to happen?” will always take you out of that space of possibility because if you’re tyring to manifest something you’ve never manifested before, you honestly just won’t know what your how is until you get there, love.
So, in order to really manifest, you have to be willing to surrender and step into the “Set it and Forget it” mentality. Look at it like cooking something in a Crock-Pot.
You know what your desire is (your recipe). So, you take all of your ingredients, you toss them all into the Crock-Pot, and you basically set it and forget it.
This is what we need to embody for manifestation. Your job is to know 1) What you want and 2) Why you want it. Then, you set it and forget it, allowing the Universe to take care of the rest and cook it up for you.
There’s a great book called E-Squared by Pam Grout and she talks about this idea of putting an order into the Universe, similar to placing an order at a restaurant. When you order food at a restaurant, what do you do? What do you think or believe? Most likely, you trust that your food will come out to you in its own timing. You aren’t worried about all the steps it takes to cook the meal, to plate it up for you, to get back to your table.
More often than not, we won’t know at all how our manifestations will actually manifest. The Universe has its own little tricky schemes and plans to bring about our desires.
I want to share one of my favorite stories about the How truly surprising me.
So, I was doing one of the exercises in Pam Grout’s book. It was to write down a manifestation that seemed kind of audacious and a little difficult to do. For me, I wanted to win a free trip.
Now, how could I do this? Well, I could probably enter some sweepstakes, but really, I had no idea how this was going to happen. But, I put it in my journal and set it and forgot it.
About 6 months later, I was coming back to New York from Toronto, Canada and my flight had been delayed by 2-3 hours. Everyone was pretty ticked off about it, but that day, I really just didn’t care. It’s only about an hour-long flight and we’d gotten a food voucher which was pretty awesome, so I decided to sit and do some work.
So, all of a sudden, an announcement comes across the intercom. They let us know that our flight is actually overbooked and they were willing to offer a $1,000 travel voucher for anyone willing to go on the next flight instead. This next flight was only an hour after our flight.
Y’all. I was so far away from the gate, so when I looked up and heard this announcement I didn’t think I’d get to the gate before anyone else. But, I got up and I speed walked to the gate. When I got there, no one had claimed the voucher. It was mine if I wanted it.
This was it. This was my free trip.
And it was so wild to me! Why didn’t anyone else get up to claim this? I honestly don’t think anyone heard the announcement because they were in this closed-off space, but I was really open and energetic. And overall, I never would’ve written this “how” for my manifestation.
That travel voucher paid for my trip to Thailand with my husband. So love, you have to let go of your “how” and let the Universe do its thing.
Manifestation Game-Changer #4:
We have to let go of our timelines. Sometimes, our need for something to happen by a certain time is what blocks us from manifesting.
One of our BIGGEST challenges when it comes to manifestation is the timeline. We have our own timeine in our mind of when we wnat things to happen and we think if it doesn’t happen then, it’s never going to happen.
Too often our need for something to happen by a certain time is what blocks us from manifesting. When we’re in this space of “When is it going to happen?” we’re in a place of doubt focusing on what we don’t want.
Being able to let go of your timeline is so incredibly important and I know it can be so hard to do, but in manifestation, all you need to do is know what you want, why you want it, and allow the Universe to handle the rest.
I recently shared the story of how I manifested my husband and looking back now, I really understand that I was supposed to meet him when I did even though, in my mind, that timeline was too late.
I met my husband when I was 34. Now, many, many moons ago, I’d written in my journal the goal of getting married by the time I was 35. So, when we met, I was like… this is ridiculous. I decided not to put any pressure on this relationship or on him and to add to this, he didn’t even want to get married.
He said he would stay in a partnership with me forever, but he didn’t need a document. And y’all, I just let it go. When I realized this was who I wanted, who I had been manifesting, I released those things.
Well… 13 months after we met, he proposed to me.
16 months after our first date, we got married.
And, a few months after my wedding, it hit me: I was 35 and married. I didn’t even realize it because I had just let it go and let it be.
So, love, sometimes our manifestations do work on our timeline, but it really requires us to surrender, to let go. It requires us to allow for what the Universe wants for us.
I want to leave you with the final questions I ask in Everyday Magic, my manifestation course:
Imagine you are a person who absolutely believes that their manifestation is going to happen.
How does this person move in the world?
What do they believe?
How do they speak to themselves?
What do they think of themselves?
What meaning do they make when their manifestation hasn’t happened yet?
Oftentimes when our manifestations haven’t happened yet, we make it mean the worst things about ourselves. We think we’re failures or a mess or that it’s just never going to happen for us. But, if you actually allowed yourself to believe with 100% conviction that what you wanted was actually coming to you, what would you say to yourself instead?
I really hope you found a useful tool, concept, or metaphor during this manifestation series. I want you to be able to make things happen with ease.
If you enjoyed this, you’ll love these posts and episodes:
122 | Navigating Uncertainty on the Way to Your Dreams
When we go after a new dream, we head towards a place that makes us pretty uncomfortable — the unknown. Sometimes our fear of being so uncertain on “how” we’re going to get there leads us to trying to figure out a plan, but here’s the thing, love — you can’t create a map to a destination you have not been to yet. Listen to this episode to learn how to reframe your relationship with the unknown, embrace the journey (no matter how uncertain), and welcome the “how” step-by-step.
Enjoy the rest of the Manifestation series below:
144 | The #1 Manifestation Mistake
If you’ve found yourself already manifesting things into your life but find you’re not feeling that sense of ease and fulfillment, this 1 mistake may be standing in your way.
145 | How I Manifested Love
On the journey to manifesting my husband, I learned what it really means to manifest anything you truly desire in life. Use the lessons from my story to bring about anything you desire.
146 | Lucky Girl Syndrome
Let’s talk about the viral trend that’s taken over social media, what’s great about it, what it really is, and what you can do instead if its concept makes you feel a bit icky about manifestation.
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About your host, Shirin Eskandani
Hi, love! I’m Shirin.
Coach, speaker, writer, and life alchemist.
I teach you how to listen to your intuition again, tune out all the BS, and let your heart lead the way.
Because once you strengthen your inner GPS, decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer, and belly laughs become a daily thing.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
I’m a certified life coach (accredited through the International Coach Federation)
My husband and I met on Instagram and we live in Brooklyn, NY with our plant babies
I have a masters degree in Music and was a professional opera singer for twelve years. I worked all over the world singing on stage at Carnegie Hall and the Metropolitan Opera (more on that later…).
I believe in the woo just as much as I do the work (internal and external). No amount of crystals and affirmations will make up for a lack of a healthy mindset and aligned action.
I love all the Real Housewives franchises. Don’t make me choose one… seriously, don’t.